To ask for your useless DH stories?

[Bananapancakes0]

So I spent a couple of weeks making over our bathroom. Painted the tiles (it took 4 coats), the floor, the walls, put up new cabinets, towel rails and accessories.

Dh dyed his hair last night and then showered it off. He failed to notice that all the gleaming Bright white tiles were covered in dark, dark brown hair dye. I just had my shower now, pulled back the curtain and wanted to cry.

How can that not be noticed? Thankfully I was able to get it off with some flash but not before panicking about all my hard work ruined in 2 minutes flat. Just silently raging here.

Please make me feel better with your equally incompetent stories. I hate having to be the 'man' and the woman, it's like having an extra child.

Its not really an aibu just shamelessly posting for traffic.

My DP makes mistakes sometimes.......same as I do. It doesn't make either of us 'useless'.

I hate threads like this tbh, I think they're really twatty. I'd be having firm words with my dp if I fucked up and.i found out he was slating me to a load of random women online.

Another time I was going on a trip and had bought a new expensive mirror. I left it propped on the shelf in the bathroom, expecting he would bang a nail into the wall and hang it up. Instead he just put it on the floor next to the sink so by the time I got back it was all splashed and rusted up. I could have cried.

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo That's good for you and I'm glad you have a balanced relationship, but some men ARE useless and that's why many of us are no longer with them. Chatting about it helps dispel a lot of the rage and disappointment.

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo I agree, I'm usually a kind and patient person. I'm just worn down and frustrated tonight. It's hard when it feels like a recurring theme in my life.

DH probably has some stories about me doing DIY half heartedly. The only thing I've got on him is that he is utterly incapable of putting his clothes in the washing basket. My solution now is that we have a basket just for him for clothes that DONT want washing, otherwise he puts them on the floor and I fall over them. Any clothes left on the floor go in this basket and dont get washed. This way he has learned to put some clothes in the washing basket and any he doesn't are out of the way so its not my problem.

Can you imagine a man starting a thread about useless wife stories here, he'd get absolutely shot down in flames.

Exactly.

@BrassyLocks

For DS fifth birthday party I organised (and paid for) absolutely everything. So he wouldn't feel completely useless I asked DH to get the balloons. Even had to send him the link to the ones he was to buy online. Night before the party I ask where the balloons are. He forgot. So I told him to go to the shop and get some plain blue ones. He came back with blue balloons with white ribbons and 'Christening' written all over them. I was so mad, I yelled and he refused to go back claiming the shop didn't have any plain blue ones. So I had to go...and guess what? They had heaps of plain blue balloons . He then said oh yeah there were but they were £1 each so he didn't buy them. In fact they were £1 for 6. But he insists the shopkeeper told him the wrong price...even though the price was also written on the shelf

That really is Olympic-level incompetence. Bloody hell.

As the "useless" half of my relationship I feel I need to point out that the issue here isn't uselessness but unequal partnerships!

DP could fill this thread with stories about me but what I lack in practicality I hope I make up for in other areas.

My dh was on the phone to me asking how long he needed to cook something. ‘I’m not sure as I’m driving and cannot see the packet that’s in your hand.’

Tbf if my ex started a thread on here about how I find it difficult to use the petrol mower he insisted on due to the early arthritis in my hands (which I had mentioned at the time), or my lacklustre enthusiasm of unblocking the bathroom sink of his beard hair (yet again) then hey ho! he could crack on! 😂 But to be honest in my own humble opinion it's a bit of an embarrassment to get to 40 without knowing how to use a washing machine (with labels), how to fold washing, and learn the mystical art of unfolding an ironing board... Because 'my mam always did it' 🙄.

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo

My DP makes mistakes sometimes.......same as I do. It doesn't make either of us 'useless'.

I hate threads like this tbh, I think they're really twatty. I'd be having firm words with my dp if I fucked up and.i found out he was slating me to a load of random women online.

But occasionally making mistakes equally is clearly not what op is talking about. Purposely misunderstanding the thread is what is twatty. Op is clearly married to a man child.

Men are weird! They don’t notice stuff, just like they can’t do two things at once. I also think mum’s spoil son’s more. They’re lazy not incapable!

Not exactly useless (in many ways he is above what appears to be average) but

H has a pile of clothes at the bottom of his wardrobe that are his Painty Clothes.

The reason he has so many is that whenever he needs to paint or do something oily he doesn't bother getting changed because "I'll be careful, it's only a little bit"

One summer we visited his mum and he wore his brand-new shorts to varnish the outside of a window. Oh what a surprise: pale beige shorts are now flecked with dark brown varnish (which does not come out in the wash sweetie, no, not even with stain remover).

The piece de resistance : the next day he wore the second pair of brand-new beige shorts - because the other ones were dirty - and put the second coat of varnish on the window.

I’ll out myself if I post some of my anecdotes and then I’ll have to name change again.

The biggest incident involved a pot of paint and carpet had to be replaced. And that was meant to be a nice surprise for me upon my return from travel abroad. That was 17 years ago and he’s only just this year told me, that he was covering for his Brother (I’m not convinced)!

He’s improved over the years and now knows to stick at what he’s good at. He knows he has to clear up his own mess.
The lazy “But, you’re better at it than me” line does not work with me. Keep asking them to complete the same tasks and they’ll eventually do it properly. It also works on children. If they complain and moan, tell them you won’t do anything for them until they do it.

