Would doing this make my dd a bit spoilt?

[Maisymooster]

Last night dd was out and her phone must have fallen out of her pocket. She arrived back absolutely distraught. We managed to track it on the find my I phone thing and her dad collected it from the street! It was smashed in 1 corner but now doesn't work. I haven't yet inspected it but the extra annoying thing is we were going to surprise her for Christmas with an upgrade.
So my dilemma now, do we pay for a repair or upgrade the phone now earlier than planned?
Her current phone until it smashed last night is an i phone 11 and I wanted to sell it to recoup some costs back from upgrading. So it would need fixing if I did that. But I have no idea the cost of fixing it versus what I'd get for selling it.
But if we just upgrade immediately, not only does it completely ruin the surprise on Christmas day (and her sibling would get a surprise too when she'd already had hers) It would also seem like the wrong message to send to her as she was obviously careless. Like showing her don't worry sweetie, you've smashed your phone here's a better one to replace it with! Wwyd?

I agree that you must surely have an old phone lying around somewhere? Let her use that, or get her a cheap brick to use for three weeks.

How long does it take to repair anyway? Last time I sent mine off it took a couple of weeks, and I can imagine it taking longer with Christmas/Covid etc.

So no, I don't think you should give her the new phone now.

‘Losing something ONCE doesn't make you careless’

It does when that something costs £600 minimum.

Surely it would be insured??

I’d love to know where you can get an iPhone screen repaired for £25. I need mine doing but I can’t find anywhere cheaper than £140!

Give over, a child having the latest iPhone isn't spoiled, she's just lucky to live in a family where these things can be bought. I know lovely children who are lucky enough to have expensive things and hobbies. If you are worried that your child is spoiled then she probably isn't. She was distraught about the phone - probably a good sign. If she"d thrown it down and said "It"s busted, I need a new one" then you'd have an issue!

@Retiremental

‘Losing something ONCE doesn't make you careless’

It does when that something costs £600 minimum.

No it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter how much it costs. You should take care of your possessions the same. It doesn’t matter if it cost £50 or £500.

An accident is an accident.

Where’ve you gone OP? Why aren’t you telling us how old DD is?

Calm down with the interrogation. She only posted the original question half an hour ago!

@GroundAlmonds

If you’re upgrading iPhone 11s for children , I’d stop worrying about creating spoilt little madams 😂

Yeah sounds like that ship has sailed!

If you were going to upgrade it at Christmas I’d wait until then.

@MadameMeursault

A bit spoilt? Umm, more than a bit!

Where’ve you gone OP? Why aren’t you telling us how old DD is?

The OP probably has a life outside of mumsnet. It’s been less then an hour. 🙄

It might work again once the screen is fixed. I would try to find a local repair shop as it won’t be as expensive as Apple. If you’re getting it fixed to sell do it now and at least she’ll have a phone till Christmas. They can usually fix it in a few hours.

Get her phone fixed. The inconvenience of not having a phone for a few days will encourage her to take more care of it.

Accidents happen, mine take care of things but sometimes things d happen occasionally with both adults and children.

I’d fix it for her but I wouldn’t have bought a Christmas gift that meant she had to give up something she already owned unless that was agreed. A gift shouldn’t be conditional.

@Santaisironingwrappingpaper

Surely it would be insured??

I have a IPhone 12, my partner has a IPhone 11 Pro Max and my daughter has a IPhone XS.

Non of our phones are insured.

I wouldn’t give her the new phone until the day itself. However, when my teenager broke her phone screen for the 2nd time she had to pay for the repairs herself out of her pocket money, which she did (after a bit of whinging). Is that an option for your daughter if she gets pocket money?

I don't think she is spoiled for having an iPhone 11 if that's what your family can afford or prioritises. I think she is spoiled if she is entirely protected from the consequences of her mistake because bringing up teens is about giving them the resilience and skills to ride out the problems and mishaps. (Im assuming she is a teen to have an iPhone 11). If you use your money to make it absolutely alright for her with no inconvenience, discomfort or annoyance at all for her you are spoiling her. The phone may be salvegable - can she research this and try out any ideas. Do you have or can you borrow an old phone that she can use for basic phone calls and texts until Christmas?

@lurch3r

Give over, a child having the latest iPhone isn't spoiled,

She already had the latest iPhone, contracts are usually 2 years long. Upgrading as soon as the very most brand new one is out for a child is spoiling them. It shows that expensive items are easily disposable, which may be fine if your parents are buying it for you but a hard lesson later in life when you cant afford to do the same. They also lose understanding of value and actual cost of things.

she's just lucky to live in a family where these things can be bought.

Well possibly, but if it was so affordable to the op why did they need the old phone back in good condition to sell on and 'pay' for the new one? It suggests that it's not that affordable for them.

I can't believe you never thought to insure this phone 🙈. I know that's unhelpful, but jeez! A teenager with a really expensive phone just screams accident waiting to happen!

Does you home insurance cover the repair?

@Balaur

And here come the "an iPhone 11 wow" folks. It's irrelevant to what the OP is asking!

Not when the Op is asking about “spoilt” behaviour. Context is everything.

[quote BrumBoo]@lurch3r

Give over, a child having the latest iPhone isn't spoiled,

She already had the latest iPhone, contracts are usually 2 years long. Upgrading as soon as the very most brand new one is out for a child is spoiling them. It shows that expensive items are easily disposable, which may be fine if your parents are buying it for you but a hard lesson later in life when you cant afford to do the same. They also lose understanding of value and actual cost of things.

she's just lucky to live in a family where these things can be bought.

Well possibly, but if it was so affordable to the op why did they need the old phone back in good condition to sell on and 'pay' for the new one? It suggests that it's not that affordable for them.[/quote]
Selling the old one to make money for the new one just makes sense.
Or should they chuck it in a drawer and just leave it because selling something second hand suggests they can’t afford something new 😂

@BrumBoo I have to disagree with you there. Having expensive items that are nice does not directly make a person spoiled. What does make a person spoiled is the believe they are entitled to something just because they want it. It's a attitude not how much something costs.

DS (16) dropped his old Samsung in the toilet last week. Despite putting it in rice, the touch screen isn’t working.

Since I already replaced a Dropped iPad as his Christmas present (which won’t arrive in time for Christmas) he will need to pay for this one himself (he wants to replace it with a newer Samsung model, from CEX or similar). In the meantime he is using my old iPhone 5c with 8gb memory which is creaking, but it makes calls/does texts..........

Well possibly, but if it was so affordable to the op why did they need the old phone back in good condition to sell on and 'pay' for the new one? It suggests that it's not that affordable for them

There's a huge difference between 'need' and sensible use of, money. An iPhone 11 is worth hundreds of pounds, surely just about everyone would trade it in, sell it or reuse it within the family if it was being upgraded?

@Elfieishere, I'm not arguing that bit. You're missing the point that the old phone isn't actually old, and by entrusting it to a child, without even putting it in a case,with intention of selling it on in a year, was not a very smart thing to do in terms of an investment product.

The OP is asking if they're spoiling their child. Given the context, yes they are. Replacing a pretty much brand new phone (keeping in mind most modern phones are built to last 2-3 years minimum), even without the fact it got broken, is spoiling a child.

Is this a wind up thread? It just comes across that way as the IP casually mentioned upgrading the iPhone 11 then waits for lots of foaming about how expensive that is let alone an upgrade.
If it’s genuine, then I’d make her wait 3wks. She’ll be home from school after 2wks and you can limit her time out of the house if you’re worried about not being able to track her. That short burst without it may focus her mind and make her take better care of the new one.