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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that watching violent films with baby is wrong?

206 replies

foodster · 26/11/2020 20:38

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, our baby is 4 months old.

I take care of the baby during the day and my partner takes care of him when he comes home from work.

I take the evening hours to relax ( like taking a bath etc) as I still have a lot of postnatal health issues after the birth.

My partner is a very good dad, but he likes to sit on the floor, put the baby on his legs in his snuggleme cushion gently swaying him while he watches Samurai or Zombie films on Netflix. These films are all age 18 and I don't like them. He insists that he likes them and needs the films to wind down after a long day at work. He says the baby doesn't understand what's happening in the films.

I know our baby doesn't consciously understand what's happening in the films. Our son is quite fascinated by the lights on the screen and I worry that the grim content might influence him on a subconscious level.

AIBU to think it's inappropriate to watch these films when taking care of the baby?

OP posts:
namechangetheworld · 26/11/2020 22:26

Precious!

Lucylaine · 26/11/2020 22:27

"Go with your gut instinct and stand your ground OP. I think it's horrible"

The baby's father doesn't agree. The OP isn't the boss here. They're equal parents. The baby is with its father then, the father is choosing what to watch. The OP doesn't get to overrule this just because she's the mother.

Ohalrightthen · 26/11/2020 22:29

@Lucylaine

"Go with your gut instinct and stand your ground OP. I think it's horrible"

The baby's father doesn't agree. The OP isn't the boss here. They're equal parents. The baby is with its father then, the father is choosing what to watch. The OP doesn't get to overrule this just because she's the mother.

THANK YOU
Crystal90567 · 26/11/2020 22:29

I think it's a very bad idea. You wouldn't let a 2yo watch it. When do you stop? When do they start noticing.
I think you're conditioning baby to accept violence

Noddyandbiggerears · 26/11/2020 22:31

think you're conditioning baby to accept violence
😂😂😂

Ellathechristmasfairy20 · 26/11/2020 22:32

This is hilarious and has given me a good laugh, I needed it today.

Chathamhouserules · 26/11/2020 22:32

Hopefully your health issues will resolve soon so you can do your bit in the evening. Otherwise you might have to put up with it. Otherwise your partner will never get time to do what he wants! I dont think the baby will be affected. Maybe keep the sound down a bit.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 26/11/2020 22:32

@Crystal90567

I think it's a very bad idea. You wouldn't let a 2yo watch it. When do you stop? When do they start noticing. I think you're conditioning baby to accept violence
Are you fuck Hmm
Chathamhouserules · 26/11/2020 22:33

I think you're conditioning baby to accept violence
I don't.

Thickhead · 26/11/2020 22:33

Our local indie cinema does baby-friendly screenings of adult films up until the babies turn 1. Precisely because they can't understand what's going on.

I saw Midsommar and a very violent Western with my son. It was great and he was more interested in breastfeeding / crawling around on the floor than watching the film. As long as the volume isn't high there's nothing to worry about.

caroline161 · 26/11/2020 22:33

I would turn off jeremy Kyle when we got our puppy as didnt think she should be listening to all the shouting...

Lucylaine · 26/11/2020 22:33

Grown adults can't see the difference between a newborn and a toddler... Concerning 😂

Strokethefurrywall · 26/11/2020 22:35

Jesus Christ this thread... 🤣🤣🤣🤣

NameChange30 · 26/11/2020 22:36

Time of day is relevant. Watching a bit of tv during the day while looking after baby is fine. In the evening when you are trying to work towards a bedtime routine, I don't think tv is appropriate. It's not so much the content, more the light from the screen and the noise. I don't know what time he is watching the tv but I would say that about an hour before you want to put baby down for the night, you need to keep baby in a calm environment with dim light, quiet sounds etc.

Btw, I've said this because your baby is 4 months old. Mine is nearly 3 months old and is getting very alert and aware now. I think before 3 months you can get away with watching tv with them in the evenings, we have been doing it, but I have stopped now as I think she's too aware of her surroundings etc and don't want her looking at the screen, I want to work towards putting her to bed earlier and having a bit of evening without her!

HoppingPavlova · 26/11/2020 22:36

Didn’t bother me at all when mine were that age. None grew up to be emotionally disturbed psychopaths.

squeekums · 26/11/2020 22:36

@Crystal90567

I think it's a very bad idea. You wouldn't let a 2yo watch it. When do you stop? When do they start noticing. I think you're conditioning baby to accept violence
I think your as delusional as the OP
LynetteScavo · 26/11/2020 22:36

So at what age do people stop watching 18 films with their babies?

Mylittlesandwich · 26/11/2020 22:37

When DS was a newborn he just slept all the time so I watched whatever I liked. Lucifer and keeping up with the kardashians were watched in full. When he got older and became more aware of what was going on we stopped watching anything about a 12A but he doesn't watch the telly, it's on in the background.

SionnachRua · 26/11/2020 22:39

@Crystal90567

I think it's a very bad idea. You wouldn't let a 2yo watch it. When do you stop? When do they start noticing. I think you're conditioning baby to accept violence
😂😂😂

Lord above, what would we do without MN posters like you bringing a bit of amusement to us all? Doing fantastic work, carry on.

The baby will be happy out. Let the dad do his share of the parenting and you do yours - you don't automatically get your way on this just because you're Mum.

Winterwoollies · 26/11/2020 22:41

FFS 😂

19lottie82 · 26/11/2020 22:42

My local cinema shows films where parents can take along their babies (lower volume, no one tutting of baby starts to cry etc) and they allow babies under 12 months old into 12/15/ 18 certificates. I think that’s a pretty good baseline. They won’t have a clue as to what’s going on.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 26/11/2020 22:42

@LynetteScavo

So at what age do people stop watching 18 films with their babies?
I can't give you an exact age, but by the time she was 1 it naturally fizzled out due to her bedtime,routine, babbling, being on the go all the time,needing attention etc.

She's 9 now and the most violent film she's watched to date has been Harry Potter(all of them).

TigerDroveAgain · 26/11/2020 22:44

I love this thread. Comedy gold

Anna783426 · 26/11/2020 22:44

This has been such a good read.

FWIW I watched TV endlessly when my little girl was tiny and endlessly cluster feeding. Never anything scary but I did watch entire seasons of utter crap on Netflix in one night. I remember something about cheerleaders and I watched a lot of Call the Midwife. All pretty gentle stuff.

But once she was around 3/4 she started being a bit more aware and I cut back on the TV as it just didn't sit right. I remember being told as well that TV on all the time messed with their ability to listen to you. I'm sure I'll be told I'm far too precious for thinking that.

My DH wasn't quite so keen but we did start bringing in a bedtime routine around 4 months so we did get a bit of an evening back.

Tootsietoot · 26/11/2020 22:45

I remember watching bad Santa with my 3 month old he burst into tears at a violent bit and I felt terrible as it was very obviously a reaction.