Child wants to be vegetarian

[NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom]

A bit of a tough one. My youngest (9) wants to be vegetarian because he doesn’t want to eat animals as it makes him sad. We’ve raised animals for meat all his life but for some reason, seeing the Christmas turkeys in their field on his way to and from school each day is making him really upset.

My problem is that in order to ensure he gets a decent amount of protein and the vitamins/minerals that he currently gets from meat, I’m going to have to do a lot of extra cooking just for him. I have Crohn’s, and so does my eldest, so we can’t eat most beans/pulses and many other foods that are common in a vegetarian diet. Also, none of us can tolerated Quorn!

I will have to cook two separate meals every day in order to accommodate my DS becoming veggie. He grows like a weed and is always on the go so he’s really quite skinny so can’t afford to lose any weight.
I’m not against vegetarianism in the slightest - we’d have veggie meals more often as a family if my DD and I could stomach them. We try to counteract this by eating meat that is either raised by us or ethically sourced.

DH and I work full time so don’t have time to be cooking two separate meals every night. I also suffer with chronic fatigue due to my Crohn’s so generally use the weekends to try and recover from my working week.

AIBU to try and persuade my DS to hold off being veggie until he’s a bit older?

I think its good to let them know their opinions are important and that you have listened to him.

You could try pesuading him. Could you make sure you get free range and organic? But i would def look up more about veggetarian diet I am sure there are Crohn sufferers who are vegetarian. look up the vegetarian society.

Yes there are Crohn’s sufferers who are veggie but it’s very much a spectrum disease and you have to find what works for you and what you can’t eat. There aren’t many Crohn’s sufferers able to follow a balanced vegetarian diet.

Yes, we have listened to him and explained why it would be difficult for us to accommodate as a family. We’ve said he’s welcome to have veggie breakfasts and lunches.

All our meat is raised by us (free range and organic) or bought locally from similar sources.

Have a look on the vegetarian socially website for resources.
Protein isn't much of an issue - most veggie diet get adequate protein easily, and the same with other vitamins and minerals. Providing a balanced veggie diet is pretty easy.

What do you usually cook? Can you give us a weekly meal plan? Then we can offer specific tailored substitutions

I would let him be veggie.
I have some far stretching slow cooker recipes that would take the pain out of cooking two meals as you Chuck it in.
Maybe see it as an opportunity for him to learn to cook?
Also, it’s easy to replace the nutritional stuff in meet with veggies.
I would look at soups etc first that you all can stomach.
FYI- we’re mostly veggie and my partner has crohns so I know it isn’t the easiest. He did get a book about it which had many veggie answers. I’ll see if I can dig it out.

9 year olds can cook their own dinners a lot of the time and when you cook meals, do all the non meat bits first then separate his before you put the meat in and put the alternative in his or give him a larger amount of the non meat stuff. Besides I'm sure you have non meat meals all the time and don't even think about it

Let him he veggie he may well get fed up with it. But honestly it doesn't take that much work to substitute meat for something else

I think it would be unreasonable to insist that he eats meat if he has an ethical objection. I suspect that this decision is a direct result of the fact that he has seen you raising animals for meat at home, because there is no way of avoiding the reality of it when it's right in front of you.

I understand that it's difficult but I think you need to find a way of making it work. It shouldn't always be necessary to cook two entirely separate meals. He's obviously a bit young to cater for himself, but he could also learn to do quite a lot of the extra work.

My DD dId this we did make her wait until she was nearly 11 though!!

I would batch cook and freeze meals for him quorn bolog/ sheps pie / chilli pretty much from the same base. Just sub meat sausages for veggie. Same with burgers, veggie pies frozen in Aldi.

I do say she has to have fish occasionally though.

Can he get involved in cooking some of his own meals? You could also batch cook things like veggie chilli with lentils to make 4-5 meals just for him to be eaten over a few weeks, then the same with other dishes, rather than cook him a separate meal every night. I often have to make different meals as my DH eats meat (usually he just gets what he's given but at least 3x a week I decide to be nice and make him something he will really enjoy), me and the kids are veggie (eldest is mostly vegan) and DSD is incredibly fussy and only eats one specific brand of chicken nuggets or fish fingers, with skinny fries. So I totally get how annoying it is having to cook for a lot of different tastes!

I wanted to be veggie from age 7 and my parents didn't let me and it caused me so, so much upset, I used to try just eating the veggie parts of whatever meal they made but I was constantly hungry and would end up eating meat then crying my eyes out later feeling awful, sometimes I would end up being sick. They kept it up for about a year before realising it was causing too much upset and letting me be veggie at around 8.5. I can honestly say that's the only part of my childhood I hate to look back on, was a miserable bloody year.

Can't you batch cook a few meals that are freezable? Make some sauces. Curry, bolognese etc, then a meat for the meat eaters, and add veggies to your sons, chickpeas in the curry etc.

