To find this a bit unsettling

[OverTheRainbow88]

So OH has been away for 2 Nights; he comes home this afternoon and asks how the youngest slept, he’s a terrible sleeper. I said not too bad really and he said oh yes I thought so as when I had a look he was asleep. So I had forgotten that the kids monitors link to my OHs mobile phone. Is it a bit odd to be looking at their monitors from the other end of the country? Not sure why but I found it a bit unsettling. AIBU?

Thats the whole point of them. Why do you find it so unsettling that their father check in on them?

Why do you find it unsettling? Is he not their Dad?

He's checking in on his kids 🤷🏻‍♀️

What?
Why would it bother you that the father of your children is looking at his children while they sleep?
Unless perhaps he's not their biological dad?
If there's no backstory or reason for you to be so suspicious, YABU.

I think it sounds sweet tbh! Is there a wider context?

He may have felt homesick and was missing the DC.
He may be a bit of a gadget type and enjoyed checking out the tech n stuff.
You, however are the one who knows him and would know if he's the type who would be 'spying'.

Unsettling if he's watching you, if it's just the kids then he's checking in.

He might have been missing them? Is there a back story to why it unsettled you?

All of the above.
It’s nowhere near weird or unsettling, in fact I find it lovely and reassuring.

He is their biological dad. I’m not sure, I guess if I were kid free away for 2 nights I wouldn’t be watching them on a monitor. I guess it dawned on me he could be watching all day etc!!

Or do you feel that it's a bit intrusive OP, in that he might be judging your parenting?
I am trying to understand!

It just hadn’t ever crossed my mind that he may not be in the house but is watching!

If I was away from home for 2 nights and could check on my DC from my phone I would.

Rather than ask the parent who they are with how they are? Or speak on FaceTime?

YABU. I think it’s sweet.

WTF?! It’s “unsettling“ that a father wanted to look at his sleeping children while he was away from them and presumably missing them?

Is this a wind up, or are you about to drop the world’s biggest drip feed to explain what’s ‘unsettling’ about a father who misses his children?

If I were away from my child for two nights then I would check in when I could, you wouldn't?

It's a bit weird if he didn't call you to check how they are. Does he do bedtime usually?

I think that is adorable and totally normal. My DH used to work in another country during the week and loves the DC to bits, he'd have totally done this - I'd have waved to him!

There’s no drip feeding at all.

I guess it caught me by surprise. If I were away I would call and FaceTime it text him and ask.. not just look through the baby Monitor .

I wouldn’t be bothered by that, I’d think it was quite a sweet thing for my husband to do. But I also trust him totally and know he wouldn’t spy on me, so that wouldn’t be a concern for me! If you have trust issues I can see why it might feel more intrusive.

Nope not unsettling at all. He’s their dad!
I’d do the same as him.

This does highlight the issue of having monitors in the house. It is probably easy to forget that others can log in at any time.

OP, are you uncomfortable that he may have been watching you during the day too?

He probably just missed them, was going to bed late and thought 'I'll just check and see they're sleeping soundly'.

Is there anything else about your husband that is making you feel like he's spying or being inappropriate? If not you're reacting unusually!

I guess I can kind of see where you're coming from OP, but it's hard to explain, isn't it?!