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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your useless DH stories?

186 replies

Bananapancakes0 · 02/12/2020 19:22

So I spent a couple of weeks making over our bathroom. Painted the tiles (it took 4 coats), the floor, the walls, put up new cabinets, towel rails and accessories.

Dh dyed his hair last night and then showered it off. He failed to notice that all the gleaming Bright white tiles were covered in dark, dark brown hair dye. I just had my shower now, pulled back the curtain and wanted to cry.

How can that not be noticed? Thankfully I was able to get it off with some flash but not before panicking about all my hard work ruined in 2 minutes flat. Just silently raging here.

Please make me feel better with your equally incompetent stories. I hate having to be the 'man' and the woman, it's like having an extra child.

Its not really an aibu just shamelessly posting for traffic.

OP posts:
Catmaiden · 03/12/2020 20:42

Jesus fucking christ.Angry

I married a man, lived with him for a long time, before I decided to have children with him.

God knows, he has lots of uselessness (his ASD means lots of family difficulties , he won't support me in all sorts of things, and yes I'm separated from him now, after 40 odd years of marriage)

BUT when we had children, he stepped up, did his share (yes I had to tell him, but he then did it)

If he'd been like any of the utterly useless "D" H, I would never have had children with him or certainly no more after the first child.

3inthefuckingmorning · 03/12/2020 20:42

I have no idea, it was all fun and games til our 2 babies came along and now his short comings are more obvious because I don't have the time, energy or patience to cover for him.

OP completely agree with this, happened to me too!

My DP Didnt know you had to put any liquid/tablets into the washing machine to actually clean clothes. Also the dishwasher 🙄 I only noticed years into the relationship when he done a wash when we were out of detergent.

I could go on and on...

CurrentEvents · 03/12/2020 20:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

MirandaMarple · 03/12/2020 20:54

I would have tripped wash in the kitchen sink until he'd cleaned it up himself.

MirandaMarple · 03/12/2020 20:55

*stripped

Nillynally · 03/12/2020 20:55

My husband genuinely can't tell the difference between a light and a dark. It's actually quite worrying

whereisthejoy · 03/12/2020 20:59

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale I am peeing myself at your story!! Grin

NeonIcedcoffee · 03/12/2020 21:09

@chavocado

I think I can win this! My DH and I were chatting recently and I can't remember how it came up but he said "anyway you gave me mouldy bread the other day".

I had no recollection of doing this so I asked him to be more specific. It turns out that he had made himself some toast using bread from the bread bin and as he was eating eat he noticed a couple of green dots on the bread. In his mind I had inflicted this upon him......

Before I get jumped on for marrying a fuckwit, in fairness food shopping and catering come under my remit as he's always out-earned me by far allowing me to be work part time and so I do more stuff at home.

What so just cos you do the shopping you're also responsible for ensuring produce is fresh at all times? I honestly have no idea how these men remain un murdered.
NeonIcedcoffee · 03/12/2020 21:18

@grassisjeweled

Drop the ball people!!

^

Good point. I've started to simply not do laundry - it's only taken 10 years but with DH, the penny's finally dropped. 'Oh, I don't have any clean underwear?'

No shit, sherlock.

Yeah but in the update above from op it sounds like the kids aren't actually safe with him if she does. So all well and good on the domestic stuff. But less doable for lots of people on the childcare. (disclaimer I don't have kids or a useless husband)
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 03/12/2020 21:18

@ssd

Can you imagine a man starting a thread about useless wife stories here, he'd get absolutely shot down in flames.
Not if he was surrounded by lots of other men. I know for a fact dp and his friends complain about their other halfs. I couldnt give a shit. I can be annoying, so can he.
AfterSchoolWorry · 03/12/2020 21:24

@mummmy2017

Today I deliberately left the house early, so my OH had to put the shopping away. I said I had forgotten it was being delivered today, and it was loads of frozen stuff.
Ha, I feel your pain.

We have a small backup fridge and freezer. They look similar. I recently found a bunch of freezer stuff in the small fridge. About €40 had to be thrown out.

I once found fresh carrots in the freezer too 🙄

TheSandman · 03/12/2020 21:27

@hollyhope

The hair- dyeing in itself would put me off.
I'm trying to work out why you painted tiles. I presume you mean ceramic tiles - what did you paint them with that it took four coats to get a good coverage and then was so porous hair die stuck to it instantly?
LovelyBranches · 03/12/2020 21:33

OP I understand where you are coming from.

I have tried to not let it bother me but it’s genuinely infuriating. We have a main bathroom and an en-suite. Dh tends to get himself ready in the main bathroom and keeps his toiletries and shaver in there. The room has 6 spotlights. I am sick of always being the person who changes the lightbulbs when they go, so in this room I left it and didn’t nag him. He got down to 1 spotlight left. This is a room that doesn’t have a window, so it was stupidly dark in there and when I asked him why he didn’t change the lightbulb he couldn’t even think of a reason.

I ended up changing the lightbulbs myself.

I dream about a husband that would willingly want to do something practical.

