Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what I should do about my cleaner

228 replies

Crinkletinkle · 03/11/2020 09:38

So I've just got a message from my cleaner saying she had come to my house to clean but it was in such a messy state that she walked out, and that she has decided to finish working for me.

Background is - she has been cleaning weekly for me for just over a year. I normally spend about about 20 minutes tidying things away prior to her coming though sometimes I don't if I run out of time. She hasn't mentioned it previously if I haven't tidied. She blitzes the house for a couple of hours and then if there is time she'll do extra things eg folding washing or changing sheets. She does a fantastic job and I really like her. I work full time with a long commute and am a single mum, so I really appreciate having a great cleaner.

She had a death in the family 3 weeks ago and messaged me saying she was not up to cleaning. I messaged back saying I hoped she was ok and to take the time she needed.

She hadn't texted to let me know she was coming this week so I'd assumed she wasn't. The house was definitely less tidy than it normally is - we had had friends with 4 extra children under 6 staying over during the weekend so furniture had been moved, there were still toys in the living room and pots and pans soaking in the kitchen. I'd planned to have a tidy up the previous evening but we'd had a car accident and I didn't get a chance.

She is a great cleaner and I hate the process of finding a new cleaner. I don't want to put her under more stress though. Would it be pushy to ask her to reconsider?

OP posts:
Thesheerrelief · 03/11/2020 09:42

I would message her to apologise and explain that you'd had lots of guests at the weekend plus a car accident and you didn't think she was coming today. Say that you'd be grateful if she'd reconsider as you really value her help then leave it at that.

contrmary · 03/11/2020 09:43

Cleaner walks out because she might have to actually do some cleaning?! Honestly, you're better off without her.

willitbetonight · 03/11/2020 09:45

I would say she's been wanting to quit for a while. Cut your losses - you'll always feel embarrassed after this.

fishtankhelp · 03/11/2020 09:47

She's quit, leave her alone

samuraimyths · 03/11/2020 09:47

Second what @Thesheerelief said. Perhaps end up saying in the message that you would love to follow up with a chat too on the phone.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 09:49

Then she quit. Personally I would just ignore her and hire a new cleaner. How dare she speak to you like that? I wouldn’t dream of begging her to reconsider.

Treacletreacle · 03/11/2020 09:54

I'm a cleaner and I must admit some customers have left right messes for me to clean up. I have only once told someone I wouldn't be cleaning the inside of the microwave as it was swimming in brown stuff and I believed it was beyond just a clean....I would say I think her head isn't in the right place and she's unfortunately taken it out on you. I would text and explain about you not having time to tidy and not knowing she would be coming and perhaps let her know how much you appreciate her. When you have been cleaning regularly sometimes you both get to a level of comfortable and feedback isnt given. I understand its not your responsibility to make her feel better but maybe a friendly text might make all the difference.

SpeccyLime · 03/11/2020 09:54

Honestly, I would look for someone else simply because of how unprofessional she has been. You did nothing wrong and don’t need to apologise - the entire situation arose because of her failure to communicate, and now she has been rude about it.

I would simply respond saying ‘I wasn’t aware you were coming this week since you didn’t tell me you were returning to work. Best of luck for the future’ and then start looking for someone else. I know it’s a pain, but you don’t need this kind of drama going forward.

Binsella · 03/11/2020 09:55

Cleaner walks out because she might have to actually do some cleaning?!

Yeah, the clue is in the title - CLEANER. She’s not a tidy-upper, is she? You can employ Marie Kondo wannabes who will do your tidying for you if you need that service.

It doesn’t sound like she was particularly rude, she just has reasonable standards and an expectation to be able to enter her workplace and actually be able to get on with her job. It sounds like a misunderstanding on both sides however, so I would talk to her first and explain where wires have been crossed.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 09:58

Binsella

Which is fine. If she didn’t want to tidy up she had the choice of messaging the OP to ask whether the tidying could be done before she started work, only cleaning the areas that were tidy, or even resigning politely. The whole “such a messy state that I walked out” thing is just plain rude to a client who has always tidied for her before. I’d be thinking good riddance myself. I don’t need my cleaner to judge my home.

