To be overwhelmed at this level of extended breastfeeding?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I belong to a FB group for extended breast feeders (from when I was breastfeeding my 3 year old) and a thread just popped up on my newsfeed where a woman was celebrating her daughter’s 6th birthday and saying how she still breast fed her.

As I read the comments they were all lovely and supportive and other women came forward saying they were still feeding their 8, 9, 10 year olds (and some even older).

I won’t lie - I was surprised that breastfeeding continued for that length of time in some families, not that there’s any specific reason why it shouldn’t, but I was genuinely taken aback. I was a bit in awe really of the women who were continuing despite probably feeling it was viewed as something they ‘shouldn’t’ be doing.

When I was breastfeeding my 3 year old my husband would make the odd comment about our son “being too old for that now” so I can’t imagine what he’d have thought if I’d carried on for much longer. I suppose that’s due to the UK’s societal and cultural attitudes towards extended breastfeeding though.

AIBU to be so astonished by this?

Does anyone know anyone who has breastfed for that long or done it themselves?

I would love to understand the reality of it, and learn about the emotions/reasons behind it, and especially how the mothers cope with any negative attitudes they face - of which I imagine most sadly do.

I am still waiting to see the medical evidence about the physical benefit of breastfeeding a 5 year old

Do you only eat or drink things that have ‘physical benefits.’?

I maintain that if you breastfeeding your 3, 4 or 5 year old, it's entirely for yourself.

This is a totally nonsensical position that you’re trotting out because you can’t actually articulate your problem with it.

The World Health Organisation has plenty of published papers on the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding beyond two years. Which is why their health experts recommend it happens "for at least two years and beyond".
The nutritional benefits are the same as for the child drinking the milk that comes from other animals, except more so.
Didn't you know that?
I thought that was basic knowledge about breastmilk. It doesn't stop being beneficial when the child hits 6months.

Obviously, as the child gets older, then it becomes a simple nutritious drink rather than a food in itself.

@NoPainNoTartine

I am still waiting to see the medical evidence about the physical benefit of breastfeeding a 5 year old...

at least in our countries with unlimited food and running water if you want to be picky.

I maintain that if you breastfeeding your 3, 4 or 5 year old, it's entirely for yourself. At least be honest about it.

My mother definitely wasn't feeding for herself, she was doing it because I was comforted by it and wanted to continue.

Then she used it as a great opportunity to teach me about consent as a young girl. If there were times she didn't want to feed me, I didn't feed. But there were times when she was available for me to do so, but when she told me to stop, I learnt to stop.

Depends what your priorities are. I breastfed for 30 months before I got fed up because it prevented me losing weight and was spoiling the look of my boobs. I doubt that mothers in third world countries care what their boobs look like.

I find this post and the same poster’s subsequent post really worrying.
there isn’t a single culture in third world countries. Even within countries there are multiple cultures, and even social classes, and people people being influenced by media etc all over the world to have beauty standards.
Yes you can get beauty treatments in third world countries
There are also people in developed countries who don’t care about a sagging boobz

Please don’t assume that all people in third world countries are inherently different to you.

Weird 🤔

Before I had DS ( just shy of a year) I told myself I'd stop when he got teeth and that would be it. I didnt really get why anyone would want to BF a baby with teeth.

Turned out I got a bottle refuser with CMPA and soya allergy so will be BF til he's at least2, if he doesnt wean himself before then as it's in the best interest for his health. Also turns out I really enjoy BF and the relationship DS I have as a result. I think his allergies made me more determined to push through any hard patches where I might have thrown in the towel if he didn't gave them. I've already had comments about how he's too old to feed/when am I going to stop etc which I find sad. It's the most natural thing in the world and quite frankly, no one else business as long both mother and child are happy.

Yeah after three, maybe four at an absolute push it is just weird. I have an 8 year old who self-weaned at 15 months. She didn’t need the milk at that age, there’s no way she needs it now aged 8!

I find it weird that people in the U.K. are suggesting it isn’t weird to BF a 6 year old child. It isn’t a cultural thing here so don’t even claim that, we can barely get women to even start BFing in the first place here.

Unless it's your child, it's really not your business. It's not a problem, it's not weird, it's not dangerous. 100% of cases of children breastfeeding I believe it's because the child wants to, not just the mother, and sometimes not even the mother.

An older child breastfeeding will eat other things too- a varied diet is healthy. And of all foods included in a varied diet, what food is healthier than breast milk?
I breastfed till my child was 2, and chose to stop then. But it's not one size fits all. No single food my child has eaten since then has brought so much comfort or nutrition but the time was right for me to stop. Each to their own. I take my hat off to those who go til natural term weaning.

