AIBU to tell someone to fuck off in Waitrose ( warning, may contain masks)

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Is it me? Why are people so fucking rude in Waitrose? I live near three supermarkets, Lidl, Asda and Waitrose and this never happens in Lidl or Asda (or when I'm with DH funnily enough )

I have a lung condition, and sometimes cough - I try not to, I wear a mask, I am discreet, I cough into my elbow. I genuinely do understand the sound of a cough can be alarming these days and if someone looks nervous (especially elderly people) I will explain it and say I don't have CV...this is fine, I understand.

But why do people feel the need to be fucking rude and make direct comments or tut give me disgusted looks? It's happened before and just yesterday I had to remove my mask and use my inhaler (I actually sanitise my hands and put a new mask on) Why the fuck would someone give me a dirty look and tut (and I didn't imagine it)?!

So my question is, what is an acceptable response to people doing this or worse, questioning me in a rude manner, because I am that close to just saying fuck off, quite honestly. The only reason I didn't say this to the last person (who asked me if I should be leaving the house ) was because they had a child with them.

I always have a severe case of esprit de l'escalier afterwards (eg I could have answered rude woman with yes, and should your child be in school with an equally judgy look )

It's getting to the point where I am nervous about going out because I it's actually quite upsetting. Would I BU to say fuck off? (DH thinks this is acceptable and I should also add "you cunt" but I don't think I could bring myself to say cunt in Waitrose...)

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Raven I'm not going to hug you, you have no worries on that score

Oh dear though. I am an imbecile. A complete imbecile. A complete prejudiced imbecile.

[Angelina82]

When I get coughing fits I just tell everyone not to be alarmed it’s just an asthma attack and am always met with smiles. I don’t shop at Waitrose though.

[Cadent]

@JuliaJohnston

Nobody can declare with any credibility that "to their best possible knowledge they don't have Covid at this time" hmm
I'd assume anyone doing so was a complete imbecile.

Of course you can. You can reasonably assume you don’t have Covid if you don’t have symptoms. That’s the reason I go to work each day. If I thought I had Covid I would stay home. Same for millions of others.

[Cadent]

And I didn’t tell the OP to say that whole sentence JuliaJohnson so please stop misquoting.

[2020iscancelled]

If you can’t bring yourself to use Fuck Off then I think a good alternative is Pipe Down

It’s quite effective, I like it, someone gives you a dirty look and makes a comment

OH PIPE DOWN LOVE

[Henio]

My 18 month old daughter has just started to pretend cough in shops 😐

[Baggingarea]

YABU to tell someone to eff off OP - purely because you don't want to get yourself banned from Waitrose (think of the almond croissants!)

Know you didn't like the lanyard comment but think it could be a good idea (while wearing a mask) so busy bodies think twice before tutting. Or if they do you could just waggle your lanyard at them and that should shut them up.

Or you could always get a T-Shirt printed which reads 'Stop giving me dirty looks - I have a lung condition!' That's a (half) joke but would do the trick!

[ravenmum]

We wear masks, stay 2m away from other people, avoid flying etc. because we might have Covid, even without symptoms. We go to work or to the shops knowing that we might have it, without being aware of it. Even if you have just got a negative test result back, that only tells you that you didn't have Covid when you took the test.
We can't assume that we don't have it. That would be dangerous.

[Coldandwet123]

Please ignore me if I cough a lung up into my mask.
I have asthma.

*looks up t-shirt printing companies.

[Cadent]

@ravenmum

We wear masks, stay 2m away from other people, avoid flying etc. because we might have Covid, even without symptoms. We go to work or to the shops knowing that we might have it, without being aware of it. Even if you have just got a negative test result back, that only tells you that you didn't have Covid when you took the test.
We can't assume that we don't have it. That would be dangerous.

Yes but you’re going out and about with your daily with the belief that you don’t have Covid ravenmum. Because you believe you don’t have at it this time. If you thought you might have Covid you would stay home (I hope).

[2bazookas]

Why not write a public message on your mask?

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

Nobody can declare with any credibility that "to their best possible knowledge they don't have Covid at this time" hmm
I'd assume anyone doing so was a complete imbecile.

Of course you can declare you don't have Covid to the best possible knowledge! It's not saying you don' have it, but no reason to believe you do.

And you have the cheek to assume people are imbeciles!

[movingonup20]

I cough, in my case it's acid reflux related but same outcome, I've been stared at but just make light of it saying I had covid in March (true) rather than let it get to me.

[gandalf456]

They should do a badge like the one for exemption: not all coughs are Corona.

Think of me - I have had a cough for several weeks and I work in a supermarket

[Cadent]

Thank you @PinkSparklyPussyCat !

[katy1213]

I'm much happier in Waitrose. Wide aisles, clean baskets (they're filthy in Tesco and Sainsbury's) and polite staff and customers.

