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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that watching violent films with baby is wrong?

206 replies

foodster · 26/11/2020 20:38

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, our baby is 4 months old.

I take care of the baby during the day and my partner takes care of him when he comes home from work.

I take the evening hours to relax ( like taking a bath etc) as I still have a lot of postnatal health issues after the birth.

My partner is a very good dad, but he likes to sit on the floor, put the baby on his legs in his snuggleme cushion gently swaying him while he watches Samurai or Zombie films on Netflix. These films are all age 18 and I don't like them. He insists that he likes them and needs the films to wind down after a long day at work. He says the baby doesn't understand what's happening in the films.

I know our baby doesn't consciously understand what's happening in the films. Our son is quite fascinated by the lights on the screen and I worry that the grim content might influence him on a subconscious level.

AIBU to think it's inappropriate to watch these films when taking care of the baby?

OP posts:
speakout · 27/11/2020 06:09

*I don't understand why people find this funny or think this post is a wind up. I really believe that dark, grims things on the TV can be distressing for a little baby.
I think a baby has enough intelligence to distinguish between positive and negative sounds.
*

I agree.

Posters are free to disagree, but I fail to see the humour.

Sargass0 · 27/11/2020 06:11

I really believe that dark, grims things on the TV can be distressing for a little baby.

Don't ever watch Mr Tumbles with your baby then.

Shoxfordian · 27/11/2020 06:13

I don't agree with you either op
It sounds more like you don't like these films so you don't want them on

speakout · 27/11/2020 06:16

Is it OK for couples to have raging argument in front of babies then?

SimonJT · 27/11/2020 06:22

Oh mumsnet, your entertainment value is fantastic.

NameChange30 · 27/11/2020 06:24

@Lucylaine
"The PP saying about light and TV screens due to their 3 month old...bless you, wait until you're on your third kid."

Patronising shite. She's my second and last baby, I'm not having a third. And my first baby was such a bad sleeper that DH and I almost didn't have a second.

So excuse me for wanting to start introducing a reasonable bedtime, now that she's 3 months old, and considering that the light and noise of the TV might not be the most helpful elements for achieving that goal Hmm

Last night I managed to get to sleep at about 10.30pm, after spending all evening with the baby, then she woke twice in the night and started stirring from 5.30am, now I have to look after her and a demanding, energetic 3 year old all day. So I don't have much patience for being patronised on Mumsnet.

NameChange30 · 27/11/2020 06:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RoseAndRose · 27/11/2020 06:24

The baby doesn't understand.

Unless you are going to ban all screens, then what is on the screen is immaterial here

I used to take mine to The Big Screen cinema screening, where they used to show any classification film for parents plus Infant under 1.

Laarkawaay · 27/11/2020 06:33

This is a short term issue- soon your baby will be going asleep at 7pm so he will have to change his viewing anyway if you want to watch anything together.

At months I had a baby stuck on my boob cluster feeding all evening so try to enjoy the break if you can.

timeisnotaline · 27/11/2020 06:37

This is ridiculous. Studies shown exposing them to foreign languages via tv isn’t at all the same as conversation and real people talking. Maybe If it freaked you out watching baby might pick up on your stress but someone would hardly be watching if it Affected them like that! Your baby is not going to notice. I watched whatever I wanted until they were much older than that.

motherrunner · 27/11/2020 06:39

@PontiacBandit

I watched Dexter all through my 1st maternity leave so I can't judge.
I watched every season of The Walking Dead’ on my mat leave with DS who is now 6.

Never too early to educate a child on how to protect themselves for an apocalypse.

20viona · 27/11/2020 06:40

The baby is clueless at that are I'd imagine.

butter675 · 27/11/2020 07:12

@PontiacBandit

I watched Dexter all through my 1st maternity leave so I can't judge.
Dexter was my go to as well !
Camomila · 27/11/2020 07:18

I agree babies undestand more than we think. I tried watching Dr Who at the same time as bf DS1 to sleep when he was around 9/10m and then had to change over because he got scared of the theme tune.

(He still hates minor keys now!)

Besom · 27/11/2020 07:25

If babies are distressed then they cry don't they? I mean it's easy to tell when a baby s distressed. They don't lie there silently brooding with anxiety. If baby is content and volume is down I can't see the problem personally. When baby becomes more aware he will need to stop.

rwalker · 27/11/2020 07:28

Your ONLY concern needs to be the volume wether it's a zombie film or east enders is irrelevant.

cheeseismydownfall · 27/11/2020 07:37

I kind of agree with you. I don't have a problem with snuggling with a breastfeeding or dozing baby in front of the TV, but the idea of regularly and deliberately pointing a wide-awake 4 month old at a TV for the duration of an 18 rated movie sounds like lazy parenting at best, and I wouldn't like it.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 07:37

Never too early to educate a child on how to protect themselves for an apocalypse.

Darned straight!

AcrobaticCardigan · 27/11/2020 08:01

I’m with you OP. It’s wrong to me. It’s not just about them viewing the screen - I hate the thought of the baby being exposed to the sounds. It must have an effect.

Teapotuser · 27/11/2020 08:06

No way! That's totally selfish. Hearing screaming etc... Even if baby doesn't register what's going on, when is the age that they will? I don't let my kids watch adult / rated films. Watching things a child can't handle does affect their brain. Before anyone says I'm over the top, my dad used to show me horror clips when I didn't ask and it has given me harm ocd. I was 12.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 08:10

Before anyone says I'm over the top, my dad used to show me horror clips when I didn't ask and it has given me harm ocd. I was 12.

At 12 you can understand what you are seeing. A small baby can’t. I agree they should be turned away from the screen and the volume turned down, but this isn’t the same.

Fleetwoodmacs · 27/11/2020 08:22

Around that age we didn't really worry about what we watched, but by the time she was able to sit properly and actually look at the screen we stopped anything violent or scary. We started putting her down in her own room then too so it worked itself out naturally.

My partner grudged having to change what he watched during the day but he did adapt.

Teapotuser · 27/11/2020 08:24

That's true. It's just when do you stop having these things playing? Isn't this how small children are desensitized by these films? I knew a woman who would let her child age 3 watch all kinds of horror . I thought it was plain wrong. I'm biased I know because it affected me so much.

deerdeerrt · 27/11/2020 08:26

I used to watch true crime whilst on maternity leave. I have scarred my child.

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 08:28

That's true. It's just when do you stop having these things playing?

I think as parents we pick up on our children beginning to become more aware of the world and make a judgement. I accept that you can get that wrong, but I think most parents can make that judgement well.

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