AIBU to tell someone to fuck off in Waitrose ( warning, may contain masks)

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Is it me? Why are people so fucking rude in Waitrose? I live near three supermarkets, Lidl, Asda and Waitrose and this never happens in Lidl or Asda (or when I'm with DH funnily enough )

I have a lung condition, and sometimes cough - I try not to, I wear a mask, I am discreet, I cough into my elbow. I genuinely do understand the sound of a cough can be alarming these days and if someone looks nervous (especially elderly people) I will explain it and say I don't have CV...this is fine, I understand.

But why do people feel the need to be fucking rude and make direct comments or tut give me disgusted looks? It's happened before and just yesterday I had to remove my mask and use my inhaler (I actually sanitise my hands and put a new mask on) Why the fuck would someone give me a dirty look and tut (and I didn't imagine it)?!

So my question is, what is an acceptable response to people doing this or worse, questioning me in a rude manner, because I am that close to just saying fuck off, quite honestly. The only reason I didn't say this to the last person (who asked me if I should be leaving the house ) was because they had a child with them.

I always have a severe case of esprit de l'escalier afterwards (eg I could have answered rude woman with yes, and should your child be in school with an equally judgy look )

It's getting to the point where I am nervous about going out because I it's actually quite upsetting. Would I BU to say fuck off? (DH thinks this is acceptable and I should also add "you cunt" but I don't think I could bring myself to say cunt in Waitrose...)

[JuliaJohnston]

I’m smiling at you baulking at the idea of saying cunt in Waitrose . That would make me smile if I was walking past you
Why would walking past someone telling someone else to "Fuck off, you cunt" make you smile?
God love you if you're that easily entertained.

[Cadent]

@ravenmum

I will explain it and say I don't have CV.
I guess you mean that you say you have lung disease?
I wouldn't say anything (and don't shop in Waitrose), but if someone coughed near me and then said "I don't have Covid", I would be secretly thinking "if you think you know that you don't have Covid, when literally anyone could have it at any time, then you might not be well-informed enough to take proper hygiene precautions and are more likely to have it than the next person".

Given OP has a lung condition and knows she has no symptoms of Covid, then she can say with some authority that she has a lung disease, not Covid.

[AriettyHomily]

I've got bronchitis. Cough into my elbow all of that.

Waitrose shoppers haven't batted an eyelid. Lidl they heard me cough and crammed closer together than they already were.

[ravenmum]

Given OP has a lung condition and knows she has no symptoms of Covid, then she can say with some authority that she has a lung disease, not Covid.
Of course she can't. If OP ever catches Covid (pardon, OP; please don't!) then there could well be an initial stage at which she has Covid but has not yet developed bad enough additional symptoms for that to be clear.

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Love the thought that if I tell someone I'm coughing due to lung disease not CV, that person would be judging me as having inadequate hygiene I can assure you, given how high the stakes are, hygiene is a priority for us...

And Annie I think if you re read I was asking if I would be unreasonable to tell people to fuck off, not "advice to tell people to fuck off" (I'm not sure what you mean by that? It would be a weird thread that said "How do I tell people to fuck off?" "say fuck off" "thank you")

I'm quite happy to be told IWBU to tell people to fuck off!

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Actually I'm amazed no one has judged me for going to buy cake when it's not an essential item Although being judged for leaving the house at all was a bit of a low point...

[HeyBlaby]

I honestly wish I told more people to fuck off

[ravenmum]

I wouldn't be judging you; I'd be worried at how uninformed you were.

[ravenmum]

(I wouldn't be worried for your sake; I'm not that holy :D)

[picosandsancerre]

I hear you OP. MY DH was in the middle of radiotherapy for his lung when lockdown hit in march. He had already had surgery and radio to his throat and had no saliva, a dreadful harsh cough and he had to travel daily for his treatment. He could clear a train carriage when he started coughing and clearing his throat, which started off being quite funny. Obviously very few folks were on the train going forward. however he travels to the cancer centre alot and has started more treatment for the lung. He is very chesty and has alot of mucus, he is tested for COVID regularly too. However I was getting worried about him being targetted for coughing and sounding ill. People staring , shaking there heads etc. He at one stage had to stand and tell people he is in the middle of treatment for lung cancer. They all hung there heads in shame. He doesnt need to wear a mask as he has issues with breathing and asthma however he does. The folks that tut and shakes heads are the same folks who would sit outside a paeditricians house thinking there a paedophile....twats

[Haskell]

Well, uncouthbehaviour, after the description of your hair, which sounds amazing, I was going to say YANBU...but the fact that you go there to buy almond croissants has completely won me over- they are literally the best thing Waitrose sell! Sadly my waistline does not like them as much as my taste buds do...

