to think that watching violent films with baby is wrong?

[foodster]

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, our baby is 4 months old.

I take care of the baby during the day and my partner takes care of him when he comes home from work.

I take the evening hours to relax ( like taking a bath etc) as I still have a lot of postnatal health issues after the birth.

My partner is a very good dad, but he likes to sit on the floor, put the baby on his legs in his snuggleme cushion gently swaying him while he watches Samurai or Zombie films on Netflix. These films are all age 18 and I don't like them. He insists that he likes them and needs the films to wind down after a long day at work. He says the baby doesn't understand what's happening in the films.

I know our baby doesn't consciously understand what's happening in the films. Our son is quite fascinated by the lights on the screen and I worry that the grim content might influence him on a subconscious level.

AIBU to think it's inappropriate to watch these films when taking care of the baby?

I agree; it won’t be long before your baby does understand, and gets frightened by obviously angry or distressed people in the scenes.

Your DP needs to be playing with your baby or watching Moon and Me - why can’t he watch the films when your baby has gone to bed? He needs to drop the habit before your baby gets much older.

What do you remember from when you were a baby?

Thanks to the posters who understand my point of view. Sometimes baby isn't facing the screen, sometimes he is.

I agree that at this age baby should be surrounded by happy, child appropriate things. Not hearing screams of despair, agony and death.

First thing i put on tv after getting home from the hospital
UFC

Baby has no idea whats going on at that age

I watched all of the Dexter series with my little one 😂🤣

I try not to let my baby watch the screen at all, whatever I'm watching, but if she's faced the other way breastfeeding or whatever, then I watch anything I want (with the volume turned down). I watch a lot of violent stuff!

DP did day he had to turn off some saucy film he was watching (nb not porn,l.. some Korean film involving lesbian sex) as it just felt "wrong".

I wouldnt like this either, it doesnt seem right.
Can you share the baby time once your DP is back? Take it in turns?

I love horror films and would regularly watch them when my DD was younger, they have no idea what is on the screen at that age. I wouldn't do it once they more aware of what they are watching, my DD is now 18 months and I wouldn't watch them infront of her now.

When I was pregnant with my DS my mum told me off for going to watch horrors t the cinema because she thought it would affect my UNBORN baby 🙄
Turns out she was right, he used to kick away throughout the films and now as a teenager he loves horrors lol.

I remember going to baby cinema when DS was tiny, we watched Hunger Games. The cinema was full of mums and babies.

I wouldn't want my baby exposed to those films. I was cautious about what films I watched when pregnant.

At what age does a baby understand violence? 18m? 3 year? It's just not good to expose a baby to violence.

Only if they’re shit films.

@LynetteScavo

I wouldn't want my baby exposed to those films. I was cautious about what films I watched when pregnant.

At what age does a baby understand violence? 18m? 3 year? It's just not good to expose a baby to violence.

It gonna be a long long 18 years for you then.

@LynetteScavo haha are you serious? Whilst pregnant you didn't watch any violent films?

I feel like if he's been out all day at work and is coming home to (rightfully, don't get me wrong) take baby off your hands so you can have some you time dictating what he can/can't watch seems a bit mean.

We watched most of Breaking Bad when DD was tiny. I’ve never seen her try to cook meth in her play kitchen.

I agree - it's not about them understanding or remembering it, the sounds and images will still be disturbing to a baby I think. I try and keep all TV to a minimum tbh for my 3 month old as I think it's overstimulating in general..

Sorry but I think yabu and ott my little one loves a good zombie movie

I found that I couldn’t watch anything sad, scary or violent from about 12 weeks pregnant and still can’t (baby is 4 months) but it’s nothing to do with thinking it will affect the baby, it’s just I’ve turned into a wuss who can’t stand anything more than what the classification board call ‘mild peril’.

I try to avoid any screen time for DD but occasionally she’ll stare at strictly or whatever and I just tell myself it’s sensory time.

I think you’re being a bit ridiculous, but I can sort of see why you are too. DH used to stay up late with our baby to let me get some sleep back when she would only ever sleep on one of us. I do remember hearing some gunfire and shouting the tv and thinking it probably wasn’t the best, but it was his shift and he’s her dad so I let him judge for himself.

DD spent her baby hood with Jeremy and Judy.

She still loves a bit of Judge Judy now.

I'm not sure your 4month old can even focus on his phone screen well enough to see that they're people. Never mind actually understand what's happening.

Dont start dictating what he can and cant do while looking after his son, you wouldn't like it if he did it to you.

I binge watched Mad Men with DS1 when he was tiny and he has yet to develop a taste for boozing, womanising, well-cut suits or cynical wit. I'm quite disappointed about the last two TBH.

Bloody hell. Just when I thought I’d heard it all...........

@foodster

Thanks to the posters who understand my point of view. Sometimes baby isn't facing the screen, sometimes he is.

I agree that at this age baby should be surrounded by happy, child appropriate things. Not hearing screams of despair, agony and death.

Gotta love a thread where the OP has no interest in opinions other than ones agreeing with them.

As long as the volume isn't at ear-splitting levels then no baby is going to be traumatised by images they are incapable of understanding. They literally have no way of knowing what the random colours they are doubtless paying zero interest to represent. Personally I think shit like the teletubbies is more likely to mess them up.

My kids are fucked then. I love horror films and often watched them while breastfeeding both my kids. I remember one night holding ds while watching IT, along with game of thrones. He seems fine. No beheading people or dragging the into sewers but I will report back if he starts.

YABU Because the baby doesn't know what's going on.

But YANBU that he's staring the baby at a screen to occupy him instead of hugging, eye contact, bonding etc like you do in the day.