AIBU to tell someone to fuck off in Waitrose ( warning, may contain masks)

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Is it me? Why are people so fucking rude in Waitrose? I live near three supermarkets, Lidl, Asda and Waitrose and this never happens in Lidl or Asda (or when I'm with DH funnily enough )

I have a lung condition, and sometimes cough - I try not to, I wear a mask, I am discreet, I cough into my elbow. I genuinely do understand the sound of a cough can be alarming these days and if someone looks nervous (especially elderly people) I will explain it and say I don't have CV...this is fine, I understand.

But why do people feel the need to be fucking rude and make direct comments or tut give me disgusted looks? It's happened before and just yesterday I had to remove my mask and use my inhaler (I actually sanitise my hands and put a new mask on) Why the fuck would someone give me a dirty look and tut (and I didn't imagine it)?!

So my question is, what is an acceptable response to people doing this or worse, questioning me in a rude manner, because I am that close to just saying fuck off, quite honestly. The only reason I didn't say this to the last person (who asked me if I should be leaving the house ) was because they had a child with them.

I always have a severe case of esprit de l'escalier afterwards (eg I could have answered rude woman with yes, and should your child be in school with an equally judgy look )

It's getting to the point where I am nervous about going out because I it's actually quite upsetting. Would I BU to say fuck off? (DH thinks this is acceptable and I should also add "you cunt" but I don't think I could bring myself to say cunt in Waitrose...)

[Janevaljane]

My local Waitrose is the world's most irritating supermarket. I avoid it if at all possible. I'd love to tell 90% of the staff to fuck off tbh, as they chat to each other or take a million years to scan 3 items.

[RufustheSniggeringReindeer]

@ShayAndBlueSeeker

I have an asthmatic cough. If I need to cough I apologise, smile and explain to anyone near. Never had an arsey reaction. I think you are probably giving off slightly more aggressive vibes than you think!

Ahhhhh so cos its never happened to you then the OP must have done something to ‘deserve’ it

[Aridane]

Would I BU to say fuck off? (DH thinks this is acceptable and I should also add "you cunt" but I don't think I could bring myself to say cunt in Waitrose...)

Yes, totally unreasonable and much worse than tuts or dirty looks. I have resting bitch face and if you to,d me to fuck off and called me a cunt I would be reporting g to store manager and asking you to be barred.

[bengalcat]

I’m smiling at you baulking at the idea of saying cunt in Waitrose . That would make me smile if I was walking past you .
At the end of the day if someone’s not wearing a mask indoors or coughs ( most likely from something other than a mega high viral load Covid ) I’d just give them a wider berth . None of us know someone’s circumstances or medical history .

[CleverCatty]

I wouldn't say fuck off but I would say that you have a lung condition and sometimes cough - you shouldn't have to do this though.

I would say also say that you are not responding to questioning about this either.

I know exactly the type you mean in Waitrose by the way - upwardly mobile snobs - with Tarquin and Hermoine in tow, not saying that Wayne and Waynetta Slob don't act this way - but somehow the Waitrose type seem to be so much better at sneering at one. Have had this in Wimbledon Village etc. Learned to do my best 'fuck orf' faux posh accent in response or the better nose in air stalk away.

[Aridane]

My local Waitrose is the world's most irritating supermarket. I avoid it if at all possible. I'd love to tell 90% of the staff to fuck off tbh, as they chat to each other or take a million years to scan 3 items

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Missandra I did try and explain and obviously failed that I was speaking in a tongue and cheek way about the expected stereotypical demographic of Waitrose - I mean well spoken maybe? RP?

Haskell it is actually perhaps three quarters rather than half bottom and sides, hair on the top is a kind of quiff and multi coloured. I mean shaved to the bone as well so it will probably be under a woolly hat soon. Elderly people used to admire it in Waitrose funnily enough before the world went to shit../

[rashalert]

If someone said fuck off to some of the people I have come across, they might live to regret it as the immediate reaction would be a slap in the mouth.

So, be careful before you tell a stranger to fuck off.

[CleverCatty]

Ariadne - can't seem to quote from your post - of course OP shouldn't have to swear or be rude - she may be a bit sarky here with it's use.