So typical weekly menu:
Chile con carne (minus the beans)
Toad in the hole and cauliflower cheese
Thai baked chicken and rice
Roast dinner
Kedgeree
Homemade minestrone soup/stew with bread (this is veggie)
Basque chicken (like paella but with chicken)

I would ask him how he is going to make it work. Explaining your time and energy limitations, and ask him for suggestions (realistic ones) as to how he is going to make it work, or help make it work. Put it back onto him. I realise that he is only nine, however, this is a very big ask of you, and I think it's fine to show him, and ask him to share, any pain as a result of his choice.

You need to try and give it a go OP, like a pp said just cook the meat separately then add it to everyone else’s meals.

My parents let me go vegetarian when I was 12, one week before Christmas and there were a LOT less veggie foods around 32 years ago (still vegetarian now)

Drawer in the freezer full of meat substitutes will take five minutes to cook. Batch cook a set of veggie minces/bolognese for the days a meat substitute wouldn’t work. A discussion about the fact he must eat all fruit and veg given to help with a healthy diet.

Incredibly easy to do. I think it would be awfully cruel to make him eat food thats upsetting him.

There are so many veggie products out there now beyond quorn! Can’t you give him veggie substitutes in whatever you’re having? Eg sub him veggie sausages, chickpeas or whatever in place of meat rather than cooking two separate meals.

Can you also get him involved in the cooking? It doesn’t seem fair on him to be forced to eat meat because you and your DD have Crohns. He’s old enough now to know what he wants, but he’s also old enough to help out with the extra work it will create.

Oh bless him, good for him.
I cook veggie and non veggie everyday, so I definitely say go for it.
It'll be hard to start with, finding what works with your diet but you'll soon get into the swing of things.

@NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom

So typical weekly menu: Chile con carne (minus the beans) Toad in the hole and cauliflower cheese Thai baked chicken and rice Roast dinner Kedgeree Homemade minestrone soup/stew with bread (this is veggie) Basque chicken (like paella but with chicken)

Ok my suggestions would be:

Chile non carne (with the beans) and soy mince if he cannot tolerate quorn. Prep is essentially the same for both but make in 2 pans
Toad in the hole and cauliflower cheese
Easy sub for veggie sausages and everything else the same, just make his portion separately
Thai baked chicken and rice - sub tofu, tempeh, or another protein
Roast dinner as above, or add in a couple of veggie sausages, veggie wellington etc
Kedgeree depending on whether he's vegetarian or pescetarian (perhaps a compromise?) this could stay the same
Homemade minestrone soup/stew with bread (this is veggie)
Basque chicken (like paella but with chicken) substitute soy pieces

If he's pescetarian rather than vegetarian it's even easier as you can sub a salmon or cod fillet for protein.

Also don't forget eggs, cheese, nuts etc.

Have a look at the veggie section in the frozen food aisle- you may be surprised at how many options there are

That menu is pretty easy to adapt without too much extra effort.
Veg chilli can be made alongside meat chilli -make a big batch and freeze some.
Veg sausage in separate mini toad
Quorn fillet baked separately
A meat substitute to go with the usual roast trimmings.
Will he still eat fish?
Separate pan with quorn or beans/pulses but same base as the meat version.

Vegetarian chili. (as a family or batch cook so he can have a potion and rest freeze.)
Toad in the whole with vege sausages. Yes you can do a seperate porion but hardly hard work.
I know some vegetarians happy having the roast just no meat.
For emergencies rade the veg section inthe supermarket freezer.

I think you're examples meals are very easy to make veggie. When you're cooking chilli con carne, have two pans on the hob. Half onions in one, half in the other. When you chuck the meat in one pan chuck lentils in the other. With kedgeree, just don't mix in the fish to some of it at the end and add an extra boiled egg. Its really not difficult or a hassle.

@NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom

So typical weekly menu: Chile con carne (minus the beans) Toad in the hole and cauliflower cheese Thai baked chicken and rice Roast dinner Kedgeree Homemade minestrone soup/stew with bread (this is veggie) Basque chicken (like paella but with chicken)

Chilli: cook one pot of sauce and the mince separately, then to serve add sauce to mince for you and add it to kidney beans/veggie mince for him. Toad in the hole: make his with veggie sausages Roast dinner: put a nut cutlet or veggie sausages in for him instead of meat Kedgeree: cook the fish separately and add to yours when serving Paella: same as kedgeree. DS could have Linda McCartney chorizo or some chicken style pieces I also make stir fry and add tofu to mine and meat to DP’s using this ‘add it at the plate’ tactic. It’s even easier with something self assembly like fajitas!

Sorry missed that he cannot tolerate quorn! Veterinari’s suggestions are good.

@june2007

You could try pesuading him. Could you make sure you get free range and organic? But i would def look up more about veggetarian diet I am sure there are Crohn sufferers who are vegetarian. look up the vegetarian society.

Pretty much impossible to eat a healthy balanced vegetarian diet with any form of IBD! I'm sure there are some that are vegan/vegetarian but seeing as most protein sources are not advisable to eat, due to high fodmaps, it's VERY hard to be veggie. I tried it and was basically eating potatoes and rice.

My dd (10) also wants to be vegetarian- she's a big meat eater usually. I've explained that I'm not cooking different meals for her, so she can just have what we have and leave the meat. When she's old enough to cook her own food (and tidy up!) she can eat what she wants.