I don't want to buy my SIL's boyfriend a Christmas present.

[NameChangeMillionthTime]

SIL is bringing her BF to our house for Boxing Day lunch (Covid permitting) along with MIL. I've battled with presents for these 2 for years as in, I am the one who shleps round the shops looking for their presents, they have massive high expectations and I have never once received a gift from them aside from a half dead bunch of flowers on my 40th. For example, I once didn't ask SIL what she wanted for Christmas and instead bought her some very nice smellies and MIL told me it was a rubbish present and her DD deserved better than that.

SIL now buys something for my DC, but puts in little effort and has never, ever bought me a present. She is 50, not a hard up teenager.

I am preempting this and hypothesising but I just know that I am going to get told that in addition to what she wants, her boyfriend wants this to that. This will be on top of the food and booze I will have paid for and spent 6 hours cooking.

I really, really do not want to buy my SIL's BF a Christmas present. Not sure if this is a question or just a rant.

Bloody don’t buy for either! They sound AWFUL! Surely feeding and watering them is gift enough?!

Fuck that op.

Stand up against this nonsense.

I wouldn't buy for either of them! No chance.

Isn’t it up to your OH anyway?

Also, what is your DH's stancr on all this ? 😏

Why are you even having them in your house. Honestly, if you behave like a doormat, people will walk all over you. Locate your spine and put a stop to this nonsense

Not a chance. Time for your partner to step up.

Honestly I wouldn't even be cooking for them. Did you invite them or has it been assumed that you will host?

She can expect what she likes, that doesn't compel you to buy for either of them. Why would you?

If they want things, they can buy them for themselves. They can also bring you a hosting gift. If you feel compelled to buy them something, although I don't understand why you would, then a token box of biscuits or bottle of fizz (not champagne, a nice cremant or something, will cost a tenner, if that) is more than sufficient.

It isn’t obligatory. No need to bother if you don’t want to. But then neither is it this guy’s fault that you have a rubbish relationship with your in-laws and it’s probably awkward enough for him anyway to be there without you showing any additional resentment.

Why are they all coming in the first place? It doesn’t sound like any of you much enjoy each other's company.

You might find you can't host other households this year anyway, but it shouldn't take a pandemic for you to be able to tell CFs and their expectations where to go.

Get the DC to make her and MiL something. And "don't forget your mum and sister are coming for Christmas DH!"

Why doesn't your husband buy these presents?

Just. Say. No.

Why don’t you get out ahead of it and say no presents this year and tell them what to bring on Boxing Day?

Get them nothing.
Or
Your dp should be buying their gifts then if they don't like them you can point your mil in his direction.
When your mil complained about your gift to sil you should have asked what her opinion was on the gift sil had bought for you. That would have stumped her.

If they never get you anything, put zero effort in and you're already cooking Christmas Dinner for them they can hardly complain about a lack of present.
I'd just get a nice box of chocolates or something between them.

Isn't this your DH's responsibility? Not to be flippant, but I have never bought my DP's siblings anything and never occured to me to do so....he buys their gifts, I buy for my family. And I never buy anything over the top for adults (spend 10-20, usually a bottle of wine and/or chocolates). Other than for my mum, I get carried away with her presents...

I am another who wouldn't buy for any of them. If they say anything, ask where your gift is from them!

Your DP either needs to sort out his own family or they get nowt.

Every year DH and I have the same argument with my DH. The problem is that they buy my DC presents, even though they put no thought into it. I really don't like my SIL very much. I think she is very spoilt and entitled. She honestly expects DH and I to be her surrogate Father Christmas and come up with lovey presents for her every year and gets in a massive sulk. She usually sends me a note saying "I'd really like this for Christmas but understand if it is too much money" or she will send me links to 3 things and say something like "I can't choose between these things". She is the ultimate CF'er and sorry to say I find it hard to stand up to this as my MIL kicks off if we don't humour her as she is mainly single (this is the latest BF) and apparently doesn't get loads of presents. Well, TBH after I have bought my DC's presents, in-laws and my DF plus food to entertain them, we can't afford to buy ME and DH any presents so I don't get any either.

Every year I hate Christmas because of this shit and now there is another person in the mix.

Personally I'd buy sil the same smellies every year just to make a point.

You buy them all food and drink leaving yourself so short that you can't afford to buy your husband a gift?!

Wtf?

Why are you buying the presents announce loudly that your husband will be in charge of their parents from now on seriously don't let him off load this crap onto you. Not being arsed seems like a family trait

That sounds awful OP. I honestly wouldn't have them in my house.

Wow, that's some next level CFery right there. CFs should be taking notes, this woman is something else.

If your DH wants her to have a present because she buys for your DC, why the ever-loving fuck is it your job to organize it? Tell him flat out that you will not do it, and that he will need to step up if he thinks that it is appropriate.

Does she buy him a present by any chance?

Don't do it, let your DH do it. Don 't be a martyr.

Or sack off all adult present exchanges and if you have to do a secret Santa, but I wouldn't even do that on Boxing Day.

Why are you buying food to entertain them, let them host you.

She is a CF and your MIL is too. I am shocked a grown woman send you a list of things she wants. If she does it this year you send a text saying we are not doing presents this year. If there not happy cancel the Boxing Day invite