Page 4 | To ask for your useless DH stories?

Bananapancakes0 · 2020-12-02T19:22:11+00:00

So I spent a couple of weeks making over our bathroom. Painted the tiles (it took 4 coats), the floor, the walls, put up new cabinets, towel rails and accessories. Dh dyed his hair last night and then showered it off. He failed to notice that all the gleaming Bright white tiles were covered in dark, dark brown hair dye. I just had my shower now, pulled back the curtain and wanted to cry. How can that not be noticed? Thankfully I was able to get it off with some flash but not before panicking about all my hard work ruined in 2 minutes flat. Just silently raging here. Please make me feel better with your equally incompetent stories. I hate having to be the 'man' and the woman, it's like having an extra child. Its not really an aibu just shamelessly posting for traffic.

yelyah22 · 02/12/2020 22:22

I don't know what's more depressing, that society lets men think they can get away with this or women thinking they have to let them.

My OH isn't perfect but neither am I. We both have things we're domestically challenged at/blind to, but we balance out. It's a partnership, I'm not a fucking au pair.

Frankola · 02/12/2020 22:27

My Dh is very handy usually but he HATES bleach. The smell makes him nauseous.

Last week he came into the kitchen and said "that downstairs toilet needs a good bleaching"...clearly expecting me to do it.

He got a total bollocking for not bothering to do it himself if it was annoying him so much lol

Thewithesarehere · 02/12/2020 22:28

@Soandsoandso

I wouldn't throw a marriage away for the sake of a man not having full brains at home if he is hard working, providing and a good father at the very least... not every man is born with all sets of amazing skills there's ought to be shortfalls somewhere.

Good for you

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 02/12/2020 23:32

@HappygoLucie

OP I don't mean to alarm you but I think you've actually married a banana pancake. Give him a kick up the arse and tell him he's got to learn some adult human skills.

Why did I laugh so much at this. 🤣🤣🤣

ViciousJackdaw · 02/12/2020 23:37

@ssd

Can you imagine a man starting a thread about useless wife stories here, he'd get absolutely shot down in flames.

Indeed he would. If he started it somewhere like Pistonheads, they'd all be chiming in.

Nipoleon · 03/12/2020 02:23

Those who haven't experienced a useless DP/DH just won't get how stressful it is! Those suggesting double standards if men posted about useless women...I think, particularly where kids are involved, most women step up but not most men. Lots of men yes, but a sizable minority just don't step up. It's reality.

FunkBus · 03/12/2020 02:31

"Men are weird! They don’t notice stuff, just like they can’t do two things at once. I also think mum’s spoil son’s more. They’re lazy not incapable!"

When men are shit, it's still somehow a woman's fault?

Many men do notice stuff and they are perfectly able to do two things at once. Just a lot of women are married to lazy little babies.

What happens when a woman dies and her husband is left with the kids and house to deal with? I suppose he marries someone else to take care of everything (then she is the evil stepmum because she actually dares to discipline the kids every once in a while.)

I couldn't in good faith have children with a man like this. I would be terrified to leave them in the house alone with him and that's no way to live.

katy1213 · 03/12/2020 02:36

I suppose I'm old-fashioned - but a man who dyes his hair!

mrsnoodle55 · 03/12/2020 03:12

Mine was tasked last night to do tooth fairy duty; I work nights and I even texted him from work to remind him. Seems he did remember to put the £1 under the pillow, but forgot to take the tooth, so DD found them both still there this morning.

Not important really, but just a snapshot of multiple completely avoidable incompetencies which seem to befall him. It’s hard work.

Ohalrightthen · 03/12/2020 06:53

@Nipoleon

Those who haven't experienced a useless DP/DH just won't get how stressful it is! Those suggesting double standards if men posted about useless women...I think, particularly where kids are involved, most women step up but not most men. Lots of men yes, but a sizable minority just don't step up. It's reality.

