Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what I should do about my cleaner

228 replies

Crinkletinkle · 03/11/2020 09:38

So I've just got a message from my cleaner saying she had come to my house to clean but it was in such a messy state that she walked out, and that she has decided to finish working for me.

Background is - she has been cleaning weekly for me for just over a year. I normally spend about about 20 minutes tidying things away prior to her coming though sometimes I don't if I run out of time. She hasn't mentioned it previously if I haven't tidied. She blitzes the house for a couple of hours and then if there is time she'll do extra things eg folding washing or changing sheets. She does a fantastic job and I really like her. I work full time with a long commute and am a single mum, so I really appreciate having a great cleaner.

She had a death in the family 3 weeks ago and messaged me saying she was not up to cleaning. I messaged back saying I hoped she was ok and to take the time she needed.

She hadn't texted to let me know she was coming this week so I'd assumed she wasn't. The house was definitely less tidy than it normally is - we had had friends with 4 extra children under 6 staying over during the weekend so furniture had been moved, there were still toys in the living room and pots and pans soaking in the kitchen. I'd planned to have a tidy up the previous evening but we'd had a car accident and I didn't get a chance.

She is a great cleaner and I hate the process of finding a new cleaner. I don't want to put her under more stress though. Would it be pushy to ask her to reconsider?

OP posts:
YouKidsIsCrazy · 03/11/2020 10:20

so if you walked into your workplace and it was a shit hole and you couldn’t do your job properly, you wouldn’t share your thoughts on that and the consequences of it being like that?

If your boss had no idea you were coming as you'd said you were taking time off, wouldn't you look like a total dick for complaining about the mess in a place no-one knew you were going to?

OP do not apologise to her. She walked into your home unannounced and slagged it off. Get a new and better cleaner.

Livelovebehappy · 03/11/2020 10:22

This is why I wouldn’t employ a cleaner. To have to spend time tidying round to accommodate the cleaner sounds too much like hard work. Can’t the cleaner just clean around the untidiness? If I was a cleaner I would do the areas I can access, and if anything is blocking what I need to do, I would just leave it tbh. In your case, I would just get another cleaner. She obviously has a certain routine of how she cleans, and your untidiness obstructs her routine.

Binsella · 03/11/2020 10:23

@flaviaritt

How dare she speak to you like that?

imagining she has the right to judge my home

Do you look down on cleaners? Think they’re below you in some way? Seems like it.

She can speak to the OP as she sees fit, it’s called freedom of speech. She wasn’t abusive. And cleaners have the right to judge your home the minute you invite them in and expect them to work effectively there.

As I said OP, if you’ve had a good relationship up until now, I would take into consideration the other stresses she is under and how grief can affect people and at least have a chat with her. Even if she doesn’t come back, by her choice or yours, at least things will be left on a clearer note.

CatsOutOfTheBag · 03/11/2020 10:23

Maybe she thought as you had broken the 'Bubble of 6' rule, she didn't want to risk it?

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:23

@YouKidsIsCrazy

so if you walked into your workplace and it was a shit hole and you couldn’t do your job properly, you wouldn’t share your thoughts on that and the consequences of it being like that?

If your boss had no idea you were coming as you'd said you were taking time off, wouldn't you look like a total dick for complaining about the mess in a place no-one knew you were going to?

OP do not apologise to her. She walked into your home unannounced and slagged it off. Get a new and better cleaner.

She messaged
Dontstepinthecowpat · 03/11/2020 10:23

I would look for someone else but it is important to have the house tidy so they can ‘clean’. I appreciate though you weren’t expecting her. I sometimes feel like stopping having a cleaner as if I’m late from work the night before they come I find it really stressy trying to tidy up in the morning before school and work so it’s ready for them to clean. I’m someone who is naturally tidy though so I can’t imagine what some houses must be like!

YouKidsIsCrazy · 03/11/2020 10:24

No, she didn't/
She hadn't texted to let me know she was coming this week so I'd assumed she wasn't

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:26

Yes but you said she came to her house unannounced!

Anordinarymum · 03/11/2020 10:26

She must have been at the end of her tether with you to do that OP.

Cleaners are not there to do the washing up. Leaving stuff soaking in water is not a kind thing to do to a person you value.

I was a cleaner when my children were small. It is bloody hard work at the best of times. I found to my cost that some people do not value people who do jobs like this, and others appreciate you so much.

I walked out of one job when the entire weeks washing up was piled on the unit next to the sink every Monday morning. On that morning I just blew my top and left.

MrsSpringfield · 03/11/2020 10:29

What she did and said was fair enough. You left the house in a real mess because you didn't realise she was coming.

If you want to keep her this is probably salvageable. Message or call to apologise, explain you didn't realise she was coming and suggest if she is happy to come back you will leave it in a fit state to be cleaned in future.

