To be overwhelmed at this level of extended breastfeeding?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I belong to a FB group for extended breast feeders (from when I was breastfeeding my 3 year old) and a thread just popped up on my newsfeed where a woman was celebrating her daughter’s 6th birthday and saying how she still breast fed her.

As I read the comments they were all lovely and supportive and other women came forward saying they were still feeding their 8, 9, 10 year olds (and some even older).

I won’t lie - I was surprised that breastfeeding continued for that length of time in some families, not that there’s any specific reason why it shouldn’t, but I was genuinely taken aback. I was a bit in awe really of the women who were continuing despite probably feeling it was viewed as something they ‘shouldn’t’ be doing.

When I was breastfeeding my 3 year old my husband would make the odd comment about our son “being too old for that now” so I can’t imagine what he’d have thought if I’d carried on for much longer. I suppose that’s due to the UK’s societal and cultural attitudes towards extended breastfeeding though.

AIBU to be so astonished by this?

Does anyone know anyone who has breastfed for that long or done it themselves?

I would love to understand the reality of it, and learn about the emotions/reasons behind it, and especially how the mothers cope with any negative attitudes they face - of which I imagine most sadly do.

So it does happen both ways. Some people will always find a way to shit on someone else whether it is breast feeding, formula feeding, baby led weaning, purees, co-sleeping and on and on. A little more kindness and acceptance in the world wouldn't go amiss.

Absolutely right. I'm very sorry you had to stop feeding before you wanted to, and even more sorry people were hateful about it. We women and especially we mothers are damned if we do and damned if we don't most of the time, it's misogyny whichever way round it goes and it sucks.

Self weaning is a lovely concept but surely it would be detrimental to their teeth to be frequently feeding once adult teeth are cut around age 6, it's very high in sugar.

@TheSilentStars

Exactly what we were told 22 years ago. We coslept with ours and were told it was safer (assuming no drugs, alcohol, medical condition that contraindicates)

@GeorgiaGirl52

^
When my daughter was 9 years old, she was in a ballet class. The mothers waited together in a side room. One of the mothers with a daughter in the class brought her six-year-old daughter and two-year-old son along with her and breast-fed both of them in the middle of the group of mothers and younger children.
Someone called Child Protective Services and reported her for child abuse and exhibitionism. Don't know what happened because the child was withdrawn from dance and the mother never came back.^

That is SO sad.

Someone called Child Protective Services and reported her for child abuse and exhibitionism.

What the actual fuck? Why would someone do that?

@TheKeatingFive I was trying to quote an earlier post and failed miserably! Isn't that just the most horrible thing? I can't imagine how that poor Mother felt.

@SomewhereEast

But as those who bf as long as their child wants to are so often pilloried as sick, depraved, mentally ill or borderline perverts, it bears reminding that this is actually totally normal for mammals, primates and indeed large numbers of human beings the world over. It's only in westernised societies that it's seen as abnormal. So if natural isn't the right word to use in defense, it's hard to think of a better one

Though I wonder how much EBFing in some less westernised societies also relates to food insecurity or lack of access to contraception (not that the tendency of BFing to delay menstruation is a reliable option - but its better than nothing!), which aren't really issues for us. Also I'm guessing there are very different attitudes to individual bodily autonomy and the role of fathers at play. I know I stopped BFing around the 13 month mark partly because I wanted my body back, and partly because DS1 was a horror sleeper & we as parents wanted to share the sleeping & settling load evenly. Personally I'm very glad to live in culture where I was allowed to want those things and to act on them, and I'm not overly fussed that very different - and often very patriarchal - cultures do very different things.

Do you think women breastfeed longer in those cultures because that's what men want?

@movingonup20

Self weaning is a lovely concept but surely it would be detrimental to their teeth to be frequently feeding once adult teeth are cut around age 6, it's very high in sugar.

It can be, but most children aren't feeding frequently at age 6.

@movingonup20

Self weaning is a lovely concept but surely it would be detrimental to their teeth to be frequently feeding once adult teeth are cut around age 6, it's very high in sugar.

As stated above, it's quite unlikely that an older child will be breastfeeding "frequently" and of course dental hygiene is very important, but breastmilk is not just sugar.

"Until relatively recently, the only studies that had been done were on the effects of lactose (milk sugar, which breastmilk does contain) on teeth, not the effects of complete breastmilk with all its components. Breastmilk also contains lactoferrin, a component in breastmilk that actually kills strep mutans (the bacteria that causes tooth decay)."

kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/tooth-decay/

So it's important to look at the whole picture.

@Countdowntonothing

And also, the position of the nipple is the mouth is such that breastmilk shouldn't really touch the teeth. Milk doesn't pool in the mouth the same way drinks from a cup/bottle do. Obviously not foolproof but generally.

This. Which is also why teeth in general shouldn't make a difference. That's as long as their latch is good. (And some will purposely use you as a teether occasionally which is different )