Surely though it stands to reason that if a man is useless to start with, he won't miraculously improve when he has kids? Women seriously need to raise their standards before procreating.

lighlypoached · 03/12/2020 07:06

@Charmatt glad you are on the mend

Heatherjayne1972 · 03/12/2020 07:10

I divorced one of those. ( he was a violent bully too. But that’s another thread)
We didn’t live together before we got married
And he genuinely believed it ‘wasn’t his job’ to do housework - it’s ‘women’s work’

So since someone’s got to do it - I did
Until I got fed up and stopped doing it all
Which he then used against me in the divorce
He actually said one of the reasons we split was because HJ ‘never did housework’ !!

Hangingover · 03/12/2020 07:19

My DP is lovely but has whatever the cooking equivalent of dyslexia is. Also he's a spoony fucker. I cook, he washes up. It suits us both!!

stressfullday · 03/12/2020 07:20

@Bananapancakes0

We've been together 13 years, since we were teens so he's all I've ever known. We do get on but I know my own life would be easier if we split up. Things would just stay nice. But it's not just me, the kids love him and I know he loves us. He just hasn't grown up and has no motivation to learn new skills or even just not messing up my hard work would be a start!

I feel a bit sorry for your poor hubby op. I get the feeling that (like you) he also has to put up with a lot of drama. Maybe he feels he has settled too?

Pipandmum · 03/12/2020 07:29

My husband never touched diy thank goodness.
He was a good driver but had a real knack for banging his wing mirror. I must have taken his car in three times one year (and before someone says why didn't he take his own car in- he worked 10-12 hour days and I was a sahm). He also once got so frustrated trying to take the baby's car seat out he jammed the seat belt- back to the garage they had to take the panel out 🙄. Just not a practical guy.

Weenurse · 03/12/2020 07:56

When first married, DH decided to do the hand washing. ( he came to me straight from his Mum and Dad so never had to do washing). Mixed everything together and we ended up with grey everything.
He looked at me, all sad dog eyes, and said ‘you will never trust me to do the washing again’.
My response, ‘you just need more practice, so you can do it all from now’.
30 years on, he still reminds me to use cold water to get out blood stains.😀

ElsieMc · 03/12/2020 08:13

My dh is good at major jobs, re-roofing etc but day to day things are disastrous. I have learnt to never expect him to know......

Examples include making cheese on toast, putting cheese on the toast and putting it back in the toaster. Putting away damp bedding so it went mildewy. Did washing whilst I was at work. Grandson said to me "Nana, your jumper is really tiny now" He tumble dried my new lambswool jumper and called GS a grasser. Did not understand how to turn off the tumble dryer when I asked him this week. When the phone rings, he looks baffled and says "is that the phone" like it is a new invention.

It will not change op. I have been married 35 years.

Monkeytapper · 03/12/2020 08:16

Not my OH, but I remember my Mum telling me that when she had just given birth to me and was in hospital she hadn’t had time to organise clothes for her to come home in so she asked my Dad to grab her an outfit out of her wardrobe.......he turned up with a cocktail dress! She asked why on Earth he had picked that and he said ‘well it’s your favourite’.....so she carried me to the car looking extremely glamorous !!

AfterSchoolWorry · 03/12/2020 08:29

My DH is the same, but I think he has dyspraxia.

He tries really hard and gets frustrated with himself. Still he does so many annoying things.

I told him to put mince in the slow cooker once we've found he'd plonked out all into the Air fryer. 🤮 A congealed slab of hard mince crispy on the outside, sitting in a pool of raw juice.

He drove the car through a deep flood, wetting the interior and rusting the bottom, narrowly avoided writing the car off. His mission, to get turf for the fire. We have central heating. He still maintains he saved the day by getting turf, but almost writing off the car.

When I'm busy and overwhelmed, he gets on my way, if I give him a simple job to do to keep him busy and out of my way, he loudly narrates all the problems he's having with the (irrelevant) job I've given him to distract him. He interrupts me doing the actual important stuff with an air of great urgency and alarm and won't fuck off out of my way. 🙈

If he 'cleans the toilets' (washes the floor and squirts toilet duck down) he patrols them for hours trying to prevent us from using them. He's never actually cleaned the toilet bowl or seats or lids.

