To ask for your useless DH stories?

[Bananapancakes0]

So I spent a couple of weeks making over our bathroom. Painted the tiles (it took 4 coats), the floor, the walls, put up new cabinets, towel rails and accessories.

Dh dyed his hair last night and then showered it off. He failed to notice that all the gleaming Bright white tiles were covered in dark, dark brown hair dye. I just had my shower now, pulled back the curtain and wanted to cry.

How can that not be noticed? Thankfully I was able to get it off with some flash but not before panicking about all my hard work ruined in 2 minutes flat. Just silently raging here.

Please make me feel better with your equally incompetent stories. I hate having to be the 'man' and the woman, it's like having an extra child.

Its not really an aibu just shamelessly posting for traffic.

I'm not even going there OP it will stress me out and i'll get the rage which will keep me awake all night.
This type of thing is pretty much why I am permanently single now.

I don’t have any stories because I’m not married to man-baby.

Why on Earth were you the one scrubbing it off when it was his hair dye that stained it? Clearing up after him means he never learns to be more careful.

My DH isn't useless.

Why on Earth were you the one scrubbing it off when it was his hair dye that stained it? Clearing up after him means he never learns to be more careful.

This in spades.

Why on earth would you clean up after him and say nothing? My partner isn't useless...because I wouldn't put up with such behaviour

Why on earth did you clean it off? He should have been the one to do it!

Opposite in my house. Dh spent weeks doing our bathroom. Had to rebuild stud walls and floor because of a leak, tiled, painted, fitted new suite. Beautiful!!

2 days after he finished, I coloured my hair red at bathroom sink like normal. Turns out new sink was not porcelain, but was porous. Lovely blood red splooges that no amount of bleach, baking soda and the other 90 things I used would get it out! Looked like a massacre for months until it slowly slowly faded away.

Did I learn my lesson? Sort of. I now use the kitchen sink, where now, unfortunately, the white window frame and grouting at the back of sink is now covered in big red splooges.

I agree i enabled him there, but I've put too much time and effort into it to have him fucking up the cleaning side of things too. I've not used anything harsh on them yet so they could properly cure. Just urgh.
I have no idea, it was all fun and games til our 2 babies came along and now his short comings are more obvious because I don't have the time, energy or patience to cover for him.

Just, no

@Bananapancakes0, if you told him to come back and bloody well clean it, what would he do?

Spent a weekend painting the bathroom, DP was away but came home unexpectedly early while I was asleep and took a shower. Failed to notice the wet paint (or painting equipment right outside the bathroom). The paint wasn't dry yet so peeled and bubbled. Couldn't bring myself to repaint so it stayed like that until the house was sold

About two weeks ago DH told me a bottle of oil had leaked in the boot of the Landrover. (Rubber mat flooring so not a huge deal)
"Oh dear" I said.

He came home the other day and I said to him, "Phew! You stink of oil! Did you put your bag in the boot or something?!"

He said, "Well, yeah. I thought that was all sorted now"

I asked if he'd managed to get all the oil off (as obviously it must still smell of oil) and he looked at me all puzzled.

He had assumed I had cleaned it. I have no idea why he assumed I would. He noticed it. So I asked if he had noticed all the oil when he put his bag down in there and he told me he had.

He had noticed oil and still put his bag on it. Seriously.

@JamieLeeCurtains yeah he would have done it without grumbling and probably have been apologetic, but it's more the fact it happened in the first place.

If I don't explicitly break things down then all I'll get is oh sorry I didn't know. And when I do tell him how to do something it's 'you're talking down to me'.

I think I'm just fed up atm, every bit of furniture in the house is what I've built, every painted wall is what I've done. Christ, I asked him to blow up balloons for DDs first birthday and he couldn't.

I think mines defective. Is there a return policy? I know he loves us but just the incompetence irritates the fuck out of me

So many and I'm ashamed to say a bit like OP I have been enabling it to the point where he is puzzled now but I
Just no longer have the time or energy to put up with his shit.
Painting a room without covering or moving things
Moving a side table to a place directly in his path then knocking the whole thing off with his leg- bottle of red wine and all- literally moved the table to be closer before putting his leg on the sofa and then swung right into it. Couldn't understand why I was cross. Idiot

...why would you marry a man like that!? Why would you raise children with a man like that!? If a previously competent man suddenly turned into a man like that, why wouldn't you suggest he saw a GP about sudden personality changes!?

That sounds exhausting.

I have to ask for things to be done. Not everything and that's why I'm still here as he will empty dishwasher and load washer etc but puts the wash powder in the conditioner slot , or fills it so full it doesn't wash, or puts chopping boards (thin plastic ones) literally face to face with each other so they come out the same way they went in as no water can get between them. He doesn't learn from this. That's why it's irritating.

No definitely not previously competent, I just enjoyed doing all that side of things prior to kids, and I still do, however I don't enjoy being married to someone that needs supervision. It's not an equal partnership in that sense.
However, he has a good job and works really hard in a role that requires a lot of problem solving, working with public and adhering to laws. Yet at home I'm the boss and manager of everything.

OP want me to move in? I can assemble furniture and paint and cook?

OP I don't mean to alarm you but I think you've actually married a banana pancake. Give him a kick up the arse and tell him he's got to learn some adult human skills.

Ladies, your stories make me laugh. He's sitting next to me thinking I'm chuckling at only fools and horses. Poor sod.

@BestestBrownies

Why on Earth were you the one scrubbing it off when it was his hair dye that stained it? Clearing up after him means he never learns to be more careful.

This in spades.

This

I had the opposite... My ex DH was very good at DIY, he really was amazing... Remodelling 2 houses, very high standard etc... I did a lot to help, then when we had children I did the helping with DIY, the cooking, cleaning, house management, childcare, driving, bills, a full time job..he still just did DIY. Oh and the bins.
When we finally went to counselling, he said he didn't know how to do all that stuff, as no one had ever taught him. I'd given him lists, clear instructions, told him I was drowning and overwhelmed... He sat here, useless. Couldn't even comfort me or step up to do his bit.

Resentment builds up and before you know it you're giving them the finger behind their back daily. Wee been split up since early this year.. I'm still finishing and fixing all the jobs he left... Its bloody hard and overwhelming and I'm skint but wow it feels good not to have anyone to rely on who you can't rely on 😂

@Bananapancakes0

No definitely not previously competent, I just enjoyed doing all that side of things prior to kids, and I still do, however I don't enjoy being married to someone that needs supervision. It's not an equal partnership in that sense. However, he has a good job and works really hard in a role that requires a lot of problem solving, working with public and adhering to laws. Yet at home I'm the boss and manager of everything.

How can you possibly respect a man like that?

Mine runs baths with the bathmat still hanging over the side. He does this ALL.THE.TIME.