Cleaners need it to be relatively tidy so they can clean. Cleaning and tidying are different things.

YouKidsIsCrazy · 03/11/2020 10:31

Yes but you said she came to her house unannounced!

She did! Can you not read?
She had a death in the family 3 weeks ago and messaged me saying she was not up to cleaning. I messaged back saying I hoped she was ok and to take the time she needed.She hadn't texted to let me know she was coming this week so I'd assumed she wasn't.

eg arrived unannounced. Not expected to be coming to work, came anyway. Do I need to use smaller words?

YouKidsIsCrazy · 03/11/2020 10:31

Cleaners are not there to do the washing up. Leaving stuff soaking in water is not a kind thing to do to a person you value

Nobody knew this person was coming. Nothing was "done to her".

Why don't people read before commenting?

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:34

Do you look down on cleaners? Think they’re below you in some way? Seems like it.

Not at all. I’ve cleaned toilets myself. I just know what’s rude and what isn’t.

CoffeeCreamandSugar · 03/11/2020 10:35

@Binsella

Cleaner walks out because she might have to actually do some cleaning?!

Yeah, the clue is in the title - CLEANER. She’s not a tidy-upper, is she? You can employ Marie Kondo wannabes who will do your tidying for you if you need that service.

It doesn’t sound like she was particularly rude, she just has reasonable standards and an expectation to be able to enter her workplace and actually be able to get on with her job. It sounds like a misunderstanding on both sides however, so I would talk to her first and explain where wires have been crossed.

You can hire people to tidying up? Honestly? I need that! misses point of thread

I would just apologise and tell her you weren’t expecting her.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:35

Cleaners are not there to do the washing up. Leaving stuff soaking in water is not a kind thing to do to a person you value.

Oh my goodness! It’s a pan in water, not piss. She didn’t even know the cleaner was coming.

Grumpasaurus · 03/11/2020 10:35

We have had a really hard time finding a good cleaner- and we are incredibly tidy (to the point of me questioning genuinely whether I have a mild form of OCD- I can't relax in an untidy home and become feel anxious).

We have just given notice to our current cleaner- she started out wonderfully but we felt had become quite lazy and slapdash... missing key things like my son's bedroom, dusting around things, not hoovering the sofas, not dusting the picture frames, not wiping down the vanity units, forgetting about the mirrors... and every time we would ask her really nicely to remember to do X, she would come the next week in a huff.

She was also often late and left early- which I would not care about if everything was done, but it wasn't!

We paid LLW and 3 hours weekly for a small flat...plus Christmas bonuses, I always make her coffee or tea, once her daughter was ill so I gave her some extra cash to take her for coffee and cake, have helped her with her English and making calls to people when she can't understand them... our cleaners become like family to us.

All that to say if she is a good cleaner, try and fix it!

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:37

You can sympathise because I suspect your home is all very messy

For other who are suggesting that this house just have been in a truly awful state - we sympathise with the cleaner

notalwaysalondoner · 03/11/2020 10:39

I think it is 100% reasonable to apologise, say you didn't realise she was coming that day, you'll make sure to tidy in future, you really think she is a great cleaner and would like her to reconsider. But if she says no, or ignores you, you would then have to respect her decision.

flaviaritt · 03/11/2020 10:40

I think it is 100% reasonable to apologise, say you didn't realise she was coming that day, you'll make sure to tidy in future, you really think she is a great cleaner and would like her to reconsider.

Then you could offer to clean the house yourself, just to make it clear that you are scum, OP, and you know it.

Hmm

You have done nothing whatsoever to apologise for. Don’t.

YouKidsIsCrazy · 03/11/2020 10:40

You can sympathise because I suspect your home is all very messy

Rude AND wrong, all in one.

Jroseforever · 03/11/2020 10:42

Rude? Reread your earlier post

etinox · 03/11/2020 10:43

@Thesheerrelief

I would message her to apologise and explain that you'd had lots of guests at the weekend plus a car accident and you didn't think she was coming today. Say that you'd be grateful if she'd reconsider as you really value her help then leave it at that.
It's worth a try OP!
Anordinarymum · 03/11/2020 10:44

@flaviaritt

Cleaners are not there to do the washing up. Leaving stuff soaking in water is not a kind thing to do to a person you value.

Oh my goodness! It’s a pan in water, not piss. She didn’t even know the cleaner was coming.

The cleaner is there to clean. Not to wash up unless it is specified. Read and learn. Respect your cleaner and she will jump through hoops for not you
DeciduousPerennial · 03/11/2020 10:45

But.......she didn’t tell you she was coming 🤷🏻‍♀️

YouKidsIsCrazy · 03/11/2020 10:45

The cleaner is there to clean. Not to wash up unless it is specified. Read and learn

Good job the washing up wasn't intended for her then, wasn't it?