To ask what I should do about my cleaner

[Crinkletinkle]

So I've just got a message from my cleaner saying she had come to my house to clean but it was in such a messy state that she walked out, and that she has decided to finish working for me.

Background is - she has been cleaning weekly for me for just over a year. I normally spend about about 20 minutes tidying things away prior to her coming though sometimes I don't if I run out of time. She hasn't mentioned it previously if I haven't tidied. She blitzes the house for a couple of hours and then if there is time she'll do extra things eg folding washing or changing sheets. She does a fantastic job and I really like her. I work full time with a long commute and am a single mum, so I really appreciate having a great cleaner.

She had a death in the family 3 weeks ago and messaged me saying she was not up to cleaning. I messaged back saying I hoped she was ok and to take the time she needed.

She hadn't texted to let me know she was coming this week so I'd assumed she wasn't. The house was definitely less tidy than it normally is - we had had friends with 4 extra children under 6 staying over during the weekend so furniture had been moved, there were still toys in the living room and pots and pans soaking in the kitchen. I'd planned to have a tidy up the previous evening but we'd had a car accident and I didn't get a chance.

She is a great cleaner and I hate the process of finding a new cleaner. I don't want to put her under more stress though. Would it be pushy to ask her to reconsider?

Yes, how dare the cleaner speak to the lady of the manor in such way hmm

This so lame. 😂 She shouldn’t be telling her employer that her home is a state. We all know that. It doesn’t matter who owns what. There is an employment relationship here and the cleaner has behaved unprofessionally.

Tidy not today

Yes, she did. And reasonable employers don’t overreact or take it too personally and often keep the door open for people who worked hard for them in the past because they have valued their work and it outweighs a minor incident such as this.

And the OP can do that if she likes. Personally I would expect an apology and a reassurance that I wouldn’t be spoken to like that again. Because cleaner or not, she shouldn’t be speaking to the OP in this way.

@flaviaritt you have clearly never worked in the hospitality industry, the construction industry or many others that I know of through friends and family. People are short and blunt all the time, because they’re not robots and they behave with different personalities and emotions.*

Yes I have.

I really believe a cleaner should not treated like a maid. Washing up pots from the night before is one example

Is it an example when nobody knew the cleaner was coming and the washing up had not been left for her?

What’s wrong with some people. “Can’t speak to you like that”, “treat her like a maid”

A cleaner is a professional doing a job. She will agree what services she provides based on what is requested, and she, or he, will be treated like a professional doing any other role. Ultimately what is done is her or his decision. She or he is not a “maid”. And you don’t get to “treat them like that” .

And her communication explaining why she would no longer clean for the op and terminating her employment, was completely and utterly fine. As a pp has said , if she’s texted “ your house is a shit hole so you can do one” yes it would be unprofessional but stating your house was so messy I left and no longer wish to carry out work for you is fine and it’s factual.

I honestly don’t understand how some people think or why they think they can behave like this to people they employ to do work in their homes. The one thing I do know though is they should be ashamed of it.

Offer her a raise.

@flaviaritt how on earth did you cope with your ridiculous standards for politeness then? I seriously mean that. Because I’ve worked for years in the hospitality industry, and what this cleaner said wouldn’t even register on my radar of rudeness. You say that no one would be employed if they spoke like this cleaner did, but I have heard both employers and employees come out with things much, much worse than what this cleaner has said and you’re wrong to say that they wouldn’t be employed, because trust me, they’re still very much in employment. Because they’re excellent at their jobs and they know it, and if people don’t like it, don’t value it, or don’t meet their personal standards they can very easily get employed elsewhere. If all the people I work with expected apologies and had this drama every time we were a bit short or arsey with each other, we’d never get any work done.

Personally I would expect an apology and a reassurance that I wouldn’t be spoken to like that again

Honestly, I hope if you come back at someone like this they tell you to do one. Or ignore you. The woman has terminated her employment, exactly what do you think demanding an apology and a reassurance will do in this context?

I’m guessing you’ve never had a cleaner in your life and this is just Internet hyperbole, because I genuinely would be aghast if anyone was like this in real life.

This thread shows why good cleaners (and they know who they are) should be charging accordingly. I have cleaned in the past, charged top end rates and never been short of clients; the work I was paid to do was done to a very high stardard, items moved and cleaned behind, ceilings, skirtings, sofas etc I absolutely cannot stand slackers and believe if you aren't going to do a job properly then don't bother doing it at all. I would not have dreamt of turning up annanounced to a client's house or telling a client that their house was messy, that is completely unprofessional and rude. If dishes are in the sink then they get done, I don't see that as a problem but obviously it comes out of the allocated time. If there is mess/clutter that takes too long to move, then it gets cleaned around or I ask the client if they would prefer it was tidied; it is about communication and using common sense. I cannot believe some of the attitudes on here and never, ever should a client have to justify the condition of their home to an employee. When you are good at what you do, you will have plenty of choice. I took pride in my work and built great relationships with my customers but a true professional knows and respects the boundaries.

