To think it isn't always fake? (Facebook question)

[LemonSherbetFancy]

Felt friend was making a dig earlier.
I really enjoy facebook as I feel it helps us as a couple keep in touch with friends all over the country. We share quite a bit. Valentines photos, birthdays, holidays etc. Friend and I were discussing why she was coming off facebook and she said it was fake and a show off opportunity for many and that most of the couples posting photos aren't as happy as they seem.
Aibu to think she is not entirely correct? (DP and I are definitely happy which is why we share).
Sometimes I just wonder why people can't be happy for others and not assume that photos are fake and that everyone posting enjoyable moments is secretly deeply hating each other and life.

I think it’s true that people don’t post transcripts of their fights, pictures of their husbands ‘liking’ ‘pics’ of ‘girls’ on ‘Insta’ or pictures of them neglecting their pets. It’s definitely a selective lens through which to look at the life of another human being.

Everyone i know personally who do the gushing declarations on fb are not in happy relationships. It really is just all for show. I stepped away from fb and its the best thing I ever did

I think a lot of the time people use social medial in general as an PR opportunity to show off how happy / lucky / blessed they are because everything seems to be a completion these days but I also think a lot of people do share stuff because they just are generally happy.

You’ll always get bitter people who insist it’s just fake and others who actually are unhappy and posting to make themselves look and feel better but no point trying to work out who’s who

I agree that things you post on Facebook can be true to how you really feel, but also think that most people only share a select fraction of their lives.

Saying that, I can't stand an oversharer on Facebook!! The block button is my friend

Sometimes I just wonder why people can't be happy for others and not assume that photos are fake and that everyone posting enjoyable moments is secretly deeply hating each other and life.

Same here. There are some people who really use it to do what your friend said, but thenthere are normal people like me who share pics of their plants happy they are growing and not dying again few pics after holidays and so on. All my friends are the same. We just like to see what we are up to and it's bit of a happy place.

Is she single? She may be struggling particularly at the moment with loneliness and see other peoples Facebook is impacting her mental health (as a single person over lockdown I can tell you it's tough and not wanting to see other peoples relationship stuff doesnt necessarily mean she is bitter or not happy for you she just cant deal with it right now).
If your relationship is happy then that's great, you dont need validation from your friend.

She's right. No one is posting pictures of their washing basket overflowing, videos of their arguments or pictures of the dinners that were made up of what's left in the freezer before mum does the big shop tomorrow. Its only the good bits, the nice bits, the fun bits.

Why do you feel the need to share OP? If you've had a lovely valentines day meal out, had a great family day out or great holiday, why do you have to share it? Why not enjoy it on the face value of what it is?

I am only friends on social media with people I know in real life too. ALL of the couples who gush over each other on social media are the ones who are constantly arguing in real life.

Any platform whose purpose is to ensure the maximum number of people see what you choose to post without any discrimination made between who really needs or wants to see that information is by definition false. Unless you literally have 50 FB friends and they are all your immediate friends and family, a huge number of people who you want to see your post, you don’t want to see it purely because it’s a nice photo or whatever but because you are portraying something about yourself and your life.

This is an excellent explanation of the problem: waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways-to-be-insufferable-on-facebook.html

I mean it’s ‘fake’ in the sense that you only post the good parts of your life/relationship. But it doesn’t mean you’re unhappy in a relationship. I think those that say that are just jealous or trying to convince themselves that everyone else is as unhappy as them.

I like Facebook. It helps me keep up with my friends and family. I can ‘show off’ my life. Nothing wrong with that.

I share pictures for friends and family far away. I'll share the bad/funny as well as the good. I don't care if people block or hide me. If they don't want to see it I don't want them to either so it's fine. I'm happy knowing the people that want to see things are

Unless you literally have 50 FB friends and they are all your immediate friends and family
🙋
Does 76 count like that too? 😂

And I have only 20 on insta. Very strict about who I allow there. I am a different SM user breed, I guess

Why do you feel the need to share OP? If you've had a lovely valentines day meal out, had a great family day out or great holiday, why do you have to share it? Why not enjoy it on the face value of what it is?
Why does anyone take photos then? You want to share special, good, fun moments of your life with people. Doesn’t mean you aren’t enjoying it yourself.
I like to see photos of where my friends/acquaintances have been on holiday, days out etc. It’s nice.

My posts include funny cartoons, hockey, pictures of sea glass, trivia and history articles. Occasionally there are family photos, maybe three selfies a year.
I don't ever edit pics (I don't wear make up/dye hair/or ever duckpout) so what you see is what you get.
I don't post inspired shit, quotes or chain mails. I Snopes my posts if needed. I don't post political stuff, or vauge book , and I have never had a MLM business.
I don't know how much more real it could get?

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Unless you literally have 50 FB friends and they are all your immediate friends and family 🙋 Does 76 count like that too? 😂

If you genuinely have 76 close friends and family members who are all genuinely excited to see your holiday snaps, then yes. Personally I find that a) WhatsApp group would be more efficient for that and b) there are very few holiday snaps I’m genuinely excited to see, but each to their own.

Personally I find that a) WhatsApp group would be more efficient for that

Not if it includes 3 different languages and 5+ family units.😳
Yes. I genuinely have 76 family members and friends who I keep in touch all the time. We are slread in different countries so it's easier.

They say that people who post more about their partners are the most insecure in their relationship.

Not sure if that's true, I just remember reading it somewhere.

If I had friends who, in real life company, did nothing but declare how wonderful/ blessed etc they are, I would find them very very tedious, and would not want to hang out with them. Same goes for Facebook.

She is right. Nearly every person I know who over shares is in a bad marriage.

Also one of my friends used to post gushing posts to her DH on his birthday. He wasn’t even on Facebook. Weird. They lived together so why didn’t she just say it to him or write it in a card. They are divorced now.

Also one of my friends used to post gushing posts to her DH on his birthday. He wasn’t even on Facebook.

Now THAT is lame and ott

I know a loved up Facebook couple where the wife is still in love with another man. I'm cynical about all of it. I'm sure there are some couples where it's genuine, but how would you ever know which?

There’s sharing and then there’s sharing though isn’t there?

Posting a picture of your puppy/a place where you went for a day out/the kids is just sharing IMO.

When you start posting that “x is feeling blessed with the love of my life,” combined with the picture of the meal you went out for and an explanation of how you have now been together for 76 days and 4 hours you need to ask the question.... who are you trying to convince.

My personal view is that gushing on facebook isn’t dissimilar to people who have big weddings. The bigger and more expensive the wedding, the shorter time the marriage lasts IME.

I knew someone who shared every moment of her pregnancy from the day she announced it. Pictures of her bump/talk about how she was having a coffee and “bump is getting really lively/he likes ice cream/he’s a bit sleepy today.” It got to the point that most people actually hid her on facebook because they were so sick of seeing it. And then when the baby was born he was seriously ill and taken to SCBU. She of course put that on facebook, but because so many people had hidden her, they didn’t know for days so she literally didn’t get any supportive responses.

@AlternativePerspective
#makingmemories #thatone #blessed
😂

You are absolutely right. There is sharing and then there is sharing.

i hope her baby was ok

Just as my best friend’s marriage imploded - his affair and domestic abuse all came to a head - both their FB feeds presented a loving perfect couple. No one is going to put their life falling apart on social media.