But how would you like to be quizzed on a cough whilst shopping when you know you have a cough, no Covid 19 symptoms and some annoying busy body is making out you have the plague??!!

[Janevaljane]

I think Aridane might work in Waitrose.

[Aridane]

But how would you like to be quizzed on a cough whilst shopping when you know you have a cough, no Covid 19 symptoms and some annoying busy body is making out you have the plague??!!

Except the OP was more fucking / cunting about dirty looks and tut.

And, no, wouldn’t bother me.

[CleverCatty]

Ariadne - generally when in most Waitrose's I've been in - all across London and South East/West - generally people are fine there - but occasionally like last time in Bromley one - you get the annoying twats - parents of a 5 year old running up and down maybe on a scooter - forget which - in 2 separate aisles - almost knocking me down - and careering from side to side - whilst his beloved parents looked on and not a word of 'sorry', 'be careful Tarquin' etc. Now they were what I'd call.... an expletive...

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

The staff are lovely funnily enough. They always offer to help me pack etc at the self service.

You see, deep down I agree it would be very uncouth and rude to tell people to fuck off, but the older I get and the more this happens the closer I come to doing it...I just want to shop in peace and mind my own business. I think well they've been rude first, but then I also think moral high ground. Tricky.

DH said if I say "fuck off you cunt" under my breath and very quickly they won't understand what I'm saying. We have practised this to test the theory (try it ) but I really don't think I could say that, especially in Waitrose

[flaviaritt]

No, oddly enough, I do not think it’s reasonable for you to call someone a cunt and tell them to fuck off because they look at you in a way you don’t like. If you’re coughing in a public place at the moment, people are going to be scared and alarmed.

[NataliaOsipova]

Would I BU to say fuck off?

You would - and they’d then have the right to hold something over you, if you see what I mean. The best way to deal with this sort of thing is to call it out imperiously. “Is that look/tut directed at me?”. When they mutter something about Covid, call them out with a “not that it’s any of your business, but I happen to have a lung condition. Just consider yourself lucky not to have an illness or disability that people sneer at.” And walk off. They won’t like being called out and may think twice about doing it again....

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

@Aridane

But how would you like to be quizzed on a cough whilst shopping when you know you have a cough, no Covid 19 symptoms and some annoying busy body is making out you have the plague??!!

Except the OP was more fucking / cunting about dirty looks and tut.

And, no, wouldn’t bother me.

But it doesn't happen to you does it? So do come back and tell me if it bothers you if you're ever in this unfortunate position and you know it's going to be for the rest of your life...

(I sincerely hope you're not in this position, I don't mean it in that horrible way, just that you actually don't know what it's like so it's easy for you to say that!)

[dottiedodah]

Misssandra I agree ,I would love to hear what a "Waitrose" shopper sounds like! My Friend has a strong West Country accent and shops there! My friends who have good jobs and a MC lifestyle seem conversely to go to either Lidl or Aldi! Any time I have been there (Waitrose )lots of students /older people .BTW Sainsburys Shopper here what sort of accent should I have ?

[emmathedilemma]

I think @D4rwin has nailed it. I don't often shop in Waitrose but whenever I do I swear never again!

[Beautiful3]

My husband felt sorry for a lady waiting in a pharmacy queue. Her coughing attracted stares and tuts (not from my husband). The lady tried explaining that she has a chest infection and was in the queue for anti biotics. My husband told her not to worry as it's not her fault. I can only imagine how horrible som peoples judgemental looks feel when you're unwell/have a disability. Sorry op

[flaviaritt]

BTW, I hardly ever think people are rude in Sainsbury’s. Waitrose, yes. They walk in front of you. Asda, yes, they block the aisles. But Sainsbury’s, people are pretty civil.

[TiersTiersTiers]

@UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle

Try to ignore yourself. Don't lower to swearing back what is the point really?

[WorryBadger]

"FU" cough

"FU" cough

OK, maybe not in real life, but I can understand the impulse. Leave the judgey pant brigade to judge, you can't change them, their behaviour or their thoughts.

[cologne4711]

But OP if you use the f word (and particularly the c word which I find incredibly misogynistic and think should be banned from MN, it's funny how things far less offensive get banned) you reduce yourself to their level. A hard stare should be sufficient.