He really tries but his brain doesn't process practical things well.

When I do car maintenance or diy he quietly observes with an air of mystified reverence.

I feel so bad writing this post, I know it's not laziness or strategic incompetance with him but it still grates.

Pinkywoo · 03/12/2020 08:55

My ex was completely useless, part lazy, part no common sense and part "if I do a shit job she won't ask me again". I got home from an evening shift at midnight to find he'd dropped a massive 3l bottle of coke in the dining room which had exploded everywhere. When I asked what he'd used to clean it up (ie flash spray, soapy water etc) he looked confused and said "a towel". The whole room was covered in sticky dried on coke, window, bookcase, walls, and the useless bastard had just wiped it with a dry towel and gone back to his playstation.

I'm also confused what people are doing with hair dye to keep getting it everywhere, I've dyed my hair every colour imaginable and can count on one hand how many times I've got dye on something!

Ohalrightthen · 03/12/2020 09:08

@Monkeytapper

Not my OH, but I remember my Mum telling me that when she had just given birth to me and was in hospital she hadn’t had time to organise clothes for her to come home in so she asked my Dad to grab her an outfit out of her wardrobe.......he turned up with a cocktail dress! She asked why on Earth he had picked that and he said ‘well it’s your favourite’.....so she carried me to the car looking extremely glamorous !!

I have to say, that is actually kinda lovely. It's the opposite of when i asked my husband to get me some handcream for Christmas because my skin was really suffering - he asked the lady in the shop what was best for really dry, sore hands, and i ended up with a tube of E45.

Fivebyfive2 · 03/12/2020 09:24

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel, omg my dh did something very similar when we were dating! We were cooking pasta and as I was getting the plates out I said 'can you do the draining?' I turn around just in time to stop him draining the meat and sauce pot instead of the pasta!! The look in his face when he realised!!

Also, when we first moved out together at 18, we had this tiny, crappy flat and I took my beloved hamster with us from my parents house. One night after cleaning the cage out I said to him 'I'm having a shower, can you hoover please? ' Anyway I come out the bathroom, look around the living room (I cannot stress enough how tiny the floor space was) and I say 'have you just hoovered the bit around the hamster cage?' and he just looked and said 'well you didn't say to do The Whole room' 🤯

Oh and he also once went camping with friends while I was at my parents for the night. About 8pm I get a call, from the police. They'd loaded the car in the pouring rain and somehow he'd basically gone off without going back to lock, or even close, the door. He had driven off with our front door left wide open. And on the living room table he had left his phone, a bank card and some letters with our details on. I had to call his friend to get hold of him. I remember my mum literally saying 'I know he is a nice lad and you love each other, but are you sure this is a good idea'... We've been together 12 years, married for 8 and now have a 1 year old. God help me 😂

Squidwitch · 03/12/2020 09:25

Love the cocktail dress! The father of my eldest child brought me some clothes to go home from hospital in too.. so I wore a skirt, a bloodstained nightshirt I gave birth in four days previous, and a tweed blazer. I looked so good on that all important walk out with a newborn

WoolieLiberal · 03/12/2020 09:29

I think a lot depends on what they grew up with.

DH had both parents working so both did housework so he’s always been a mucker-in.

Doesn’t always get it right, but then neither do I, frankly.

Difference is I will pull him up on it whereas he won’t pull me up if I get it wrong but will correct it/ do it again without telling me.

Have I married a subservient dweeb?

MIL is a very strong character (opinionated and right wing). FIL is very easy going (anything for a quiet life) but left wing.

peachescariad · 03/12/2020 09:32

Too many to list....there are literally 100s, the years of 'I forgot', the laziness, the not noticing stuff dropped on the floor, inability to carry out simple tasks again and again (washing machine), incompetent, stupid, annoying, irritating, unintelligent....he's a twat, I detest him and can't wait to separate once kids have left home and I can sell up and retire away from him.