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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would doing this make my dd a bit spoilt?

272 replies

Maisymooster · 05/12/2020 08:28

Last night dd was out and her phone must have fallen out of her pocket. She arrived back absolutely distraught. We managed to track it on the find my I phone thing and her dad collected it from the street! It was smashed in 1 corner but now doesn't work. I haven't yet inspected it but the extra annoying thing is we were going to surprise her for Christmas with an upgrade.
So my dilemma now, do we pay for a repair or upgrade the phone now earlier than planned?
Her current phone until it smashed last night is an i phone 11 and I wanted to sell it to recoup some costs back from upgrading. So it would need fixing if I did that. But I have no idea the cost of fixing it versus what I'd get for selling it.
But if we just upgrade immediately, not only does it completely ruin the surprise on Christmas day (and her sibling would get a surprise too when she'd already had hers) It would also seem like the wrong message to send to her as she was obviously careless. Like showing her don't worry sweetie, you've smashed your phone here's a better one to replace it with! Wwyd?

OP posts:
Sparklyring · 05/12/2020 08:30

Depends how old she is?

Retiremental · 05/12/2020 08:31

Wait until Christmas.

Sexnotgender · 05/12/2020 08:31

How old is she?

Why does she need an upgrade on an iPhone 11Confused

DaisyDreaming · 05/12/2020 08:32

Is she normally careless? I bet we have all dropped or misplaced our phone at one time or another. I would find out how much the repair is and then decide

Savoretti · 05/12/2020 08:32

Mend it then sell it after Christmas

SaltyAF · 05/12/2020 08:33

Haven't you got an old phone hanging around that she can use for now?

Balaur · 05/12/2020 08:33

You're overthinking. It's not giving her the message of "it's ok sweetie here's a better phone" if you were planning on giving her a new one anyway?! Just get the old one fixed, since you were planning to sell it, then give her the new one at Christmas, no-one's surprise ruined, no-one "spoiled". You can get an iPhone screen fixed for around £25. DS has broken his twice, just accidents.

AlwaysLatte · 05/12/2020 08:33

It should still be a lovely Christmas surprise so I wouldn't let on about it yet... I would get the screen fixed and let her carry on using it till Christmas - also it would be more saleable obviously.

Brefugee · 05/12/2020 08:33

I'd wait until Christmas. Unless you know her well enough that she would be able to handle having the present now and not being disappointed at Christmas when she has no (big) present(s).

TBH i think I would see how it goes between now and Christmas without a phone. If she immediately gets a replacement she doesn't get the learning effect of how to look after things.

haven't you got any old phones lying around? we always keep one as an emergency back-up.

Christmashottubintheshed · 05/12/2020 08:34

Get it fixed as sounds like you need to if you want to sell it anyway. No need to give her the new one.

user1493494961 · 05/12/2020 08:34

I would make her wait until Christmas, I can't get past the fact she was 'distraught'.

HeyAllYouCoolCatsAndKittenz · 05/12/2020 08:34

what age is dd?

NeverTwerkNaked · 05/12/2020 08:34

An iPhone 11 and she's getting an upgrade Hmm.
Seriously that's already ridiculous

PurpleFlower1983 · 05/12/2020 08:34

Upgrading from an iPhone 11? Wow! How old is she?

GreyishDays · 05/12/2020 08:36

@user1493494961

I would make her wait until Christmas, I can't get past the fact she was 'distraught'.
What’s wrong with that? She’s broken an expensive thing that she uses a lot?
AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 05/12/2020 08:36

@user1493494961

I would make her wait until Christmas, I can't get past the fact she was 'distraught'.
I’d be pretty distraught if I lost my phone. It has loads of photographs and videos on that I would be gutted to lose.
AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 05/12/2020 08:36

Plus iPhone 11’s are bloody expensive!

Womencanlift · 05/12/2020 08:37

I don’t think getting it fixed makes her spoiled, upgrading from an 11 definitely does

sherrystrull · 05/12/2020 08:37

I think fix it and then sell as you planned.
I've accidentally smashed my phone twice and put it through the washing machine once! Each time we had it fixed. I feel so much safer with my phone. It was an accident. Talk to her how to avoid it happening again in the future.

Balaur · 05/12/2020 08:37

And here come the "an iPhone 11 wow" folks. It's irrelevant to what the OP is asking!

VashtaNerada · 05/12/2020 08:37

Do you have an old one she could have for now? And a vague “maybe in the new year we’ll see if we can afford a new one?” so Christmas is still a surprise but she isn’t devastated at having an ancient phone for now.
@user1493494961 My DD would be distraught! She uses her phone for homework, chatting to friends, games etc. It would be a big deal to lose it.

Seatime · 05/12/2020 08:37

Tell her about the new phone and discuss it with her. It will transfer your current stress on to her decision. A phone is more than an extra limb to kids these days.

PurpleFlower1983 · 05/12/2020 08:37

To answer your question though, Apple repairs are very expensive - direct through them a smashed screen alone is about £240 so not working will be more. A third party might sort it cheaper but you’ll likely be looking at at least a couple of hundred.

parrotonmyshoulder · 05/12/2020 08:38

User: I can't get past the fact she was 'distraught

Wouldn’t most people be somewhat upset if they had broken or lost something expensive or important (in this case, both)? If she’d come home laughing about losing it, that would be something not to ‘get past’.
She might have been worried about reactions, upset because she knows the value of it, disappointed and cross with herself because she wanted to use it...

TeenPlusTwenties · 05/12/2020 08:39

Although I'm with the 'why are you upgrading an iphone11 brigade' (my 16 yo will be getting a 6s) I think it depends on her age, usual carefulness & general behaviour.
If you are buying such expensive phones, don't you have insurance with them?