@Simplyunacceptable most women who feed for an extended period don't set out to do so. It just happens. You can't force a child to breastfeed so, if the child is still having breast milk at 8 then it's because they want/ need it. It can be for a myriad of reasons. I can't ever see that I would breastfeed for that long but I'm sure as hell not going to call another mother weird if that's what's right for her and her child.

@Simplyunacceptable

Yeah after three, maybe four at an absolute push it is just weird. I have an 8 year old who self-weaned at 15 months. She didn’t need the milk at that age, there’s no way she needs it now aged 8!

I find it weird that people in the U.K. are suggesting it isn’t weird to BF a 6 year old child. It isn’t a cultural thing here so don’t even claim that, we can barely get women to even start BFing in the first place here.

But how do you define need ? For pure survival? Does your child only consume things that are strictly speaking necessary?

a great opportunity to teach me about consent as a young girl.

that thread is becoming beyond weird.

I bf to 4 yr. Apparently they say in Mongolia the best wrestelers are bf to 7. TBH I think it,s not our business.

Yes you can get beauty treatments in third world countries
They’re much more expensive and not available to the majority. The majority have less access to internet and media, and less access to beauty products and surgeries, compared to Western countries. The majority also have less access to medical treatment and clean water. If water is unsafe and there’s less vanity about the physical impact of breastfeeding then it’s not surprising it’s more prevalent.

@NoPainNoTartine

when a child is old enough to ask for his food, let alone hold a spoon, then yes, it feels wrong.

🙄 my 6mo can do this..

I breast fed each of my 3 children for a year. That was more than long enough. Most people I know stopped at 6 months.
7 is definitely too old in my opinion. Sorry to offend anyone but I think 5 is also pretty odd. My 5 year old is very mature and it would seem like a really strange thing to do for such a big child.
I agree with the poster who said it's more for the mothers. I didn't enjoy breastfeeding but did it for a year anyway and then was glad to stop. Several posters here have admitted they enjoy it so perhaps want to continue.

. *It isn’t a cultural thing here so don’t even claim that, we can barely get women to even start BFing in the first place here.

Looking at other cultures helps us to understand that being a human can be performed in a range of ways though.

if the reson we don’t breastfeed much in the UK is cultural, That means the reason is not based on an intrinsic ‘X IS GOOd, Y is bad’ theory, but something changeable and adaptable (culture).

IF we want more breasteeding to take place in the UK we need to stop judging mothers who breast feed longer. It’s something that happens sometimes when breasfeeding.

my 6mo can do this..
of course they can. Isn't it great when they are so independent they can order their own food and eat by themselves when you go out 😂
By 8 months they can cook a full roast too. MN children are amazing.

My youngest still tries to get milk occasionally, but none there. A nasty infection and medication needed by me stopped her feeding. But the desire is still there. I breastfed for over 3 years.

Loved that Mongolia article! I stopped with both of mine around 7 months but wondering now if I’d have had easier, happier toddlers if I was able to breast feed longer.

I have not misunderstood.

I have gone back to look at the thread and the poster has written, “Anyone else feeding 8+ year olds?

And the replies are from women who are. Including some women who have replied to say they are still feeding their 10+ year old.

@AnnnaBananna

Yes you can get beauty treatments in third world countries They’re much more expensive and not available to the majority. The majority have less access to internet and media, and less access to beauty products and surgeries, compared to Western countries. The majority also have less access to medical treatment and clean water. If water is unsafe and there’s less vanity about the physical impact of breastfeeding then it’s not surprising it’s more prevalent.

So because beauty treatments are more expensive in 3rd world countries, you came to the conclusion that "I doubt that mothers in third world countries care what their boobs look like" You honestly can't see how insulting and condescending that statement is to mothers in 3rd world countries. You must think they're all savages walking about with their boobs out with no care for their looks, based on what the western media has shown you.

I can't imagine feeding an 8 year old personally.

It's still less weird than drinking cow lactation though.

Do you know what's weird to me - this "it's for the mother" statement. It doesn't seem to come with such scorn when mums choose NOT to breastfeed.

"Oh I hear Mary stopped breastfeeding at 6 months"
"Oh yes I know, when I hear that I always think they only do it for the mother"

What does it even mean?!

(For the record, I don't care how a mother feeds her child I just don't understand the comment when it comes to extended breastfeeding)