AIBU to tell someone to fuck off in Waitrose ( warning, may contain masks)

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Is it me? Why are people so fucking rude in Waitrose? I live near three supermarkets, Lidl, Asda and Waitrose and this never happens in Lidl or Asda (or when I'm with DH funnily enough )

I have a lung condition, and sometimes cough - I try not to, I wear a mask, I am discreet, I cough into my elbow. I genuinely do understand the sound of a cough can be alarming these days and if someone looks nervous (especially elderly people) I will explain it and say I don't have CV...this is fine, I understand.

But why do people feel the need to be fucking rude and make direct comments or tut give me disgusted looks? It's happened before and just yesterday I had to remove my mask and use my inhaler (I actually sanitise my hands and put a new mask on) Why the fuck would someone give me a dirty look and tut (and I didn't imagine it)?!

So my question is, what is an acceptable response to people doing this or worse, questioning me in a rude manner, because I am that close to just saying fuck off, quite honestly. The only reason I didn't say this to the last person (who asked me if I should be leaving the house ) was because they had a child with them.

I always have a severe case of esprit de l'escalier afterwards (eg I could have answered rude woman with yes, and should your child be in school with an equally judgy look )

It's getting to the point where I am nervous about going out because I it's actually quite upsetting. Would I BU to say fuck off? (DH thinks this is acceptable and I should also add "you cunt" but I don't think I could bring myself to say cunt in Waitrose...)

[Janevaljane]

I have resting bitch face. That's the joy of masks.

[WagnersFourthSymphony]

LOLing at the idea of saying cunt in Waitrose but sorry you're finding it so stressful. People can be absolute shits.

The beauty of a mask is that no one can see you poking your tongue out at them. And a pitying look over the top of the mask can be quite shaming in a very Waitrosy way.

[Plussizejumpsuit]

Used to work in Waitrose in Sw London. Can confirm people are way more rude than elsewhere.

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

How annoying it's happening to so many of us. Honestly why are people such judgemental knobs

It's just so wearing, and if it doesn't happen to you it's probably hard to get how depressing it is. Actually even before masks, someone was rude to me on the bus (involving the word fuck, then not me ) and I did say "I have lung disease" and they did look a bit embarrassed.

And it never ever happens when I'm with DH. Not once.

[Janevaljane]

I have a rhinitis cough. I do wear a mask and just cough quietly and ignore people.

[Aridane]

I have resting bitch face and if you to,d me to fuck off and called me a cunt I would be reporting g to store manager and asking you to be barred

Ooh scary!

No - not scary, just inconvenient. My local supermarkets have zero tolerance for the verbal assault OP is proposing (somewhat tongue in cheek)

[DominaShantotto]

Theatrical resting bitch face isn't really a good tool these days when half of your face is covered by a mask. Eyebrow raising is the future of MN passive-aggressive disapproval in these new normal unprecedented times.

Friend has a cough all the time - she's taken to just shouting really loudly when she does "SMOKER!!!" Makes half of us giggle and really winds the more cats bum faced brigade up at the school gates who judge those they view as lower class than themselves (area's being gentrified and there are those who live there because family have for years and really are resented by the new money bunch).

[SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff]

@Bid876

Wear a giant tshirt over your clothes saying back the fuck off I have a lung condition, I cough If you don’t like it tough shit. P.s if you think this tshirt is rude, try saying something to my face!

^ I like this idea very much, excellent business opportunity for someone too, I would think plenty of people would be interested in wearing one. They could be made suitably Christmassy to fit in with the approaching festivities. I’m thinking a few twinkly LED lights, a bit of tinsel, that sort of thing.

As an aside I’m partial to a cinnamon swirl OP (not sure if Waitrose do these) never tried an almond croissant, would you recommend them?

FWIW I think if you go for the Fuck off you C bomb approach you will risk the recipient having a fit of the vapours or some such stereotypical Waitrose shopper’s reaction and the store might end up going into its own lockdown. Be prepared. Make sure you have stocked up on almond croissants beforehand

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Genuinely though, before all this, Waitrose was lovely to buy almond croissants shop in! Friendly staff, polite customers - I used to get lots of nice comments about my hair especially
Thinking about it, that was usually elderly people talking to me though and I've seen very very few elderly people recently (unsurprisingly, high CV rates here) and it's been younger people who have been rude to me. Well, middle aged (like myself).

[LoisWilkersonslastnerve]

For goodness sake, I doubt the op is actually going to tell anyone to Fuck Off. I assumed the thread was partially lighthearted and she just needed to vent.

