Would doing this make my dd a bit spoilt?

[Maisymooster]

Last night dd was out and her phone must have fallen out of her pocket. She arrived back absolutely distraught. We managed to track it on the find my I phone thing and her dad collected it from the street! It was smashed in 1 corner but now doesn't work. I haven't yet inspected it but the extra annoying thing is we were going to surprise her for Christmas with an upgrade.
So my dilemma now, do we pay for a repair or upgrade the phone now earlier than planned?
Her current phone until it smashed last night is an i phone 11 and I wanted to sell it to recoup some costs back from upgrading. So it would need fixing if I did that. But I have no idea the cost of fixing it versus what I'd get for selling it.
But if we just upgrade immediately, not only does it completely ruin the surprise on Christmas day (and her sibling would get a surprise too when she'd already had hers) It would also seem like the wrong message to send to her as she was obviously careless. Like showing her don't worry sweetie, you've smashed your phone here's a better one to replace it with! Wwyd?

Maybe we are having our legs pulled here.

@CoraPirbright

The other day (Thursday I think?) it was in the news that if everyone replaced their phones after 4 years instead of the average which is 2, we would save loads in terms of carbon emissions etc. The iPhone 11 is still really quite new! Why on earth (literally) would you be upgrading it already?

They’d want to take that up with manufacturers, not consumers. iPhones start to perform nothing like as well when they’re two years old. Built in obsolescence.

As PP said:You’re wondering if doing this would make your daughter a bit spoilt when you’re already upgrading an iPhone 11 for her? Umm, that ship has well sailed.

@TeenPlusTwenties

Codename You may be right, but she currently has a 5s, and didn't want anything much bigger as she has small hands. We suggested moving to Android OS but she didn't want to.

The iPhone se is pretty small, and only came out this year, the 8 is also small. The 6 is not being updated anymore so a lot of apps will not update either

I gave my DC one chance each with this kind of thing and then they had to pay for repairs/replacements themselves so if this is the first instance of being irresponsible I would pay for the repair if it's not then DD would need to pay to fix even if that comes from future Xmas/birthday money. I'm not terribly happy with DC having expensive things because I don't really want to have to underwrite the cost of potential problems but any insurance to cover is usually really expensive.

In your shoes OP if it's a first offence I would pay to get fixed ASAP but not give the upgrade now. If something like this has happened before I would make DD pay and if she doesn't have the money now and you have an old phone that could be used I would do that. I would ask friends or family if they have an old phone to sell or lend if you don't have one rather than give the upgrade before Christmas, it can always be sold later. People learn responsibility at various times through various situations and this is a valuable opportunity to learn. It's not about blame, accidents happen but we still have to deal with the consequences.

The cost of the item isn’t the issue though, it’s the attitude to it.

Now if this child turns out to be 7 I’ll admit I’m wrong here (it’s then about adult expectations of how much responsibility a teeny should have for items).

But there remains no difference in you deciding you would replace your child’s phone in 6-9 months relative to your income and spending limits you want to spend and op doing the same. Buying a cheap item is not a sign of good parenting any more than buying a top of the range one. The aspect of spoilt is to do with the way you teach your children to view what they have and to respect other people regardless of what they do or don’t have.

Reverse snobbery about the virtue of cheap items In providing some sort of moral superiority is as unhelpful in achieving this as materialistic views that only the most expensive items makes you worthwhile as a person. There’s no need to compare what you buy your own child EVER in a way designed to put other parents down and suggest their parenting is inferior regardless of the price point you’re purchasing at.

[quote BrumBoo]@Elfieishere, I'm not arguing that bit. You're missing the point that the old phone isn't actually old, and by entrusting it to a child, without even putting it in a case,with intention of selling it on in a year, was not a very smart thing to do in terms of an investment product.

The OP is asking if they're spoiling their child. Given the context, yes they are. Replacing a pretty much brand new phone (keeping in mind most modern phones are built to last 2-3 years minimum), even without the fact it got broken, is spoiling a child.[/quote]
Who said the phone wasn’t in a case? Iv had phones in cases and still managed to drop them and smash the corner/screen.

The phone isn’t old in terms of how long an iPhone should last but there is a newer model out so it is An older model in terms of iPhones.
If they can afford to upgrade phones and afford nice things then aslong as the child appreciates that then the child isn’t spoilt.

Considering the child was distraught by her mistake it hardly goes with the arguement she’s spoilt.

@GroundAlmonds

Maybe we are having our legs pulled here.

Maybe. Previous posts doesn't really paint a great picture. Same daughter is over spending on their Apple Pay account and getting into trouble from the bank/bailed out by the op. Now they're having a brand new phone replaced for no apparent reason other than it's new and shiny for Christmas. Mmm.

