To find this a bit unsettling

[OverTheRainbow88]

So OH has been away for 2 Nights; he comes home this afternoon and asks how the youngest slept, he’s a terrible sleeper. I said not too bad really and he said oh yes I thought so as when I had a look he was asleep. So I had forgotten that the kids monitors link to my OHs mobile phone. Is it a bit odd to be looking at their monitors from the other end of the country? Not sure why but I found it a bit unsettling. AIBU?

Also, while he shouldn't have to 'go through' you, bypassing you this way could mean, over time, that he will miss random yet sometimes important details that come up in passing

Again, it's not either/or. OP doesn't suggest her husband never communicates with her when he goes away; plus, if it's important, presumably OP would tell him anyway.

If you have devices like this that is what they are for!.

Personally, I think its odd that you have this device yet when you are kid free you 'totally check out' and don't look a it.

Wouldn't anyone feel unsettled if you thought there was a possibility a family member was watching you remotely at any time?

If I knew they had an app on their phone for the baby monitor and they were watching that then no. If it was some unknown set of cameras all around the house, then yes, that would be creepy. It's not just a family member though is it, it's their dad. Perhaps having an uncle log in would also be creepy.

I think it's sweet, he misses them . I actually find it a bit odd that you find it unsettling.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. He is their father unless he is controlling and watching you if you're looking after the kids or chatting on Mumsnet, for example.

what were you getting up to that you shouldn't have been ? 🤣

bg21

How many pairs of shoes were on the landing?

It's sweet, he's thinking of and missing his child so is watching him from afar. I hope imagine you find it unsettling in an 'isn't it strange that we can do this' rather than 'isn't my husband strange' way.

YABU, we have the BT smart monitor and I check on our DD when I’m at work and she’s napping etc.

You're assuming that your DH thinks and acts like you do, which can cause problems.

You're reaction is incredibly weird.
If I was away from my beloved children for a night and had a way to gaze upon their precious beautiful selves, believe me I'd pore over those images.

This thread a few weeks ago very Similar www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4019119-DH-watching-me-on-the-baby-monitor

@Dopeyduck

We use owlet and my DP openly says he checks DS sometimes to see he’s safe and happy - just because he misses him!

I think that’s it though, you know he’s doing it. I wasn’t aware. Now I am aware that’s fine.

That thread is extraordinarily similar.

Yes very similar, wasn’t me though!!

At least she agrees with me 😂

Would you not do the same if you were away? I certainly would. DH would too as he'd miss the kids if he was away. That's if we had one of those monitor things on our phones, which we don't.

@OverTheRainbow88 - yes okay well I suppose that is a bit different but I don’t think it would bother me.

I don’t spend any time in DS room, I’m either putting him in his cot or taking him out. What can he see?

I guess it depends if you feel like he’s checking up on you or if you just think he never thought to mention it.

Would he do something like checking up on you? Is he that sort of person?

Watching his young children sleep ok....as long as ur sure he's not watching you!
But I do think as children get older its an invasion of privacy being able to log into their private space.
Is there a back story to this, is he very controlling ? Do you know there are no other hidden cameras in the house.

We installed front and back cameras after we were burgled. I love watching the ten second clips of my daughter coming home or going out in the garden with her nanny while I am at work. I miss her so I enjoy watching her. 🤷‍♀️

He's not spying on you and what you are doing. That would be a different matter.

You are reacting as if he is spying on you.

Surely the whole point of those apps is that parents can check in on their kids even when they're not home? I think it's quite sweet that he wanted to check in on his kids whilst he was away.

I can see why it's taken you by surprise when you didn't realise he was checking it.
I don't think he is creepy though.

I find the weird surveillance lives we live now kinda creepy but that's by the by.

It’s his children, his house, his monitors (that you knew about). What exactly is the point of them if not for him to see the kids, since you don’t even have the app?!

Our children, our house and our monitors.

He uses It when at home if kids napping and we are in the garden as the monitor doesn’t go that far.

He can see the whole bedroom? So presumably can see you too if you're pottering around in there? And he hasn't mentioned tuning in before? I wouldn't like that either, someone being able to watch me without me knowing, no. But then I hate the idea of tech like that anyway and wouldn't have it in the house. Even Ring doorbells give me the heebie-jeebies.

I sometimes look on our monitors when I'm at work and DH is doing bed time. In fact I've spoke to him through it before when I've logged on and seen him getting DD ready for bed. Not doing it to be nosey or see what he's up to, just want to see my baby!