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Original poster

Meeting girlfriend Christmas Day

213 replies

Hm28 · 18/11/2020 12:28

Husband’s brother (who has only bothered to visit my 6 month old twice since born) wants to bring his new girlfriend over for Christmas Day. We’ve never met her and only heard from relatives that he even has a new girlfriend. Only know he wants to bring her as I asked my MIL today and she said he plans to. Am I wrong to not want to join our family Christmas and the first with my son? I feel like it will take away from the day and I won’t be as relaxed as have a stranger in my house for the day. Not particularly close to my BIL and he’s very self involved so know they day will be all about her.
Obviously the is only if Covid restrictions allow!

OP posts:
beavisandbutthead · 18/11/2020 20:15

If your hosting christmas during a pandemic then it would seem reasonable to be clear who is coming. Assuming your in the UK where many areas are in lockdown her attending or even the BIL seems low. I wouldnt be having a stranger turn up to my home for christmas lunch. His GF could be a complete arsehole, so would seem sensible that you at least meet beforehand. As for the OP DH he doesnt care as he doesnt have to deal with the DC, or the meal preparation and wants to ensure he is not seen as a bad guy in his family eyes...what a surprise

Ginfordinner · 18/11/2020 20:25

His GF could be a complete arsehole, so would seem sensible that you at least meet beforehand.

Equally, she could be really nice, but the suggestion of meeting beforehand is a good one.

beavisandbutthead · 18/11/2020 20:30

agree Ginfordinner

LEELULUMPKIN · 18/11/2020 20:30

Nice to see the true Christmas spirit is alive and well in you OP.

Imagine if Mary had told the shepherds to piss off as she had never met them before?

LouiseTrees · 18/11/2020 20:36

I would say “ as it’s the baby’s first Chris we are just doing us and the grandparents this year. Will extend out to siblings perhaps next year. Happy for you to visit over the festive period though” or something like that.

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 20:44

I think it's weird you wouldn't want him to bring his girlfriend. Are you jealous or something? Are you insecure. I don't see the issue

Also you saying that your husbands brother has "only bothered" to see your child twice....and?
It's not his child.. 6 months isn't even that long at least he's actually made an effort my own brother didn't see my son until he was around 9/10 months old. People have there own lives the world doesn't revolve around you.

Whenwemeet · 18/11/2020 20:44

@LouiseTrees what if the DB is the only family member left out then? It doesn’t seem like there are more siblings. It seems pretty unfair ‘we’re taking your parents but you’re not welcome so you can spend it on your own with your GF’ how lovely....

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 20:45

Not to mention we've been in lockdown twice now since like April or whenever it was. Complaining that he's seen them twice in 6 months sorry but that's standard for me

BlueThistles · 18/11/2020 20:45

I think it's weird you wouldn't want him to bring his girlfriend. Are you jealous or something? Are you insecure. I don't see the issue

OP's never even met her yet FFS !? I'd be more insecure about COVID 🙄

Whenwemeet · 18/11/2020 20:49

@BlueThistles you’re the only one going on about covid. OP made no reference to it - all about how it’ll take attention away from her baby if girlfriend is there

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 20:51

@BlueThistles she's not bothered about COVID..... your comment is irrelevant stop begging it

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 20:56

I think that she just wants to be the only girl there and wants to be the centre of attention that day. I think she's jealous of another girl coming into the family and doesn't want to accept her. I think that she wants everything to revolve around her and her new baby, doesn't want anyone else to take away the shine, and wants all the attention on her And not the excitement of the family meeting the brothers new girlfriend who I'm sure isn't as self centred And weird as this one. Probably feels threatened. I think she will feel left out and unimportant so she doesn't want her to come. 🙂 it's childish behaviour for a grown arse woman

MacDuffsMuff · 18/11/2020 21:06

Season of goodwill and all that ...

BlueThistles · 18/11/2020 21:34

Okay.. I'll stop mentioning Covid ...

but as a final comment... I think OP is being a fool to allow it. Flowers

OchonAgusOchonO · 18/11/2020 21:49

@babybumpxox - I think that she just wants to be the only girl there and wants to be the centre of attention that day. I think she's jealous of another girl coming into the family and doesn't want to accept her.

I would assume as the op is married with a child she is more than likely over 18 and therefore a woman, not a girl.

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 21:53

@OchonAgusOchonO well she's not a boy is she 🙂 it's the same thing stop begging for an argument you dyer

AriesTheRam · 18/11/2020 21:57

We've not seen our 1 year old nephew in a few months and he lives 5 mins away.Nothing personal at all hes lovely,uts just the way its worked out with life and covid thats all.

OchonAgusOchonO · 18/11/2020 22:00

well she's not a boy is she 🙂 it's the same thing stop begging for an argument you dyer

Not really the same. One is an adult, the other a child.

Yeahnahmum · 18/11/2020 22:05

Your dh brother came to see the baby TWICE in six months eventhough there is a pandamic and in general men dont really care about tiny infants? I applaud his efforts 😊 pretty awesome.

And stop being so U about Christmas ..this whole year has been shit. The more the merrier. This is not your kids birthday! This is Christmas. ..a time now more then ever to celebrate family, love, togetherness and happiness.

Just invite dh brother and gf over before christmas. Or initiate a zoom meeting.

But stop with your negativety. You are not helping anyone. Try to be open minded and openhearted

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 22:12

@OchonAgusOchonO kind of is 🙂 boy and girl is a gender not an age darling

OchonAgusOchonO · 18/11/2020 22:16

@babybumpxox - boy and girl is a gender not an age darling

Maybe have a look at a dictionary before making statements like that....

babybumpxox · 18/11/2020 22:19

This reply has been deleted

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Calmandmeasured1 · 18/11/2020 22:25

Personally, I wouldn't want a stranger coming to spend Christmas day in my home because:

  1. It's my house and I decide who I issue invitations to.
  2. You don't know what she is like and whether she complies with Covid rules. She may be meeting up with all and sundry and could bring Covid into your home.
LouiseTrees · 18/11/2020 22:26

[quote Whenwemeet]@LouiseTrees what if the DB is the only family member left out then? It doesn’t seem like there are more siblings. It seems pretty unfair ‘we’re taking your parents but you’re not welcome so you can spend it on your own with your GF’ how lovely....[/quote]
Just have it as a family of 3 then ( or if the OP has other kids then too obviously) without the mother in law. The brother however should be glad he has anyone to spend Christmas with. Some people don’t.

Myohmy111 · 18/11/2020 22:26

I think that she just wants to be the only girl there and wants to be the centre of attention that day. I think she's jealous of another girl coming into the family and doesn't want to accept her. I think that she wants everything to revolve around her and her new baby, doesn't want anyone else to take away the shine, and wants all the attention on her And not the excitement of the family meeting the brothers new girlfriend who I'm sure isn't as self centred And weird as this one. Probably feels threatened. I think she will feel left out and unimportant so she doesn't want her to come. 🙂 it's childish behaviour for a grown arse woman

I think Babybump is spot on.

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