(bride) AIBU to be really hurt by this?

[onedayillbeamillionairemaybe]

Sisters wedding is narrowed down to 15 people.

I am MOH.

It was in December and has now be delayed a couple of months.

She has just announced a new date for end of Feb and I am away on that date on a non-refundable very expensive trip, I booked with a friend. I haven't been away in 4 years.

I don't know what to do.

I am 100% certain all family will expect me to be there. I wouldn't want to miss it but if I lost all that money I had saved up for a holiday I would be very resentful.

I also font think my friend (who I would have to let down) would be the most please and would feel betrayed

Go on the holiday. Without hesitation.

@whatsonmymindgrapes if her sister valued the relationship shouldn't she have checked when her family were available?

I’m shocked by the responses on here, for a parenting website people really don’t seem to value family relationships.

The op's sister should have thought about family relationships, shouldn't she?

Holiday. No doubt.

@Zoecarter

Just explain you can’t do that date. Before I booked my wedding I checked that my brothers and parents where free x

Yes same! She should have asked the bridal party at least...

I’m shocked by the responses on here, for a parenting website people really don’t seem to value family relationships

I very much value family relationships, in fact I moved 400 miles for that exact reason.

But if her sister valued family relationships, she wouldn't have glossed over the holiday with the comment 'that's a problem'.

Is the holiday destination somewhere you can currently travel to? Or currently under some restriction? Have you independently discussed with your friend what you’ll do if you can’t go regardless of the wedding? Does your friend know about your sister? I really do think it could all get decided for you but that’s not an easy period to live through. The wedding could move again and or the holiday could be forced to be changed. I’d not mention it again now and if she asks again just say you are investigating options with your holiday because obviously it’s cost a lot. My vote goes to hoping you do get to do both and that both or one gets rearranged at no cost to you. Also that you are still friends with everyone by the time it comes round.

If your sister really cared about your attendance she would have checked your availability before setting the date

Just ring her and talk to her about it.

You can't make your friend lose all that money. It's not your fault the dates have changed without consultation. You are going to need to be very clear 'x and I will lose £x if I don't go, this was a committment I made. If there is any way I can change the dates I will move heaven and earth but I don't think I can'.

I’d also go on the holiday. It can’t be refunded, not just for you but also,your friend. You can’t let her down!

Plus a holiday will be nicer than a wedding which let’s be honest aren’t that interesting for anyone apart from the couple.

I'm sorry but you have long ago committed to a holiday with your friend. It is booked and paid for. You don't bail out because something else comes along. This is what's so wrong with today's society, no one has any loyalty to commitments already made. Makes me so cross. Tell your sister you have a previous commitment and can't be there - unless the holiday gets cancelled, which it may very well

If your trip was so expensive why didn't you take out insurance? A lesson learned i guess.

Why did she not check with the guests before booking new date?

Insurance would not cover the rescheduled wedding of a relative...

Insurance absolutely wouldn’t cover this.

@Whatsonmymindgrapes

I’m shocked by the responses on here, for a parenting website people really don’t seem to value family relationships.

I'm shocked a bride would reschedule her wedding to make her sister (& MOH) unable to attend.

I don't think the insurance will pay for "my sister is getting married, I am her MOH, so can I have my money back, please?". It's usually for situations like illness or death.

Complicated thing indeed, OP... probably I would try my best to move the holiday date or get a refund ASAP, however if this is not possible I would let my sister know right away. WOULD SHE reimburse you for this, if she really wants you to be at the wedding? She should have checked with you before booking the date. Can SHE change the date of the wedding?

... however, it's very likely no one will be able to travel abroad in February either, so it might be actually easy to change the date of the holiday now.

@pinkyredrose

If your trip was so expensive why didn't you take out insurance? A lesson learned i guess.

@pinkyredrose do please come back with a link to any travel insurance policy that pays out because your sister books a wedding on the date you’re away?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You’re the daftest commentator on the Internet today!

Tell her categorically that you can't let your friend down. Say that if it was just you, you'd sacrifice your holiday for her, but as it is you will not do that to your friend. Your sister should have clarified dates with you.

Definitely the holiday. She shouldn’t have rebooked without checking the new date was good for you all really. With such a small wedding it isn’t impossible to find a date which suits everyone.

@KiposWonderbeasts

The bride wasn’t aware of the dates the op has said.

Personally I wouldn't be cancelling a holiday that was already booked. Who knows what might change by then anyway - all wedding groups apart from the bride/groom could be off and all holidays could be off. If it came to it I'd go on the holiday if still ok - it was booked before her date and paid for.

You must go in your trip. It’s nit your fault they moved the date. You have your own place and you will lose lots of money if you cancel. It’s nit fair. And it’s not your fault.

@Whatsonmymindgrapes

I’m shocked by the responses on here, for a parenting website people really don’t seem to value family relationships.

I assume that means your shocked the BRIDE didn't check with her sister, her MOH, that she was available, especially since she knew her sister had a trip booked around that time?