[myshoelaces]

My local supermarkets have zero tolerance for the verbal assault OP is proposing

I wonder what their tolerance is for harassing strangers and asking them if
they should be leaving their house.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

I think you're probably giving off arsey vibes tbh. I'd probably be annoyed if someone was coughing etc and think why haven't they stayed at home!

In that case I'd never leave the house! I've always coughed with hay fever but this year it's carried on and I've found I cough more when I'm wearing a mask.

[Bowerbird5]

I wear a mask but after a while my airway is compromised and I cough. I usually just say “sorry it’s asthma”or “don’t worry it’s asthma”. I do feel I need to apologise. Dunelm have special stickers one of the staff who also has asthma went and fetched one for me😁

We don’t have Waitrose I live in the north. If we make a longer journey we have Booths😄 no problems other than an impatient shopper said “excuse me” to get to the pasta. I had been less than two minutes choosing as there were lots of varieties and I wanted one and a spare.

I thought we were supposed to be trying to be kind to each other therefore I would say YABU. I never use either of those words anyway.

What does a Waitrose shopper look like?

[ThatsHowItStarts]

not all coughs are covid!

OP you should totally get a shirt or a tattoo with this on! NACAC!

[Chocaholic9]

@Plussizejumpsuit

Used to work in Waitrose in Sw London. Can confirm people are way more rude than elsewhere.

That's been my experience of London in general

[pickingdaisies]

I love waitrose. You definitely get more of a type there, just looking at the cars in the carpark, but they let me in too. The rude people definitely exist there as everywhere. I've heard customers behave appallingly to the staff in there. And the staff are mostly lovely. (Mind you, the staff are lovely in Aldi too). OP is right, it's where you find the most tutters. Walk right in there OP with your quiff held high. It sounds fab by the way. Maybe practise raising a questioning eyebrow ready for next time you are tutted at. So, pause, turn head, eyebrow. Hold. Perfect!

[Janevaljane]

I find the disposable masks are a lot less irritating to my cough than fabric ones

[Aridane]

My local supermarkets have zero tolerance for the verbal assault OP is proposing

^I wonder what their tolerance is for harassing strangers and asking them if
they should be leaving their house^

If not verbally abusive, meh - otherwise treated with the same zero tolerance. There are the usual polite notices asking shoppers not to challenge non mask wearers

[HMBB]

'I'd like to know which half of your head is shaved? Just for completeness before I can decide if YABU'

This made me wonder if it could be the front half only

Seriously though I have a perpetual annoying cough from acid reflux and notice everyone looking at me much more these days so I do feel for you. I would try to ignore and enjoy your almond croissant.

[81Byerley]

@UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle

Excellent, I'm glad I am not BU

I'm (in a terribly snobby sort of way) quite surprised that it seems to happen in Waitrose and nowhere else. In fairness in appearance I don't usually fit the expected "demographic" of Waitrose (although ironically my piercings and tattoos are covered by a mask and winter clothes!) and I have half my hair shaved but I do very much sound like a Waitrose shopper if I speak or say fuck off.

I sympathise. I don't have asthma but I do have a cough as a side effect of medication, I have to admit to coughing into my mask when somebody got too close....
On a lighter note, your comment about your Waitrose accent reminded me of this. Before I met my husband, I booked a Saga singles holiday in Egypt. At 55 I was the youngest person on the trip. One afternoon, sitting round on the top of the boat sailing down the Nile, the conversation turned to the difficulty we had being bothered by people trying to sell us stuff wherever we went, and not taking "No thank you " in Arabic, for an answer. One of the ladies was 89, and made the Queen sound common. She suddenly said "Well I find that 'Fuck orf' works rather well"! We were all in hysterics. It sounded so funny coming from her!

[Tootletum]

I have found people in waitrose to be more confrontational , yes. Probably because they are less worried about getting beaten up, lol!

[ravenmum]

I will explain it and say I don't have CV.
I guess you mean that you say you have lung disease?
I wouldn't say anything (and don't shop in Waitrose), but if someone coughed near me and then said "I don't have Covid", I would be secretly thinking "if you think you know that you don't have Covid, when literally anyone could have it at any time, then you might not be well-informed enough to take proper hygiene precautions and are more likely to have it than the next person".

[anniegun]

Interesting that you have asked posters be nice as you ask for advice to tell people to fuck off

[Cadent]

Why would you tell them to ‘fuck off you cunt’?There is a middle ground where you tell them ‘please don’t be rude. I have a lung condition not COVID’.