To think teachers won't say your DC is a little shit at parents evening?!

[overcovermultitasker]

It's parents evening ( via zoom) and our class WhatsApp is blazing with how wonderful all the DCs are However the class has loads some nightmare children and is known as boisterous bxxx class. Do teachers ever say anything negative or are these parents unable to read between the lines? Many of these DCs are on the poor end of the behaviour wall chart on a daily basis from their own admissions. I don't know, I suppose teachers have to focus on each child's positives ?

I must be the only person to have not bragged. Main issues I would say are many spoilt brats, who don't follow instructions, they push, shove, uncaring. Do teachers says anything?

Maybe like mner's they say spirited??

I referred to two children in my Year 9 class as "little shits" after my first class with them - but to my husband, not their parents. Parents conveniently LOVE to ignore any hints that their child isn't perfect and they certainly would never tell the group chat their child's flaws.

If a child disrupts the learning of the class, or is rude or unpleasant, of course I tell their parents.

How do you have any idea where children are on the classroom wall chart?

Lots goes on in a classroom, both good and bad, that parents have no idea about.

😂😂😂 I’m such a minority, so aware of their flaws!

Well, I got told my DD is "a delight to have in the class", and that my DS is a "lovely, kind, helpful, gentle boy", so there.

I taught primary for many years of say something like 'they are very energetic and we are working on ways to help them concentrate on their work but that I love their lively enthusiasm' or words to that effect...

Spirited, assertive, opinionated, direct

There's a long list of euphemisms for annoying little fuck badger

My sons first school parents evening was when we got to discuss his brilliant academics and positive traits - we discussed behaviour all the time and in meetings otherwise.

His second school never had anything nice to say, it was horrible.

He is a little shit but he’s also much more than that and a wonderful, clever little boy.

I am one of the fortunate ones that enjoys Parent's Evenings, I know there are parents and children that they are a trial to endure (and for the teachers as well, trying to tactfully and politically correctly get it across that the kids are behaving and performing woefully!). My question, for the teachers, is always, tell me what they need to work on, what they are weak in, and if they're pissing you off at all, let us know how and why. I want to hear what is wrong, as well as what is right. If you don't know it's broke, you don't know that you need to fix it, let alone how.

Our class WhatsApp was exactly the opposite, lots of 'wish he was as good at home as the teacher seems to think he is' type comments, and trying to judge if the teacher s positives were actually positive or negative.

Of course we don't in that way!

We say things like

"Little Jonny does fantastic work in English but can often be sidetracked by other pupils in the class"
"Little Jonny loves to ask lots of questions" (doesn't stfu)
"Little Jonny needs to make his target for this term ensuring he creates the work we know he is capable of"

I'm known for being blunt at parents evening but even I would draw the line at calling any child a little shit 🤣

I tend to start with a positive, then factually describe the behaviour I see in every lesson, then end with something positive if I can think of another one. Unfortunately, it's well known that a lot of people remember the beginning and end of the conversation, so they don't remember the bulk of the meeting where I'm talking about bad behaviour. They leave glowing about the minor positive I said last (eg. He does turn up to detentions when I give them to him)

@Prettybluepigeons well my DC reports these things and sometimes the kids come out saying I was in the red zone today (bad) to whoever is collecting. I don't have verified information daily, but once my DC was in the red zone and he was heartbroken, cried himself to sleep that he'd something wrong is that me covertly bragging on MN?

I would prefer ot if they did tell you that your kids were acting like total shots. That way I could go ahead and handle the situation. Instead they wait 6 months and decide there's a problem. Teachers need the freedom to be honest about a child's behavior without parents threatening their jobs

Any behaviour problems wouldn't wait for parents evening they should already be well aware and then parents evening can focus on progress and positives.

At my DC's school they make parents aware of any behaviour issues or disturbances etc as and when they happen. So the parents are already aware of those issues. I suspect that PT evenings are more about the academic side of things and with a note of any issues of behaviour during teaching time.

One of mine was a pain in the btm. The Head told my husband that he didn't belong at her school because it was a 'school for nice children'. So yes, sometimes they do.
His autism diagnosis came later.

Unfortunately parents only hear what they want to hear the majority of the time. Plus they would never advertise it on Facebook etc if they'd had any negative remarks made about their little darlings!

As mum of a difficult child I hear nearly every single day about her latest antics. Parents evening is firmly reserved for actually hearing how she is doing academically and her positives etc.

Nothing a teacher says at Parents Eve should be a surprise! The irritating little shits you speak of, their parents already know! The parents have had phone calls and action plans and behaviour management plans agreed and they know their children are a scholastic nightmare! The joy of Parents Eve is the successes are focussed on.

It's quite hard for a parent to be told that their child doesn't behave that well, for whatever reason, and they certainly aren't going to want to share that on the class group chat, so they put a positive spin on it and join in with the 'fantastic report' posts. It's understandable really

Unless you work with those DC I doubt you're in a position to really know the behavioural ins and outs of their days in school.

I taught Reception for 8 years and never spoke shittily to any parent about their DC. I believe strongly that you can be direct and honest without ever being rude. The parents I spoke to were already aware of issues with their DC because I wouldn't have left anything important to Parents Evening, and I'd always tell them something lovely about their DC, not because I was blowing smoke up their arse but because I would try and always end on something lovely. If parents then took that away as their main focus, so be it.

Ok I hadn't considered that parents evening was just for positives. So if your child is really bad, do the teachers just offer one positive and then that's the end of the meeting ?