People on this thread are ridiculous. If OP can afford to give her child an iPhone 11 and is happy to do so it doesn't make her spoilt. It's none of your business what phone OP chooses to buy her child. Material possessions don't make a child spoilt, attitude does. Stop with the competitive virtue signalling, it's boring.

I'd just get it fixed but take it out of her pocket money and then wait until Christmas for the upgrade. She's probably learnt her lesson about looking after things if she was upset about it.

Fantastic cross posts above ^^^

I think I’d go to an Apple shop if you are able and see how much it is to get your Dds phone fixed. It may be similar to the cost of an upgrade. Then I’d give it to her now and get her a smaller present for Xmas - unless you have insurance in which case this is a moot point. Your dd is obviously older and will understand if she has her present in advance.

As for the comments on upgrading your Dds phone, my dd would like an upgrade but I’m buying things, which she will get more pleasure out of as I find up to date tech a waste of money. But you know your child so no judgment there....

Why isn’t she paying to fix it? My 10 and 12yo have a 6s each (they both want higher, but no way when I’ve only just got an 8 and use mine for work!!) but when my 10yo dropped his he had to pay to get his screen fixed. Part of having something ‘grown up’ is the maintaining it if you want to use it.

I would pop into a repair place today - is there one of those 'we repair phone' shops om tour highstreet? We have them om every one in London but not sure where you are? They are dingy little places, fix everything though. They will probably offer to buy it from you, but I would get it repaired by them and then they can buy it after xmas. Ps she just had an accident, we all do it, it would be wrong to punish her by not getting it fixed now, bless her x

@Balaur

And here come the "an iPhone 11 wow" folks. It's irrelevant to what the OP is asking!

It’s not though. The OP is concerned about her child being spoilt. I couldn’t give a shit if she can afford an 11 or 12 for her child. My Y7 has an 11 🤷🏻‍♀️ If she was upgrading 8 to 12, I’d also be 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I personally think that 11 to 12 is too small a jump and gives a message of chasing the latest phone, having to have the latest, in a way that I think could lead to a child being spoilt.

@BeigeFoodLover

Why isn’t she paying to fix it? My 10 and 12yo have a 6s each (they both want higher, but no way when I’ve only just got an 8 and use mine for work!!) but when my 10yo dropped his he had to pay to get his screen fixed. Part of having something ‘grown up’ is the maintaining it if you want to use it.

I would argue that buying a 10 year old a phone, then expecting him to pay for it himself when it breaks, is ridiculous. Because he isn't an adult, he is a child. You are the adult, and you should take responsibility. A phone for a 10 year old is ridiculous anyway

If they can afford to upgrade phones and afford nice things then aslong as the child appreciates that then the child isn’t spoilt.

Out of interest, how would you be teaching a child appreciation? Tell them repeatedly how lucky they are? Show them pictures of “unlucky” children with less up to date models?
Usually it’s the lack of something teaches you to appreciate what you have.

The OP asks a question. There are many replies, most of which are saying a similar thing. The OP has disappeared.

What this poster says:

Arrange to get it fixed
DD waits until this can happen
DD uses fixed phone until Christmas
DD gets new phone on Christmas Day
Sell fixed phone.

I agree with this - IF you give her the upgrade now you really will be spoiling her. Easy come easy go - is a terrible life lesson.

OP says her daughter was 'distraught' - that doesn't suggest a careless child who didn't value the phone.

@Leflic you teach it by correcting the behavior if you say no they can't have xyz and discipline them if they throw a tanturm/mood/hiss fit. This does not even need to be anything expensive and can be as cheap as a 2 quid magazine or toy

@ScrapThatThen

Well it would be ridiculous to repair a phone you are about to replace.

Not when that phone will be worth a lot of money when fixed, and OP was already intending selling it after Christmas.

@MrsGrindah

Just give it to her. Faffing around getting it fix etc is more cost. Forget they money - you have already spent it. Give it to her and say as a result there’s no big gift on Xmas day . It’s a shame but hopefully it will help her be more careful.

This.

FGS. Phone insurance.

I have an iPhone 11. When I got it I looked into phone insurance.

I have had an iPhone since a 3G. I have only ever damaged one phone and it was one that was about to be upgraded anyway. So I bought my new one, fixed the old one and sold it.

I worked out the the cost of phone insurance over 2 years would be more than the cost of a basic repair and on my user history anything other than a basic repair is unlikely.

Financially, I'm fortunate that I can afford to replace phone immediately if required. So I made the decision that phone insurance wasn't cost effective for me and I if I lose it I will curse myself for making the wrong decision and have to pay up. However if at the end of two years my current phone usage pattern continues I'm quids in and have saved around £250.

So lack of phone insurance doesn't necessarily equal poor financial planning. For me it is a calculate risk.

@NeverTwerkNaked

An iPhone 11 and she's getting an upgrade . Seriously that's already ridiculous

Exactly

She’s already spoilt if she has an iPhone 11. No need for that at all, especially when she can’t look after it properly