I cannot believe some of the attitudes on here and never, ever should a client have to justify the condition of their home to an employee

She doesn’t have to justify it for gods sake. She wasn’t asked to. The cleaner gave her reasoning and resigned. She did not ask for a justification, it is right there in the op if you read it.

And cleaners do not have to take any old shit thrown at them and clean it up, some folks live in absolute chaos and it’s beyond fine if a cleaner says no and this is why.

a true professional knows and respects the boundaries

No, a true professional knows their own boundaries and in turn expects others to respect these boundaries that they are perfectly entitled to set, especially when self employed. Just because you’re happy to tidy doesn’t mean everyone should be, it doesn’t make them less of a ‘professional’.

Now in the OP’s case the communication about when the cleaner was attending has obviously gone a bit haywire and the cleaner presumably feels the boundaries have been broken, but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong to have a different job description or expectations to yours.

People are getting very het up about the tidying/washing up angle.

Cleaners do vary in their responsibilities, you know.

Mine does the washing up, empties the recycling storage, does bins (I've seen someone say that cleaners don't do bins before on MN!) and changes bedding on occasions (we take it off and put out the clean set for her in the morning).

And, yes, to a small degree she does tidying. We clear most surfaces for her, but occasionally odd items get left out (we're literally talking one or two). She's never made a big deal about it, because she's not only a good cleaner, she's not too up herself to move a magazine.

(FWIW, at my workplace, we've always acted on the same principle and no one is too up themselves to do a post run, fold and stuff envelopes etc. I'm paid upwards of 50k a year, and if we have a thousand envelopes to stuff, we stick the telly on in the meeting room and all take our share. So I'm not wildly impressed by the disdain for a small amount of tidying...)

@thecatsthecats have you seen how much mess four children under the age of six can make!? It’s not exactly a fair comparison to your cleaner being willing to move a couple of magazines, is it?

Being paid 50k (which I’m pretty sure OP’s cleaner doesn’t make each year) probably sweetens the deal a bit in terms of you being willing to pitch in at work with different tasks too...

@flaviaritt

Yes, how dare the cleaner speak to the lady of the manor in such way hmm

This so lame. 😂 She shouldn’t be telling her employer that her home is a state. We all know that. It doesn’t matter who owns what. There is an employment relationship here and the cleaner has behaved unprofessionally.

Lame? Are you 10?

Binsella

I don’t have ridiculous standards.

One problem less, then, over lockdown.

And cleaners do not have to take any old shit thrown at them and clean it up, some folks live in absolute chaos and it’s beyond fine if a cleaner says no and this is why.

I agree with this. But she is not entitled to be rehired if she changes her mind having expressed herself thusly. “Your home is a messy state” is not something you say to a client, though it might be something you say to someone you don’t want as a client.

She’s not asked to be rehired, so your petty retribution is pointless. I’m sure she’s enough clients to not give a shit.

Honestly, I hope if you come back at someone like this they tell you to do one. Or ignore you. The woman has terminated her employment, exactly what do you think demanding an apology and a reassurance will do in this context?

You have missed my point. I would expect these things IF the cleaner wanted me to employ her again. As things stand (as I’ve said) I wouldn’t be apologising to her (the OP has done nothing wrong) or asking her back (I wouldn’t want her back).

Bluntness100

It is not pointless. I am talking to those suggesting the OP should ‘give her another chance’, eg. rehire her.

The op wants to rehire her. The woman has quit. She has not asked to be rehired so anyone suggesting “give her another chance” is barking, because it’s the op that wants her, not that the woman regrets her decision,

Bluntness

And the OP wants to know whether others agree that she should approach her. I don’t agree. I think the woman quit, rudely.

My house is very untidy - we have 3 people working from home, 2 of whom run home-based businesses.

My cleaner is expected to tidy as well as clean, and she is also expected to use her initiative about things and organise them as well, if needed. This was made clear right from the start when she was engaged, and she is paid for the time it takes to do all of these things.

I can sort of understand why people run around clearing up for their cleaner, but personally I want to spend that time working -or relaxing - and I choose to pay someone else to do it.

The people over the years who have cleaned for me have chosen to be paid for the job specification that I have given them. I have never had any problem finding some really wonderful cleaners. It is a simple, respectful, professional business arrangement, and I am really at some of the 'lady of the manor' type responses on here.

@flaviaritt yes, you do. You also talk about people like they’re beneath you.