GettingUntrapped · 03/12/2020 21:39

My ex eptpied the dishwasher (if I asked him to). Anyway it still sticks in my mind that he managed to unload a bowl that had water from the dishwasher in it, and put it in the cupboard with the water still in it. Hard to forget that.

cheesecake864 · 03/12/2020 22:21

@Bananapancakes0 interesting you mention your DH may have dyspraxia. I think I have dyspraxia and I am a relatively intelligent women with a good job who is absolutely useless in the house. My husband is brilliant at looking after me and the kids but I live in mess, and completely disorganised at home, even something simple like sweeping is a nightmare for me as I just can't do it. I don't want to be useless and obviously can use a dishwasher and do laundry etc but there are so many domestic things I find hard or am oblivious to.

So we tend to focus on the things we do best at home. I do laundry and pay for ironing, shopping and cooking. My amazing dh does the cleaning and most other things.I also went back to work full time as I realised it was pointless me being part time I just seem to make more mess when I'm home, so Dh works part time and does school runs

Itsalwayssunnyupnorth · 03/12/2020 22:25

A colleagues boyfriend attempted to do the tidying up after dinner in her beautiful new kitchen. He put all the dishes in the dishwasher and proceeded to squeeze half a bottle of fairy liquid over the dishes and set the cycle off! Let just say there was a lot of bubbles and new floor required.

Closetbeanmuncher · 03/12/2020 22:30

This is where "boys will be boys" gets us....

Mothers of males take note.

WobbliHead3000 · 03/12/2020 22:36

Nothing to add but some of these are hilarious!

Kettlingur · 03/12/2020 22:51

My spouse will go to the store and buy only what's on his route. I can make a shopping list but then an item will be missing and he'll be all "Oh I checked and they don't sell that'"

"The supermarket does not sell salt?" Hmm

TheSandman · 03/12/2020 23:33

@Closetbeanmuncher

This is where "boys will be boys" gets us....

Mothers of males take note.

Oh for fucks sake!

Fathers of males too. Or are we all supposed to be so feeble-witted we're incapable of bringing up our own sons to make their own beds, clean their own rooms, cook, and clean?

Given the slovenly way my wife treats household management - though she does earn more than me - he's much more likely to see males as primary carers and home-makers than women.

To redress the balance here's a moment that made me wonder if my DW shares the same planet as the rest of us.

The kitchen is knee deep in dirty pots because I, for once have had a couple of day's paid work and have been out during the day. This job coincided neatly with her taking a day off her work for some reason - to use up some holiday entitlement before she lost it probably.

I come home to find the sinks as full as when I had left in the morning. (I hadn't done them the night before because I was whacked after working all day then coming home and cooking and then getting the kids to bed, and, since my wife was at home all day the next day, I assumed she would do them.) And when I say the sinks were full - I mean they were FULL of dirty washing. I love to cook but I do have a bad habit of using far too many pans.

So when I get home on day two the washing is still there... but the dishwasher is running full pelt. I open it. It's empty - apart from some weird bottle of dishwasher cleaning stuff and half a lemon.

My wife, faced with a mountain of washing up, had decided to clean the dishwasher. Put it on a four hour long, high-temperature setting I didn't even know existed - TWENTY MINUTES before I got home from work.

Fuck knows what she'd been doing all day.

keeprocking · 03/12/2020 23:48

@Soandsoandso

I wouldn't throw a marriage away for the sake of a man not having full brains at home if he is hard working, providing and a good father at the very least... not every man is born with all sets of amazing skills there's ought to be shortfalls somewhere.
And I'm sure that many of these 'useless' men could provide stories about their 'useless' wives! We had quite a few that we would laugh about. I had asked him to invite our friends for a meal on Friday evening, they worked together, Yes, they're coming. On the day I was cooking and he decided we needed more wine so disappeared for a while. They came, we ate, everyting fine. A few years later we were all talking and one of them said Oh, I must tell you something! Apparently, he'd not asked them and had gone running up to their flat, half way up a mountain, on the top floor, gasping the invitation, Please come, she'll kill me!
biggledy · 03/12/2020 23:49

Hmm I'm quite useless myself, but DH really cant cook anything aside from pasta (he's tried several times). He also cleans all stains by rubbing his bare fingers on it e.g. soap scum on sink. He cant do DIY but neither can I. When he does the laundry clothes and damp and smell wierd. When he does the groceries he gets beer and coke and snacks and no food for the family.

DS is lazy as shit and makes DD do everything for him, I often have to tell DD not to. I'm afraid he will one day become a feature of this post as an adult.

disneybee · 04/12/2020 00:07

"it was all fun and games til our 2 babies came along and now his short comings are more obvious because I don't have the time, energy or patience to cover for him."

Omg that could be me writing about my DH. It's too late at night to start typing out all the many stories of DH's silliness, but I just wanted to empathise with you OP - I feel your pain!! 💐

dhisreadingmypostsagain · 04/12/2020 00:26

@Charmatt I hope you are ok?

FunkBus · 04/12/2020 00:52

Mine has ADHD so some of the stuff he does is just on another level. Recently he complained that there were no clean teaspoons to stir his coffee, whined about the indignity of using a dessert spoon to do it, because that's not what it's for, did my fucking head in with it and then came in with his coffee in one mug and some breakfast cereal in another. We had clean bowls. And all his arse needed to do was rinse a damn teaspoon"

That's not ADHD, that's being a whiny arsehole. ADHD does not make people into whiny arseholes.

Yes, it would freak me out to use a big spoon to stir my tea, but I'd be more likely to stand in the kitchen for 30 minutes trying to figure out what to do than to moan about it to my husband.

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