to think that watching violent films with baby is wrong?

[foodster]

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, our baby is 4 months old.

I take care of the baby during the day and my partner takes care of him when he comes home from work.

I take the evening hours to relax ( like taking a bath etc) as I still have a lot of postnatal health issues after the birth.

My partner is a very good dad, but he likes to sit on the floor, put the baby on his legs in his snuggleme cushion gently swaying him while he watches Samurai or Zombie films on Netflix. These films are all age 18 and I don't like them. He insists that he likes them and needs the films to wind down after a long day at work. He says the baby doesn't understand what's happening in the films.

I know our baby doesn't consciously understand what's happening in the films. Our son is quite fascinated by the lights on the screen and I worry that the grim content might influence him on a subconscious level.

AIBU to think it's inappropriate to watch these films when taking care of the baby?

@Ginnymweasley

My kids are fucked then. I love horror films and often watched them while breastfeeding both my kids. I remember one night holding ds while watching IT, along with game of thrones. He seems fine. No beheading people or dragging the into sewers but I will report back if he starts.

The best thing about BFing your PFB is the excuse provided to glue your arse to the sofa & binge watch surely?

I binged watched all game of thrones during maternity leave. DD is now 5 and hasn't killed any white walkers yet so we're good. I wouldn't worry.

I'd had a section and was breastfeeding endlessly, so stayed in bed and watched every season of Vikings....

Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, sons of Anarchy, Dexter, Grey's Anatomy... Entire box sets completed whilst breastfeeding my kids.

My only negative was that I didn't get to watch as much with my second baby whilst on maternity leave as her brother had to be looked after during the day.

I usually watched these shows on the iPad whilst in bed. The noise didn't bother either child and, in fact, both would now remain asleep whilst a bomb exploded they're such deep sleepers.

Neither child appears scarred for life. In fact neither of them realise or even remember anything happening other than that they both loved to be snuggled with their mama whilst they nursed.

I watched the walking dead with DC1 and the hand maids take with DC2. I struggled more with the second, as it’s about reproduction but the babies didn’t understand a thing!

I think you’re projecting your own dislikes.

op i get it but my parents were hippies. bad vibes from those films! seriously, why would you watch those films if they didn't make you feel something? and those feelings really aren't in tune with what you want a baby to pick up (emerging research indicates we pick up more than we may think)
or is it an issue with dh not tuning in with the baby generally?

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble My youngest is 15. She recently thanked me for not letting her watch a cert 15 film when she was younger. Apparently she now sees my point. Not exposing my DC to extreme violence is all part of my weird parenting style.

I turned off band of brothers (ww2 if not familiar) becuade I didn't want my newborn hearing the sound of guns and warfare 😅

Posters are right, the baby wont be aware of anything that's happening but... your baby is 4 months old. Your natural instinct is to protect it from anything that might scare it.

This thread is hilarious. There might be something in it though...

I committed the cardinal sin of binge watching Gilmore Girls endlessly whilst DS was a baby and breastfeeding ...

He’s 4 now and jumps up onto my knee for a snuggle whenever he hears the theme tune

I ploughed my way through Bioshock on my Xbox when mine were little as well as lots of films and tv. So long as it’s not too loud to startle a baby awake (and something shit like X Factor could do that) then it’s fine.

Neither twin seems affected by anything I ever watched when they were babies. They don’t watch 15s or scary stuff and are very gentle, loving children. They are nearly 12.

Ask him to put the sound off and watch with subtitles if you’re really worried. You can’t ask him to turn it off because you don’t like those types of films.

I'm with you OP. I posted sthg similar 9 years ago when my DH was watching something violent with our first born. I got flamed.

😂😂 wow and I thought I was precious with my baby lol some of these comments are ridiculous!

@speakout

Inappropriate.

A baby won't understand the storyline of the plot, but a baby has a high emotional intelligence- and noises of violence, shouts, screams etc will have an impact on a baby's developing brain.

By the same token as a small baby living in a house where adults are screaming and arguing.
Babies are clever little things and absorb atmosphere and feelings like a sponge.

I aas concerned about this, but when i was on mat leave i read a study that said that babies can differentiate between recorded noise and live noise, and their stress responses to the same noise recorded is much, much lower. So basically watch what you want til theyre about 6 months.

I'm not gonna be able to find the link now!

Are infants oblivious to sounds of pain, anger and distress? I don’t think they are.

Just doesn’t seem right to me. 🤷‍♀️

Ask him to keep baby away from the screen and maybe he could wear headphones?

@Temporarything

Are infants oblivious to sounds of pain, anger and distress? I don’t think they are.

Just doesn’t seem right to me. 🤷‍♀️

Ask him to keep baby away from the screen and maybe he could wear headphones?

See above posts about recorded sound vs live sound, im looking for the article now, though i think it might actually have been torn out of one of my friend's paeds journals

I wouldn't want my baby exposed to those films. I was cautious about what films I watched when pregnant.

Oh god I needed a good laugh today.

These will be stressful and unpleasant noises and images. A baby might not have the skills to comprehend the images but they will definitely be taking something in from it. There's good reason why baby toys and audio items are soothing or pleasant noises instead of warfare and death shrieks

Go with your gut instinct and stand your ground OP. I think it's horrible.

This thread is surely a joke?!

YABU, one of the good things about having a baby is not having to censor your film and telly watching. All change when they get a bit bigger!

See above posts about recorded sound vs live sound

I don't agree with that.

I find violent movies upsetting, screaming, shouting threatening voices leave me feeling very uneasy and wreck my calm- and I know they are actors!!
If they unsettle me with the additional knowledge of knowing they are fake, then they must affect a baby.

My baby throughly enjoyed Band of Brothers while I cluster fed him.

Actually, he didn't as he was too busy feeding / sleeping.

It's fine. My baby is now 14 and a throughly lovely, kind and decent human being...

Prob knock the films on the head when they start becoming more aware of surroundings I'd say.

Oh for god sake. This is obviously a wind up post. No one is this ridiculous about a baby being near a TV playing a film. Best turn off any form of reality show/soap/anything other than cbeebies otherwise. It's a baby, a tiny baby, it doesn't understand. The blokes been working all day, let him watch his show.

@speakout

See above posts about recorded sound vs live sound

I don't agree with that.

I find violent movies upsetting, screaming, shouting threatening voices leave me feeling very uneasy and wreck my calm- and I know they are actors!!
If they unsettle me with the additional knowledge of knowing they are fake, then they must affect a baby.

But you've got context, understanding of plot, emotional intelligence, complex memory and the ability to focus your eyes on the screen!

None of which are present in a baby.

I was laughably preciois when pregnant. I went to the cinema see Jurassic World on my due date for DD1 and sat with a very thick coat over my bump the whole time because I was worried that the roaring would scare her

Seriously though, I love horror and used to watch lots of ultra violent stuff once she was born, but always with the sound down low and the subtitles on. As far as I can tell, it's done her no harm.