@Aridane "Ashamed" cough is the most marvellous autocorrect ever; so appropriate for current times

[Haskell]

X-post with Picos there- I do hope he is responding well to the treatment

[Armi]

We’re in the middle of a pandemic and coughing is a main symptom. People don’t know you have a lung condition (how could they?!) nor are they connected to some hive mind that registers that information and shares it amongst the general public so everyone knows your situation.

It must be extremely frustrating for you to feel you have to repeat this information, however shouting, ‘Fuck off you cunt’ at someone having a pretty rational reaction under the circumstances is not only unbelievably rude but likely to land you in trouble for aggressive behaviour.

As others have suggested, perhaps having a printed card you can show to people might help. Most people if they knew what your issue was would accept it but you can’t reasonably expect people to just know. Either that or just grow a thicker skin to it, stick your nose in the air and sail on by.

[Devlesko]

"Why does your face resemble a camel chewing a wasp?"
It is Waitrose after all
Keep the swearing for Aldi and Lidl, maybe Asda

[BigButtons]

My Dp works for the NHS. During lockdown, when we had to queue for the supermarket ,he could go in the NHS priority queue obviously . The only person that ever complained about this was a man standing near the front of the normal queue at a Waitrose.

[cologne4711]

@UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle

Actually I'm amazed no one has judged me for going to buy cake when it's not an essential item Although being judged for leaving the house at all was a bit of a low point...

I think we the police got over that bit of nonsensical drama...although fully expecting it to start again in NI and Wales. We've already got the no driving for exercise nonsense.

[cologne4711]

I didn't know Waitrose sold almond croissants. Might have to have a look. Though my waistline won't like it

[Mustbe3ormorecharacters]

“Is it an intelligent idea to stop and talk to someone you suspect has the virus?”

[SleepOhHowIMissYou]

Don't tell them to fuck off. Don't call them a cunt. Don't cough in their direction (think of the Belly Mujinga case). That's not okay.

Do ask them where you can find the almond croissants and then look surprised when they explain that they don't work there. The snootier the person, the better this works.

[Mustbe3ormorecharacters]

You might want to try glazing the croissants with the melted jam of your choice, I love almond croissants brushed with melted marmalade.

[WombatChocolate]

Saying ‘F off you c’ is never acceptable and will achieve nothing, apart from convincing people you are aggressive and unpleasant....and you would be if you say this.

It is fine to say ‘I’m finding your tutting rather rude. People have all kinds of conditions which mean they cough but are perfectly safe to be out’ or similar, if you feel the need to say something.

Expand your vocabulary so you can express how you feel without being rude or aggressive.

[Flylilly]

Overheard by a friend in Waitrose- woman talking to her young child “Can you say K-A-L-A-M-A-T-A?”

[Unjustlyconfused]

I work in the hospital and I'm a chronic asthmatic.. I also do not drive. So wearing my mask on the bus to work, I had a bit of a tight chest half way through the journey so took my mask off to use my inhaler, which is allowed- but my inhaler was in my bag, under my uniform, which I had to take out in order to get said inhaler. The woman behind me made a comment about how I 'work in the hospital so should know better than to remove my mask'. I couldn't use my inhaler and struggled to breathe for the rest of the journey (which takes just over an hour).

Honestly, people are just shit.

[MiddleClassMother]

I think the issue is with the ignorant people who assume a cough means you have covid 19. Not Waitrose.

[raaaasss]

Oh man is it Anglesey or Abergavenny waitrose? We always get this in there from old farts, not for coughing but being scruffy and daring to shop in waitrose!