[LakieLady]

@Haskell

It wouldn't happen in my Waitrose! I have found shoppers there to be unfailingly patient and kind over the last six months, far more accommodating and understanding than any of the other supermarkets I frequent. I'm going there more often than I usually do because of it!

I'd like to know which half of your head is shaved? Just for completeness before I can decide if YABU

And it's half term in lots of places this week

I wonder if we live in the same place. @Haskell?

My Waitrose is the very model of politeness and decorum. The local Aldi has more pushing and shoving than a rugby scrum and lots of general rudeness; while Tesco is be perfectly civilised if you're able to avoid the busiest times, when it is hellish.

Sainsburys is weird. The two nearest Sainsburys are 10 miles south of where I live and 12 miles north. The southern one is full of rude and arsey shoppers, the northern one is a haven of politeness. The staff in both are very helpful and nice, so it's nothing to do with the staff.

[bengalcat]

The funniest thing in our local mini Waitrose and the bigger one is that when stuff is reduced the shoppers wait until the employee has put all the goodies on the shelf and then they still ‘queue’ and help themselves in succession one at a time .

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

I’d apologise for coughing and says it’s down to x. Many are anxious at the moment and for some going out is a big deal currently. I’d never swear at anyone though, I’d find that far worse that a glance or tut.

[UnRavellingFast]

For coughing due to lung disease and using a breathing support? Bollocks.

[cologne4711]

@ravenmum

We wear masks, stay 2m away from other people, avoid flying etc. because we might have Covid, even without symptoms. We go to work or to the shops knowing that we might have it, without being aware of it. Even if you have just got a negative test result back, that only tells you that you didn't have Covid when you took the test.
We can't assume that we don't have it. That would be dangerous.

If you take that attitude, to be consistent, you have to stay at home 100% of the time.

I take the view I don't have it, but I follow the basic rules in case I do (and I don't really do any "risky" activities as I work from home and avoid public transport etc).

If someone has asthma or a chest complaint, any cough is far more likely to be that than covid (or flu).

[TheNoodlesIncident]

I won't do an apologetic smile as I don't think I have to apologise. As I said in my OP if someone looks nervous I will smile and explain. It's the judging and rudeness that fucks me off.

We can all understand this and don't blame you, but it's easy to forget that some people are arsey when they're nervous and don't come across well. You'd think "well it's as easy to be nice as it is to be nasty" but I do think some people are in a rut of behaviours and don't know it (and perhaps wonder why every one else is such an arse when it's actually them, and their negative attitudes create an atmosphere). From this perspective, maybe a quick explanation for all people who notice you coughing and respond in some way and not just the ones who are noticeably nervous. I do think in the current situation, most people (who react to coughs) are nervous even if it doesn't appear that way.

I don't think you need to be apologetic, it's not your fault after all. Although I blame you for my almond croissant craving now

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Well I'm extra fucked off with the whole thing now, seriously what is with some people?! After this thread yesterday I ironically ended up having to bloody go again last night (not for almond croissants, emergency stuff for elderly neighbour, I didn't really want to go out at all tbh) I just wanted to be in and out, seriously don't think I could have been giving off bad vibes, I was mostly thinking I should really have taken the time to put a bra on and minding my own business. And still some judgy fucker is rude to me by the newspapers, I have absolutely had enough. I really fucking have now.

Do people seriously think I should never leave my house?! Or that I can't make an adult decision whether I am "well enough to leave the house"? Well obviously some people do think this going on an earlier post here but it still surprises me that they feel entitled to come and tell me this in person or question me. Im a fucking middle aged woman, not a toddler running about a shop without an adult that needs checking on.

And the worst thing is (after going on about female socialisation here) all I did was say I'm fine and walk off. I wish i had said all the above to her now (esprit d'escalier again!) At least I didn't apologise. And DH was with me but in a different aisle (of course) and I didn't tell him.

Seriously everyone who thinks other people are nervous and it wouldn't hurt me to apologise or smile or show them a card or whatever, needs to come out with me every single time and see what it's like and how quickly they tire of it. I've just asked my DH to go to the post office for me after work as I'm too fucking nervous to go myself, in case it happens again and I lose my temper or cry or something ridiculous like that. I seriously feel like I'm teetering on the edge.

I don't actually go out specifically for almond croissants, I only go when I have to go to the post office next door. I wouldn't go out atm really unless it was for essentials or for someone else, but it was so nice just to be out after months of shielding and now I don't want to do it. I actually do sound like a child there, I know. Fuck it

[Cadent]

Sorry it happened again OP but you had so much advice to speak up and say ‘please don’t be rude, I have a lung disease, not corona‘ etc, why didn’t you feel able to say anything?

[Redburnett]

It is understandable that people associate coughing with Covid, so if you cough for other reasons it is reasonable that you explain briefly to people around that you do not have Covid but another condition. Swearing at them is not appropriate.