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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things i've learned from MN (lighthearted)

191 replies

Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 19:50

It's not supposed to offend anybody, feel free to add to them.

Single parents should only have secret dates for at least 2 years before introducing children to their new partners.

Teenagers should be kicked out at 18 with no financial support.

If you want friends who reply to messages on the same day and need more than annual meetups, you're needy and demanding.

Teachers are very overrated and don't work harder anybody else.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 21:05

If you cook something like fish fingers and chips for your kids because you're tired or let them go on the ipad or whatever you're an awful parent.

OP posts:
GingerbreadFairy · 10/12/2020 21:08

@FrazzledFTM

You need to marry your man immediately because god forbid a woman is financially secure without being married. But, once you are married, if he is ever in a bad mood and pisses you off one day, LTB.
LOL! This!!
FippertyGibbett · 10/12/2020 21:08

If in doubt LTB.
In fact just LTB.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 10/12/2020 21:09

Pineapples don't grow on trees.

Fruit is evil and full of sugar.

My DD will never be a judge or doctor due to her name.

rslsys · 10/12/2020 21:09

A chicken can feed a family for at least a week.

ReeseWitherfork · 10/12/2020 21:10

Getting excited and feeling happy about birthdays, weddings, upcoming babies is BAD AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

BritWifeinUSA · 10/12/2020 21:11

Anything American is evil...except Disney World.

Anyone who spends more than £24.72 on a fortnight’s shopping is overspending.

Anyone who comments that they don’t like your new haircut/jumper/dog is gaslighting.

Everyone lives “very rural”.

Yennefer19 · 10/12/2020 21:11

That the 1% of the population diagnosed as a narcissist are all realated to people who post on here.

Never name your child Cayden/Hayden/Jayden because they will be seen as a 👀👀 (whispers) chav.

Original poster
Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 21:11

Oh yeah, that one !
Don't expect anything. Be grateful you even got a gift. Don't expect any fuss or attention whatsoever.

OP posts:
hamsham · 10/12/2020 21:11

If DH tries his luck by smacking your arse as you're bent overnhooveebut you don't want any, then "I'm really sorry, OP but this is sexual assault. LTB"

changedmynameforChristmas · 10/12/2020 21:12

@hamsham

If DH tries his luck by smacking your arse as you're bent overnhooveebut you don't want any, then "I'm really sorry, OP but this is sexual assault. LTB"
It's actually a form of rape :)
hamsham · 10/12/2020 21:13

Bent over hoovering! 🙄 fat fingers

Original poster
Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 21:13

If he's got a female friend they are probably having an emotional affair.

OP posts:
AliceMadHatter · 10/12/2020 21:14

I learned today that because I have bought my teenager some designer trousers for Christmas it's going to make him grabby in the future (he wouldn't ask if it wasn't Christmas, and is such a good down to earth lad).

BritWifeinUSA · 10/12/2020 21:15

@hamsham

Bent over hoovering! 🙄 fat fingers
Fat fingers? On MN? Never! All MNers are a size 8 because they eat huuuuge portions of salad and be er, ever, ever go to McDonald’s.
Original poster
Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 21:15

Oh my, it gets worse !

OP posts:
Liloulou · 10/12/2020 21:15

@Wigisfashion83

Hot tubs are chavvy sex ponds.
🤣
LolaSmiles · 10/12/2020 21:15

That the only possible way to resolve even the most minor school issues is to demand a meeting with the head or write to the chair of governors.

If a woman moves in with her DP then she should not pay rent as it's paying to his mortgage and she should have her own investments. If a man moves into his female DP's house and doesn't pay rent then he is a cocklodger.

Finding out you're having a baby boy is the most upsetting, devastating, traumatic moment and a huge disappointment.

Original poster
Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 21:15

'Why did you have children with this man ?'

OP posts:
GingerbreadFairy · 10/12/2020 21:16

Although, going against the spirit of this thread slightly, I'd say:

If you have a child with special needs then Mumsnet is pretty fucking amazing for advice on the SN boards. What I learnt on there enabled me to successfully fight for support in school my child needed and I credit MN SN with making a huge difference to my DC's life.

nosswith · 10/12/2020 21:17

A lot of new abbreviations.
That there is such a thing as a penis beaker.
The joys of playmobil.
That many people enjoy the game of games.

Twinpeaksdancingman · 10/12/2020 21:17

Retired greyhound obviously Hmm

Yennefer19 · 10/12/2020 21:17

Also saw a thread on here the other day where it’s entirely appropriate to ask your 18 year old to leave because once you’ve brought them a new car and brought them a house mortgage free your job is done 🤣🤣

Original poster
Wigisfashion83 · 10/12/2020 21:18

Your dog must be perfectly trained or kept on a lead at all times or else it is a danger to others.

OP posts:
Rainbow1378 · 10/12/2020 21:19

If your DH sneezes, LTB

If your cat goes outside, LTB

If work stresses you out, LTB

If your next door neighbour forgets to give you your package, LTB

If your DH apologises for all the above, you must still go to your DH and LTB

Then you must post again asking if UABU because you LTB

Then you MUST remember to warn all the MN users that you have in fact, posted before.