To ask if you feel you've "wasted" your education by being a SAHM?

[trashaccount]

To preface, I don't view it this way at all. I'm in full time education right now, with the intention of being a SAHM in the future and (probably) home educating my kids.

I don't feel any education is necessarily "wasted" as you still gain something from it, but there's definitely a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I'm doing it for very different reasons than my peer group.

Interested in hearing opinions (though please let's try and keep it respectful to both SAHMs and WMs). Thank you!

Oh! Forgot I had voting enabled so YABU = education is never wasted or YANBU = education primarily only benefits people in relation to a career.

I wouldn't say you're wasting your education, but you see putting yourself in a very vulnerable position later in life.

Have you found a man to fund your chosen lifestyle?

Yes. Absolutely. Bloody pointless waste of time I could have travelled and spent the money is saved and just lived. My whole life I went straight from uni to work and really slogged. Then kids who now just give me crap and call me a useless waste of oxygen.

@Oopsiedaisyy Yes I have. But I guess I would prefer not to derail with my personal life necessarily - I'm mostly interested in the views of SAHMs or students, or alternatively people who chose to forego higher education for other lifestyles. Just a curiosity thing I guess, but I can acknowledge that my preferred lifestyle is potentially a riskier option.

what are you studying? Degree in childhood education would not be wasted if you plan to homeschool. Most knowledge and skills if you are doing, say, nuclear engineer degree might remain unused though.

I won't be a SAHM forever but I thought I was going to be due to mental health stuff and I didn't think I'd wasted my education. I loved university. I think we forget how it's ok to learn for learnings sake and not nessasarily for any career oriented reason.

@D4rwin Sorry to hear that! Do you feel like your education is wasted generally, or just in relation to being a SAHM (for any time period)?

Not to mention a society that will encourage absolute strangers to berate you for not working.

Maybe teacher training or similar could be helpful if you ultimately plan to home school? I found myself wishing I’d done my PcGE in the midst of lockdown while trying to juggle full time work from home, a masters and offer the dc some form of education. It’s something I might look into if this continues.

I don't recommend ever taking a chance to not work after student age. No one will give you any respect.

I have a PGCE it's also useless now. They don't just let teachers swan in and out you have to retrain.

@KatharinaRosalie Psychology and philosophy! So potentially useful in pondering the existentialism of birth and death, but not much on a practical level

@Juniperandrage If you don't mind me asking, what were your original motivators for higher education? I've got some MH stuff too, and I'm always interested in how people push through / what they think their best options are in dealing with their MH issues

I think it depends on the course you do. I think doing a law degree, going to law school, completing a training contract leading to a career as a solicitor is a waste, if you intend to be a SAHM.

Some courses and career paths require a lot of time, effort, dedication and money to do for the hell if it.

Also a PGCE will not help you with home schooling. There isn't a great deal of time given to understanding learning per se. It's very much about delivering a mainstream education. That's why specialists have extra courses under their belts

I am technically on maternity leave with my third child but will struggle to reignite my self employed freelance career next year, so I am slowly morphing into a sahm. I’m glad I did my degree, I think it benefitted me a lot in numerous ways while not leading very directly or obviously to a career; but at this moment in time, I feel trapped in an infinite cycle of nappies, naps, washing and dishes (and that’s with a supportive partner who holds the fort entirely when he’s not at work). It’s depressing. My kids are adorable but don’t yet benefit from the fact I’ve read the complete works of Shakespeare and have lots to say about Jane Eyre. I feel ashamed when I think of some of my teachers over the years who really believed in me.
Part of the issue is probably that I didn’t achieve enough before having children.

@NotYouAgainTom PcGE is a good idea! Could definitely see myself becoming a philosophy teacher if the chance ever rolled around (though I'm sure many sleepless nights for a multitude of reasons!)

My masters educated mum tutored me outside school to get a scholarship to a prestigious private school. Her attitude and importance placed on education has meant that I have achieved a lot academically.

While I’m not mega successful, I feel I was given lots of opportunities as a child and feel grateful. We home ed the kids (along with grandparents on both sides) - And I feel comfortable and confident in doing that due, in a large part, to my mum’s input. It’s had a big impact on my life and I think if she worked, she would have had less time to do that.

Any life where you are happy and doing something that is legal and undamaging is not a waste imo. I work ft now in a role I needed my degree to get - but years ago I worked in something that didn't need a degree and after that I had years at home.

I agree be careful about not working for future finances but wasting your education is really not possible - education is a good in itself.

Many dickheads people don't respect sahms. That's their loss.

@trashaccount

Partly it was to prove to myself I could do it after being told I was useless and stupid my whole life and partly just because I loved the subject and wanted the university experience

There are some people that never had much of education in the first place.

I worked on an 9ffice for 10 years. Spent 12 at home with kids.
Went to college got L2 and then a L3 qualification. I know I'll manage degree. I struggled.to get my L3.
So I got a job that paid shit but I loved. I never had a day in 7 years where I didn't want to do my job. But its gone now thanks to Covid. And my lack of quake mean I'm finding it near impossible to find new employment.

So I had no education to waste but those years being a SAHM were some.of the best of my life so far. My future looks bleak but I'll never regret those years.

@RhodaDendron Sorry to hear you're having a tough time! I absolutely relate to what you said about feeling ashamed when thinking of teachers who believed in you, it's definitely difficult when your potential doesn't necessarily equate with your happiness (for me, anyway!).

If you had the option, is there anything you'd choose to do differently?

I'm a SAHM with a degree and I don't feel like my education has been wasted, I enjoy reading, studying, I'm on various committees and arrange charity events and village events - I am also bringing up children who value education, critical thinking and personal choice.

Do what you feel is best for you and your family, don't worry about what other people think of your decisions, they aren't the ones that have to live with them.

Not to mention a society that will encourage absolute strangers to berate you for not working.

I think ppl see how vulnerable you are or can be if you don't work and are financially dependent on your DH/DP.

100% career and education wasted. Having to go back to work after a 3 year break and taking a £14k pay cut from my last job in order to get back on the ladder.

Can’t go back to my old role which involved travel and some late evenings near deadlines due to childcare (full time childcare for two (twins so same age) is £2684 a month

Would not recommend. Especially in this pandemic where everything that kept you sane with kids is closed

@D4rwin why will no one give any respect to someone who doesnt work?