To be absolutely dreading a call that my step children's bubble has to isolate

[PuddinThePuffin]

Because I know it'll be me, the only one WFH, who'll be expected to 'pitch in' and look after them so their parents can go to work.

I know it might make sense. I know it's better that their parents are still able to work but I am absolutely dreading it (if it happens). It's already happened to a lot of my friends children and I'm just expecting it any time.

I know for a fact that neither my husband or their mum will want to take two weeks off work and all eyes will be on me to offer considering I'm at home.

Just say no? Or say you’ll do some but not all of it.

How old are they?
What’s your relationship like with them?

Tbh I wouldn’t want my child staying with someone who is absolutely “dreading” being with them. So you never know, you might get lucky and an alternative is found.

Why hasn't this been addressed when schools went back?

I know I'm work from home but I do hope you and Meryl know I'm not having the children of they go onto quarantine? I have a job to do too

It's difficult because unless you are financially supporting yourself, you also benefit from your oh working.

I think it would be fair that mum takes one of the two weeks off though.

Tbh I wouldn’t want my child staying with someone who is absolutely “dreading” being with them. So you never know, you might get lucky and an alternative is found

Ahh, I must let my friends know who are also dreading the call from their own children's school how awful they all are 🤣 isn't everyone dreading getting this call at the moment? Most parents I know are!

I can say no of course. But it'll cause a drama no doubt.

@dontdisturbmenow

It's difficult because unless you are financially supporting yourself, you also benefit from your oh working.

I think it would be fair that mum takes one of the two weeks off though.

But there's no indication Mom is single, she may also have a partner contributing financially

It's difficult because unless you are financially supporting yourself, you also benefit from your oh working

I financially support myself in that I have a full time job yes.

Err, the W in WFH means Working - how would you have time? The word you are looking for is No....At the very least negotiate a position you are broadly ok with and stick to it, if you cave you only have yourself to blame don’t you..

state your position clearly NOW! you might be working from home but you are actually still working! not twiddling your thumbs. tell your husband that if the bubble bursts you wont be available for any childcare. they have two parents. so what if they don't want to take two weeks off work?? no one does! but that's life for every parent right now. they need to do it. you arent childcare. and certainly not free childcare! why would your work be any less of a priority than the actual parents' work? be firm OP.

I can and will say no (or at least not the whole time), but I'm just dreading the 'all eyes on me' being made to feel terrible if I do situation that I know will likely occur.

Well you definitely shouldn’t have to do it - and certainly not all of it. Maybe the odd day that the parents can’t take off work you could be with them while they have a TV day, but it’s not your job at all!

I can’t imagine thinking that my exh’s fiancée would have my kids if they had to isolate (I mean aside from she’s a hospital doctor so definitely couldn’t - but if she WFH). Not her job!

But I know how you feel - at the start of term I was massively dreading either of my two being sent home - I’ve relaxed a bit now as it hasn’t happened yet so I’ve ploughed in with work. It would be fine for my yr 7 kid but not the y2 one!

I have WFH for the last 15 years. I lost count of the people who assume I'm not actually doing anything and would turn up on the doorstep or expect favours "because you're at home".

Just say no. It's get easier the more you say it.

Well your employer may not allow you to wfh and care for children at the same time , many don't .
Failing that I think you're just going to have to make your position clear to both of them.

Depends how old/needy they are imo. DD is off today and it makes no difference to me at all.

@AmandaHoldensLips

I have WFH for the last 15 years. I lost count of the people who assume I'm not actually doing anything and would turn up on the doorstep or expect favours "because you're at home".

Just say no. It's get easier the more you say it.

Honestly. I often feel pretty put upon by both of them and its only gotten worse since I've been WFH. I do say no sometimes. But I'm made to feel unreasonable if I do.

Me 'helping out' seems to be the equivalent of them never having to take any time out themselves it feels like.

How old is the DC?

You are not a nanny! The person who they usually live with is the person who should be at home with them if they have to isolate. If that's their DF then HE has to stay at home at look after them, you are working so how can you possibly look after two children. Unless they're teens who can look after themselves you are not being unreasonable to say NO

They are old enough where one alone would be okay as you could likely leave them to it to watch a film or play games. But both together can end up a nightmare (very close in age). They argue all the time, I feel like we can't go 5 minutes sometimes without a fall out, it's not how I want to spend my days for 2 weeks whilst also working!

you work from
Home! work! You can’t work and look after them squabbling!

If you feel like taking a day a week off to help that’s lovely but I’d be leaving the other 4 days a week to them to split between them.

I dont currently work and I worry about a two week isolation needing to be done. I can understand lockdown, as difficult as it is, but two weeks at home whilst my child steadily climbs the walls is not my idea of fun. It would be so much less so if the children weren't my own and I had my own work to do! Its up to you to find your backbone on the matter, if it ever happens.

It does depend on how old they are.
If I was you I just wouldn’t offer whilst ‘all eyes were on me’ just keep Schaumburg, and if asked directly say it would be extremely difficult then nothing else, then if asked directly again I’d say what can you do yourself as well, basically make it very clear you aren’t up for 2 weeks childcare whilst working.

Bit of an awkward one OP as it literally isn't your responsibility, but you're at home so no doubt they will think you're the most convenient option. FWIW I dread getting the message re isolation as well, every time I get a text my stomach drops 🤣🤣 I WFH as well but absolutely cannot work while looking after my 2 DC. When my 4yo had to isolate my DM looked after her. You will have to say no or at best do some sort of share. I wouldn't WFH while looking after 2DC while DH swanned off to work anyway but we would share if that's the only option - and they are my DC not someone else's!

*Schaumburg should be ‘schtum’ as in keep quiet!

Er, no.

If children have to stay off school to isolate, one of their parents has to stay off work to be there . Employers understand that.

If you’re actually working from home and not just ‘at home’ why would would you have to disrupt your working day when you’re not their parent? And if you agree then there’s no point moaning about it.