to think that watching violent films with baby is wrong?

[foodster]

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, our baby is 4 months old.

I take care of the baby during the day and my partner takes care of him when he comes home from work.

I take the evening hours to relax ( like taking a bath etc) as I still have a lot of postnatal health issues after the birth.

My partner is a very good dad, but he likes to sit on the floor, put the baby on his legs in his snuggleme cushion gently swaying him while he watches Samurai or Zombie films on Netflix. These films are all age 18 and I don't like them. He insists that he likes them and needs the films to wind down after a long day at work. He says the baby doesn't understand what's happening in the films.

I know our baby doesn't consciously understand what's happening in the films. Our son is quite fascinated by the lights on the screen and I worry that the grim content might influence him on a subconscious level.

AIBU to think it's inappropriate to watch these films when taking care of the baby?

Many/most cinemas show "adult" films in the day that you can bring babies to, up till 1years old. To give parents a way of seeing them.

The PP saying about light and TV screens due to their 3 month old...bless you, wait until you're on your third kid.

Honestly, all jokes aside, this is such a non issue. The baby is 4 months old, aslong as the sound isn't too high, they're not 2 inches from the screen etc. It's fine. Dad is looking after the baby, giving mum a break, bonding with the child and also getting downtime after work. The baby doesn't care/know what it's watching it's enjoying time with their dad. Mum is getting a break. Everyone is benefiting. No harm is being done. Seriously, nothing is awful, mum doesn't get to dictate the tv schedule, the baby is safe with dad

Omfg. Whatever you do, when you have a second or subsequent child, no matter WHAT HAPPENS, for Christ's sake DON't let them watch the Numberjacks, or any other perilous adventure on a screen that involves the child's auditory system.

Or worse... SPOOKY SPOON. Because even YOU will have nightmares

Christ. That cackle is enough to turn the most benign baby into a serial killer.

I have swathes of cotton wool. Going free. Collection only.

@EmilySpinach

We watched most of Breaking Bad when DD was tiny. I’ve never seen her try to cook meth in her play kitchen.

Well clearly she's not doing it right?!?

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble

What do you remember from when you were a baby?

It's not that you 'remember' things, but it all gets absorbed, and is part of becoming who you are. So if a tiny baby is hearing calm voices, laughter and simple language (e.g. baby books) and music, it will have an impact. If a baby is hearing shouting and screaming, guns and explosion, and scary bangs and noises all the time, that will have a different impact.

I understand op, it's the sounds. I'm actually the one who's started watching Korean zombie films on my maternity and I suddenly realised this is kind of a shitty thing for my 2 month old to be hearing. He could get wireless headphones? My dp also sticks baby on his legs and shuffles them side to side by the way. He's usually on his phone. Great interaction. 🙄 I finally mentioned babies can get bored and if she's not asleep he could talk to her, show her things etc. 50% of the time now, he does. Helps now she's smiling.

My dd was in hospital at 4 months and I had to stay with her. My DH bought in my laptop & Dexter DVDs

Not one health care professional said anything and one even sat and watched an episode with me

So if a tiny baby is hearing calm voices, laughter and simple language (e.g. baby books) and music, it will have an impact. If a baby is hearing shouting and screaming, guns and explosion, and scary bangs and noises all the time, that will have a different impact.

Is there no middle ground? Why the exaggeration of "all the time"?
It's in the evenings for what? An hour or two if he's even awake that long?

Op. Bluetooth headphones are your friend here

@CandyLeBonBon

Spooky spoon!! Oh you've taken me back, my son (now nearly 13 and perfectly normal) was terrified by that bitch. More so than any 18 film I watched while breastfeeding him at 4 months old. That and the meerkats from the compare the market ads, they screwed him up

My youngest cluster fed through several seasons of walking dead.

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't have anything on that sounded scary or violent if baby was in the room. It didn't feel very nice when babies are learning the sounds of the world.

Plenty of other stuff to watch.

I am dying this thread is just what I needed

High five to the bad mums club

I don't know but my husband watched the whole world cup with 2 month old. He is now 7 and completely obsessed with football ⚽

Pretty sure it was all that brainwashing

I would totally not want that either. Babies shouldn't be watching 18 films!!!

I can't give you an exact age, but by the time she was 1 it naturally fizzled out due to her bedtime,routine, babbling, being on the go all the time,needing attention etc.

Same for us really

@AlwaysLatte

I would totally not want that either. Babies shouldn't be watching 18 films!!!

Babies can't actually watch anything. Not even the super educational,soothing, mozart playing made up programme.

@elizabethdraper

I don't know but my husband watched the whole world cup with 2 month old. He is now 7 and completely obsessed with football ⚽

Pretty sure it was all that brainwashing

He was obviously conditioned into football.

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble

So if a tiny baby is hearing calm voices, laughter and simple language (e.g. baby books) and music, it will have an impact. If a baby is hearing shouting and screaming, guns and explosion, and scary bangs and noises all the time, that will have a different impact.

Is there no middle ground? Why the exaggeration of "all the time"?
It's in the evenings for what? An hour or two if he's even awake that long?

Sorry that was me with 'all the time' hyperbole. Was just making the point that just because babies don't 'remember' things, doesn't mean they don't affect them.

No, but at that age they are more tuned in to atmosphere/sounds etc than we are. They would definitely pick up on the negative things in the film.

A baby shouldn’t be watching tv.. at all.

Spot on. It's not recommended for babies to have any screen time under the age of 1 due to the high levels of stimulation.

I also agree I wouldn't have baby say in front of horror films. People totally up under estimate the impact of what babies are exposed to.

Shit! Is that why my son has ADHD! And have the odd violent meltdown then? Because of films I watched when he was a baby.

Anyway thanks for the laughter after a hard day of home schooling.

I don't know but my husband watched the whole world cup with 2 month old. He is now 7 and completely obsessed with football

Lucky bastard
My brainwashing efforts failed
She likes footy but completely the wrong team, its a great parenting fail on my part lol
She also dont even like UFC or WWE, which we watched a lot of when she was a baby

I’m totally with you OP. I can’t believe anyone would actually think this is acceptable!

The screaming and growling, guns, angry and scared voices with the tense music - not nice for young ones to listen to routinely.

This. Ok the baby may not be able to grasp the intricacies of the plot, but they can sense a general atmosphere and be affected by it.

@AlwaysLatte

No, but at that age they are more tuned in to atmosphere/sounds etc than we are. They would definitely pick up on the negative things in the film.

No they wouldn't because they are not real,there are no emotions, it's a screen.

Real life is different as they can indeed pick up stress,anxiety,fear,distress from their care givers, or feel the effect of DV and constant shouting and things being thrown.

What's the difference between loud explosions in movies for example and fireworks outside?

@Tootsietoot

I remember watching bad Santa with my 3 month old he burst into tears at a violent bit and I felt terrible as it was very obviously a reaction.

It’s much more likely that you reacted to the film, however involuntarily or subtly, and your baby reacted to you.