LilyLongJohn · 03/11/2020 09:59

Tbh it looks like she may have been looking for an excuse to quit. You don't just turn up, moan and quit if you really want the job. If she wanted to continue, but had a gripe about the tidiness then she'd have said so, not just quit.

JemimaTiggywinkle · 03/11/2020 09:59

Sounds like she’s been having a hard time and it just tipped her over the edge.

I would text to say you didn’t realise she was coming, and you wouldn’t have expected her to clean the house in that state.

I think it’s fine to ask if she’ll come back, with the agreement that you tidy up beforehand so she can clean properly.

She can always say no if she still doesn’t want to.

Binsella · 03/11/2020 10:06

@flaviaritt an awful lot of people treat their cleaners like shit, maybe this cleaner has had her fair share of that and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Everyone loses their patience at times and sometimes at someone or something that isn’t the most deserving, but that’s just the breaking point and the way it goes. Good cleaners round here are in huge demand and can pick and choose their jobs, so that means they expect good working standards and pay and don’t accept anything less. The OP says she always tidies but perhaps not as well as other clients who the cleaner works for, maybe it’s still the most difficult house to clean for whatever reason.

If you don’t want the possibility of others judging your home, the only option is to always clean it yourself.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:11

Binsella

The cleaner has every right to go elsewhere, obviously. She has still be extremely rude to the OP (we have no reason to think she has been ‘treated like shit’) and all I am saying is her rudeness and imagining she has the right to judge my home would mean I wouldn’t ask her back.

Binsella · 03/11/2020 10:12

I also don’t think it’s particularly rude to say it was so messy that she walked out, if it’s true then why sugar coat it? She’s entitled to have her opinion, and she’s entitled to have standards.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:14

Binsella

She can have whatever opinion she likes. I think it is incredibly rude to share it, and would not be asking someone back who thought it was okay to call my house “a state” because of some dishes and minor untidiness. At all.

Hobbesmanc · 03/11/2020 10:14

She's an employee whose left a job as they arent happy. I think you might be downplaying the state of the house- just how bad was the kitchen if there were pots soaking etc,

If she's a good cleaner and you would prefer to retain her, then contact her and ask her if she would reconsider - the same as any employer would do with an employee they want to retain. Some posters on here are incredibly entitled when it comes to the arrangements with their cleaners.

Binsella · 03/11/2020 10:15

@flaviaritt re-read my post. I didn’t say anywhere that the OP treats the cleaner like shit. I said that an awful lot of people treat their cleaners like shit and maybe the OP received the brunt of her frustration at that, despite not really being deserving of it.

user1493413286 · 03/11/2020 10:15

I think I’d move on as in those circumstances I’d expect my cleaner to do what she cooks around the mess and then message me after saying politely that it was too messy to do much cleaning. I think if she comes back then you’ll be paranoid about the house on the days she comes.

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:16

Goodness I’d be mortified

Binsella · 03/11/2020 10:16

@flaviaritt so if you walked into your workplace and it was a shit hole and you couldn’t do your job properly, you wouldn’t share your thoughts on that and the consequences of it being like that?

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:17

so if you walked into your workplace and it was a shit hole and you couldn’t do your job properly, you wouldn’t share your thoughts on that and the consequences of it being like that?

What do you mean, ‘a shithole’? I wouldn’t talk about an employer’s house like that, no.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:18

Binsella

Right. Well I wouldn’t want someone back who took their frustrations out on me in that way.

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:19

@flaviaritt

Binsella

She can have whatever opinion she likes. I think it is incredibly rude to share it, and would not be asking someone back who thought it was okay to call my house “a state” because of some dishes and minor untidiness. At all.

The op has described her house like that

Hardly the most objective opinion

The cleaner has another view. And I’m inclined to believe the cleaner given she loses out financially from her view

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:20

@flaviaritt

Binsella

Right. Well I wouldn’t want someone back who took their frustrations out on me in that way.

How has she taken out her frustration?

She’s just said she is not coming in. Essentially handed in her resignation

Swipe left for the next trending thread