To think it isn't always fake? (Facebook question)

[LemonSherbetFancy]

Felt friend was making a dig earlier.
I really enjoy facebook as I feel it helps us as a couple keep in touch with friends all over the country. We share quite a bit. Valentines photos, birthdays, holidays etc. Friend and I were discussing why she was coming off facebook and she said it was fake and a show off opportunity for many and that most of the couples posting photos aren't as happy as they seem.
Aibu to think she is not entirely correct? (DP and I are definitely happy which is why we share).
Sometimes I just wonder why people can't be happy for others and not assume that photos are fake and that everyone posting enjoyable moments is secretly deeply hating each other and life.

[quote Sobeyondthehills]@SchrodingersImmigrant

I only watch extra slice incase it ever comes up.[/quote]
I REALLY want to see the picture now😂

@SchrodingersImmigrant I wish I could but I put a photo of my cat up and got identified by a friend. The cake is very outing

Awwwww damn. 😂 Next time then

OP I'm sure not everyone who shares on Facebook is unhappy really and I don't doubt that you are happy and content

But, everyone I know personally who gushes over Facebook about their relationships are in fact dysfunctional and unhappy relationships.

I do think there is an element of insecurity in oversharing on social media. I don't use it but I do very occasionally still look at my Facebook feed as I have messenger to stay in touch with some friends and foreign relatives.

I just don't personally correlate my happiness with sharing it with others and especially not on social media. But I don't necessarily think all people who share are secretly unhappy; it's just natural or habit for people to share and that's fine

In the same breath though I do think that social media portrayals of life can be unhealthy for both the shares and the viewer. It's an unnatural view of human life and can cause feelings of inadequacy and competitiveness.

Take no notice OP! Happy people are generally happy for their friends, miserable people relish in the thought that others are unhappy... Being positive and upbeat on social media doesn’t make you fake. I would rather see those posts than all the depressive woe is me attention seeking posts!

Not fake necessarily, but for show offs definitely. I’ve blocked people a few times when it gets too much, it’s the constant ‘look what I have, look where I’ve been, look look look’ that gets a bit much.

Do people really need to see your Valentines card for example?

My cousin put photos of her child’s birthday presents on and when someone said wow lucky kid she gave a run-down of everything she had bought and how much it cost then did the same for Christmas .

How sad is this thread? DH and I have a really happy life together. We don't argue or fight. Now I'm wondering if I should fake grumpy posts about him to make us seem real to the misery guts on here.

Yep. A really depressing thread, god forbid, you have a happy relationship and want to show that on social media.

Will remember the advice on here next time we go on holiday or have a more special none mundane day to make sure not to post pictures or say how lucky I feel in case it's accused of being fake

A pic or two isn't bragging or gushing though.

But a long gushing post about how amazing someone's partner is and multiple pictures? You can be about 90% certain they won't be together in about 6-12 months.

If you loved someone that much why not tell them to their face? Why tell the world?

I enjoy Facebook, especially the videos and memes my friends and family post. Some things are a bit cringey at times but I just keep scrolling or hide it. I think the only thing that does bother me is how rude and/or nasty people are on there in the comments sections but I feel that about most social media.

@CakeRequired why not both? I like showing how great my fiancé (been together for almost 9 years) is. It's not bragging or showing off it's simply showing how incredibly lucky I am. And if I am on Holiday or disney it will be more then a couple of pictures. Never thought a few selfies with mickey and minnie ears and having a peter pan or frozen ice cream would be this controversial

But a long gushing post about how amazing someone's partner is and multiple pictures? You can be about 90% certain they won't be together in about 6-12 months.

Oh what a load of bullshit. Oh so your allowed one photo but ‘multiple’ gushing happy photos and that’s it must be fake and only last 6-12 months! 😂😂😂 Wow what a load of jealous spiteful venom 🐍

@CakeRequired believe it or not some people are actually happy in their relationships and marriages

I don’t know anyone who gushes about their partner what does that mean?!

I found a friend snogging someone else at a party, the very same day she'd posted about how wonderful her husband was and how fortunate she was to have him. She now has a child with OM and is still posting about how wonderful he is and how lucky she is only now about someone else.

I'm not sure who she was trying to convince, then or now.

I think there is always a degree of artificiality with Facebook. People may well post photos to show moments of genuine happiness and joy, but few post the corresponding moments of stress, misery, grief etc.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that per se, but it can lead others to assume everything is always sunshine and roses when it’s not.

I agree Cake, but as ever if you comment about any gushy or braggy behaviour there's always people who get defensive, miss the point in a spectacular fashion and say things like 'oooh look how jealous/envious everyone is of me... so nobody should ever say anything happy ever'.

It's like they can't bear to comprehend there is a difference between sharing nice things and endless gushing/bragging, and they definitely don't want to accept nobody has an issue with sharing nice things because that would pop their self-absorbed bubble where they genuinely believe everyone is jealous of them.

Pikachubaby
Gushing is like over the top wittering on about how amazing your partner is, how perfect they are, look at the meal they cooked me, look at this present they got me, oh I'm so lucky to have such a perfect partner, having an amazing date night with this one, here's a photo of us kissing, here's a photo of us on the sofa...snuggling with the hubby, here is a throwback photo of us, here's a photo I'm loading at random from one of our holidays because we love each other, did I mention we love each other so very very much.

Quite a lot of people find thay behaviour amusing and a bit silly.
Those who do it will claim it's so sad that nobody likes seeing happy couples, that people are jealous of their amazing hubby, that people are super envious of them, and say "so nobody can ever post anything happy ".

There must be someone on this thread who does the weekly selfie which is

1. identical to the previous
2. gorgeous
3. using a filter hence the above (nearly always by people who are actually gorgeous anyway without Snapchat)
4. duck pout

Please can you tell me why you do it?

Is it me or is it only really photogenic couples who do this?

I think lots of it is very fake. The ridiculous over filtered pictures in poses where some of their friends fall over themselves to say how gorgeous/beautiful/ etc they are - likes hunting - I mean bump into them in the day/night out and look nothing like the pictures on twatbook.

@LemonSherbetFancy

Yep. A really depressing thread, god forbid, you have a happy relationship and want to show that on social media.

The sad truth, is that no one cares whether you have a happy relationship or not, except you. So enjoy it. You don't have to document it or prove it on social media. Most people who see it probably couldn't care less. I'm not saying that in a mean way, it's the truth. Other people's relationships are irrelevant.

Do you also post about disagreements? Money struggles? Mental health problems? Doubt it.

DP's ex used to share pictures of everything they did. Shouting out look at us/me how we do this/this and this.... a front for a poor relationship. They weren't happy and unsuited to each other. It was a bit sad really. Now she posts pictures of her 'fur babies'

I have an ex colleague who does this. Honestly, from the pics I thought she must have had "work" done, but no, actually the picture bear no resemblance to what she actually looks like She looks fine, but not like the woman half her age she appears to be in the numerous photos.

@LemonSherbetFancy

Yep. A really depressing thread, god forbid, you have a happy relationship and want to show that on social media.

Why is it SO important for you to tell others how good it is though....social media sharing.... great you have a great relationship but why the need to share you think it is so great - is it really ..... why do you care so much what others think of your 'relationship'?