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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu my boyfriend’s Facebook still says ‘single’ after 18 months

205 replies

finniesmummy · 11/12/2020 08:15

So, as title says, I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. His Facebook is still set as ‘single’.
It really upsets me but I’m not sure how to broach the subject and I’m loathe to cause any issues or arguments

OP posts:
IToldYouIWasFreaky · 11/12/2020 08:17

Why do you think mentioning it might cause an issue or argument?

GreenClock · 11/12/2020 08:18

Perhaps it’s an oversight. My mate’s been married since 2012 and hasn’t updated her Facebook status.

Or do you have other concerns?

Original poster
finniesmummy · 11/12/2020 08:19

Because he obviously has a reason for keeping it as single

OP posts:
billybagpuss · 11/12/2020 08:20

He probably hasn’t even noticed, I’m quite active on fb and have no idea what mine is set to. Hopefully married but honestly I have no clue.

Original poster
finniesmummy · 11/12/2020 08:20

There’s no pictures of me or us together or anything. It’s literally just him.
I’m not on Facebook myself

OP posts:
Scolha · 11/12/2020 08:21

It’s Facebook.
I don’t even have my partner as a friend. Who cares.

RUOKHUN · 11/12/2020 08:21

“Hey babe, do you think we should go Facebook official?”

YABU. You sound very young and immature.

LawnFever · 11/12/2020 08:21

Why would it cause an argument?

Maybe he’s just not thought about it, if you set yours and tag him it’ll give him an alert to approve, just do that

MaidofKent78 · 11/12/2020 08:21

I've no idea what my relationship status is on FB, and I've been married for years. Not sure what my husband's says either...It's really not that big a deal. But if it bothers you that much, just ask. And if that sort of question causes arguments, then you need to ask yourself why.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 11/12/2020 08:23

After 18 months, you should be able to ask him about it without it causing an argument though. What's your communication like with him about other things? Do you row a lot?

Shoxfordian · 11/12/2020 08:23

Why are you so worried about talking to him?

Lockheart · 11/12/2020 08:23

And? My Facebook still says I'm working somewhere I haven't for four years.

firstimemamma · 11/12/2020 08:23

My fiancé's Facebook status is 'single' and we've been together for 6 years. It doesn't bother me remotely, in fact I prefer it. If it bothers you though then you must speak to him.

C0NNIE · 11/12/2020 08:25

If you are not close enough to discuss Facebook together then you are certainly not close enough to be having sex together.

AppleKatie · 11/12/2020 08:25

Mine says I live somewhere I never actually have 😂

I agree with others the problem isn’t his status it’s the fact that the two of you seemingly can’t talk about it. That’s really strange and not healthy after 18months you should be able to talk about anything and everything.

Xmassprout · 11/12/2020 08:25

Do his friends and family know he is in a relationship?

Is there any other cause for concern?

I personally don't see the big deal if this is the only issue.

An0n0n0n · 11/12/2020 08:26

Why are you worried to broach it?

Nottherealslimshady · 11/12/2020 08:28

Does he update his Facebook alot with what he's up to and add pictures of his friends?
Some people just dont do that.

dramallama7 · 11/12/2020 08:28

@RUOKHUN

“Hey babe, do you think we should go Facebook official?”

YABU. You sound very young and immature.

Agreed. Sorry but I cringed a bit. I've been with my DP for 6 years and see absolutely no reason why it should be 'Facebook official'. What difference is it going to make? If you want anyone to know, just tell them?
Original poster
finniesmummy · 11/12/2020 08:29

We don’t row at all- never even had a slight argument. I hate confrontation and will avoid it all costs

OP posts:
Original poster
finniesmummy · 11/12/2020 08:31

I am so far away from ‘let’s go official on Facebook’!!! Can’t stand people like that
And I think that accusation is well out of order. I hate Facebook personally and don’t even have it!
It’s just the fact that he does have it, is friends with a huge amount of females on there and look to all intents and purposes as if he is completely free single and available all over it!

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 11/12/2020 08:33

Are the women actually his friends or does he add randoms?

If he uses FB then it sounds dodgy.

billybagpuss · 11/12/2020 08:33

@finniesmummy

We don’t row at all- never even had a slight argument. I hate confrontation and will avoid it all costs
But if you avoid it by not broaching something that is clearly bothering you, you’re setting yourself up to a very compliant future, with none of your personality anywhere. Worse case scenario you’re setting yourself up to being very vulnerable to being controlled.

This is a good one to start building your confidence just ask him, I bet it hasn’t occurred to him.

yelyah22 · 11/12/2020 08:34

I've been with my partner 8 years, I don't have him on my Facebook relationship statusm and neither does he. It's not important to us. Why is it important to you? I don't mean that rudely, I mean: what is it about that, or the relationship more generally, that makes you feel you need the 'security' of him being off the market on a social media network?

Do you trust him? Does he chat women up on social media? What would him saying 'In a relationship' do that you're not getting right now? I think that's worth thinking about. If you trust him and he's not up to no good on Facebook, then I don't see why it matters. If you don't/he is up to no good, then you have bigger problems than his Facebook relationship status.

borntohula · 11/12/2020 08:35

Just bloody ask him ffs.