To be overwhelmed at this level of extended breastfeeding?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I belong to a FB group for extended breast feeders (from when I was breastfeeding my 3 year old) and a thread just popped up on my newsfeed where a woman was celebrating her daughter’s 6th birthday and saying how she still breast fed her.

As I read the comments they were all lovely and supportive and other women came forward saying they were still feeding their 8, 9, 10 year olds (and some even older).

I won’t lie - I was surprised that breastfeeding continued for that length of time in some families, not that there’s any specific reason why it shouldn’t, but I was genuinely taken aback. I was a bit in awe really of the women who were continuing despite probably feeling it was viewed as something they ‘shouldn’t’ be doing.

When I was breastfeeding my 3 year old my husband would make the odd comment about our son “being too old for that now” so I can’t imagine what he’d have thought if I’d carried on for much longer. I suppose that’s due to the UK’s societal and cultural attitudes towards extended breastfeeding though.

AIBU to be so astonished by this?

Does anyone know anyone who has breastfed for that long or done it themselves?

I would love to understand the reality of it, and learn about the emotions/reasons behind it, and especially how the mothers cope with any negative attitudes they face - of which I imagine most sadly do.

I have no experience of this as my little one is still under one but this made me think of a beautiful article I read about breastfeeding in Mongolia where the cultural norm is completely different to the UK.
Article link

I honestly thought children self weaned when their adult teeth came in. So 6 seems ok, but by 8 they surely have the wrong teeth!
I didn't let my eldest self wean, I struggled with a 2 year old and a baby, as they don't have the same strength of suck. So I weaned her.
My little one wasn't at all bothered about milk so weaned him young (by extended standards, not normal British standards).

I got to 5 and a half with DD2. It just tailed off naturally. It was easy after she was night weaned at 2 years old. Everything is easier with a full night's sleep!

Imo it's just wrong to be breastfeeding an 8+ year old.

If a child can remember being breastfed in later life then it's fucking weird.

Breastfeeding a 10 year old? Surely not?

Many experts on the subject agree that an estimation of natural term weaning for our species to be between about 3 and 7 years old. This is normal for many cultures and as a PP said, in other cultures even longer than this is the accepted norm. Personally my children weaned at about 2 years, when I was pregnant with the next.

I absolutely love that article about Mongolia, and am at the work colleagues nicking the breast milk from the fridge.

I've fed both of mine into toddlerhood - still going with my two year old, and I'd count myself as fairly confident about it all, and I don't really care what anyone says about it-but the thought of feeding a primary aged child, oh gosh no, that's not for me I'm drained as it is

@Hilda40

If a child can remember being breastfed in later life then it's fucking weird.

This ^

@Hilda40

If a child can remember being breastfed in later life then it's fucking weird.

This!

Breastfeeding at 10 is a bit much. The following year they are in secondary school. Can you imagine discussing it with friends?

I fed my twins until 2 yrs and that was enough for me. They used to play around and half assed feed which meant I was sore and stressed. I have no desire to feed later than that this time round either.

I think it's each to their own. Comparing to other cultures who breastfeed to late childhood is wrong - our societies are so different. Often we compare with an insinuation that were not as good because we don't breastfeed for as long when in reality who's to say either is "right".

Most kids would struggle to latch with 'adult' teeth

My 17 yo can remember breast feeding as she was 3 1/2. It's not "weird". Giving babies the milk of another animal, is weird. If you think about it.

That article was great

@Hilda40

If a child can remember being breastfed in later life then it's fucking weird.

Why? Is it also weird if they can remember being bottle fed?

Watching with interest

If mum is happy and the child is happy then it's none of my business, but I would find it unusual where children are of an age to have lost their milk teeth.

Whilst 8/10 year old is past even the biological expected window, I do find attitudes to breastfeeding in the UK to be a bit backwards in places. For example, the assumptions seems to he that everyone will attempt breastfeeding, but that feeding past 6 months is unusual and feeding a toddler is branded odd or weird. I hate hearing things like 'they are only doing it for their benefit' regarding extended feeding, as if mums who feed past 1 really love the nipple pinches, acrobatics, fussy latches that breastfeeding a toddler brings.

Children will generally self wean between 3 and 6, as has been said.
A MNer was once on television putting the dreadful Dr Hilary right when he showed his ignorance about full term breastfeeding. I wonder if she's still around.
Mind you, MN was a very different place then.

@popgoeshertail

I have no experience of this as my little one is still under one but this made me think of a beautiful article I read about breastfeeding in Mongolia where the cultural norm is completely different to the UK. Article link

It certainly does appear to be completely different. I wouldn't wrap my baby up with string like that for 3 months either.

Their culture is SO different that it's like comparing apples with pears. For many working mums, or mums with multiple responsibilities, being on hand to breastfeed at the mere hint of dissatisfaction from a child is just not possible like they seem to do in Mongolia. Also there's a lack of appreciation for what extended sleepless nights do to parents.

Then there's other issues. I'm assuming they cosleep? So what are SIDS risks? What is thought of those women who don't want to or can't breastfeed at all or beyond infanthood?

I'm part of a gentle parenting group and I see A LOT of parents on their knees into toddlerhood and beyond because their kids won't sleep through the night. Invariably many have coslept and the children can't manage a full night in their own bed and are still feeding to sleep. I couldn't do that, my mental health just couldn't do it.

I'm quite surprised at a 10 year old, mostly because I thought kids lost the ability to latch on when their adult teeth come in. I fed DS to 2, and still going with 16 month DD, but can't imagine still going with a school age child.

I have a few friends who have fed until their kids self wean, average age for them was 4-5. I imagine even in extended breastfeeding circles, 8+ unusual.

Dunno about leaving hubby a bowl of breast milk

He's not tigger

That article about Mongolia was brilliant. A complete surprise to me!

There are no words for SIDS in many cultures similar to the one described in the article.
There are some interesting studies going on (not just now but decades ago) showing that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS (when done correctly of course) as it's thought that SIDS might happen in some cases because babies literally forget to breathe and proximity to the mother's heartbeat helps hardwire them to breathe.

I think we're in the same group! I was at some of the ages. But then I never expected to still be breastfeeding at 2, so who knows really! My cousin said to me, no one decided to feed a child. You decide to feed your baby but they never stop being your baby!