Luckily, he’s good at a lot of other things and is happy to pay for professionals to complete jobs in and around the house.

I’ve had to recently ban him from using hair dye at home, telling him to get his beard dyed at the Barbers. Bloody lockdowns 🙄

@merryhouse

Not exactly useless (in many ways he is above what appears to be average) but

H has a pile of clothes at the bottom of his wardrobe that are his Painty Clothes.

The reason he has so many is that whenever he needs to paint or do something oily he doesn't bother getting changed because "I'll be careful, it's only a little bit"

One summer we visited his mum and he wore his brand-new shorts to varnish the outside of a window. Oh what a surprise: pale beige shorts are now flecked with dark brown varnish (which does not come out in the wash sweetie, no, not even with stain remover).

The piece de resistance : the next day he wore the second pair of brand-new beige shorts - because the other ones were dirty - and put the second coat of varnish on the window.

I think I may be your husband

Mine never ever manages to bring the milk right in and put it away. Sometimes it makes it to the hall or kitchen but never the fridge. He brought it in from outside this morning but left it on the inside step up from the porch into the hall. We have a cat who tears around like a mad thing as well as a child. Said child went to get her bag from her hook in the porch and somehow managed to bump against the milk, knocked a bottle off into the porch floor, it of course smashed, milk seeping EVERYWHERE, under the mat, under the shoe rack, DD hopping about trying not to get wet/cut feet and trying to keep the cat out of the mix. We ended up almost late for school (I left the cleaning up till I got back but it was interesting trying to get out and keep the cat in while we locked the inner door and sorting keys was stressful too because my keyring only has the outside porch door on it, I already had it in my pocket and then had to start trying to get back in to find the one for the inner door. In the end I had to lock myself in and use the side door to get out. Poor DD was already in the garden and didn't know where I had gone, she thought I had given up on her and just come back in 😂 We have a mile and a half to walk to school and we made it just as they were lining up -phew!

My DH is a brilliant partner and pulls his weight big time. But he's not perfect.
He turned a whole white load of washing permanently pink by putting in something new and red because he thought the colour run things was 'only something that happens in films'

My EXDP only did the bins, and even then I had to remind him. He got progressively worse over the years, I even did all the DIY, yet he wanted to be lauded as a hero if he made the DC some toast on a rare occasion.

I'm glad I'll be seeing the back of him once our house has been sold. I'm sure he is more than capable of doing everything he can't he arsed to do while we are still sharing the same house.

I had a boyfriend once who was incredibly irritating when it came to practical matters. Once, I was sick with a bad head cold so I cooked a really lovely chilli. I was knackered so I asked him to cook the rice while I lay on the sofa. He was calling from the kitchen for instructions and at one point I yelled 'Yep, just drain it.' A few moments later I wandered into the kitchen to see that he had drained the chilli (rather than the rice) through a colander. All the mince and kidney beans were just sitting there dried out while the sauce washed down the sink. Wtf? I was livid. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. Why? Why would you do that? He was in his late twenties and training to be a nurse. He's a palliative care nurse now. He was very caring but on a practical level useless.

Oh, and I would also be put off by a bloke who dyed their hair.

Not my DP but my dad. Mum was in hospital for a week or so, quite poorly to start, no appetite. As she improved, she started to really want to eat oranges. She asked my dad to pick her up a few. He returned to visit that night with a bag full of “really big oranges” for her. They were grapefruits.

Why do you paint tiles ???? and most importantly why is your DH dyeing his hair ??? I am shocked at both

Christ I don't know why you all put up with this nonsense.
These men wouldn't last five minutes in my house.
My parents are both utterly bonkers in their own ways, but I'm eternally glad that there was none of this women's only housework nonsense, and that the phrase "what did your last slave die of" was in frequent usage.
If DH had pretended not to know how a fucking washing machine worked when we moved in together I would have laughed at him and told him to get a grip.
Stop enabling these men.

Similar to Charmatt’s post, Our 3yr old DC and I unexpectedly spent 5 days in hospital a few years ago. DP managed to look after our other primary school-aged DC, do school runs, laundry, cook, ironed, shopped and continued to go to his office everyday to run his business. He also drove 45 minutes to the hospital everyday bringing clean clothes and dinner for me (parents staying in some hospitals with their children, only get a NHS sandwich for dinner).

I work PT so I’m the main carer and do most of the house stuff, but DP knows how to do it all as it’s expected.
My job is quite pressured and I sometimes work extra hours in order to meet deadlines, so DP often has to step up as the other parent responsible for our kids.

@ChloeCC

I had a boyfriend once who was incredibly irritating when it came to practical matters. Once, I was sick with a bad head cold so I cooked a really lovely chilli. I was knackered so I asked him to cook the rice while I lay on the sofa. He was calling from the kitchen for instructions and at one point I yelled 'Yep, just drain it.' A few moments later I wandered into the kitchen to see that he had drained the chilli (rather than the rice) through a colander. All the mince and kidney beans were just sitting there dried out while the sauce washed down the sink. Wtf? I was livid. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. Why? Why would you do that? He was in his late twenties and training to be a nurse. He's a palliative care nurse now. He was very caring but on a practical level useless.

Sorry but that's hilarious