AIBU to tell someone to fuck off in Waitrose ( warning, may contain masks)

[UncouthBehaviourInTheCakeAisle]

Is it me? Why are people so fucking rude in Waitrose? I live near three supermarkets, Lidl, Asda and Waitrose and this never happens in Lidl or Asda (or when I'm with DH funnily enough )

I have a lung condition, and sometimes cough - I try not to, I wear a mask, I am discreet, I cough into my elbow. I genuinely do understand the sound of a cough can be alarming these days and if someone looks nervous (especially elderly people) I will explain it and say I don't have CV...this is fine, I understand.

But why do people feel the need to be fucking rude and make direct comments or tut give me disgusted looks? It's happened before and just yesterday I had to remove my mask and use my inhaler (I actually sanitise my hands and put a new mask on) Why the fuck would someone give me a dirty look and tut (and I didn't imagine it)?!

So my question is, what is an acceptable response to people doing this or worse, questioning me in a rude manner, because I am that close to just saying fuck off, quite honestly. The only reason I didn't say this to the last person (who asked me if I should be leaving the house ) was because they had a child with them.

I always have a severe case of esprit de l'escalier afterwards (eg I could have answered rude woman with yes, and should your child be in school with an equally judgy look )

It's getting to the point where I am nervous about going out because I it's actually quite upsetting. Would I BU to say fuck off? (DH thinks this is acceptable and I should also add "you cunt" but I don't think I could bring myself to say cunt in Waitrose...)

@Beautiful3

Your husband sounds great!

Can you laminate a card as keep it in your handbag
Show it to anyone who is rude

How polite or informative about your condition is up to you but I'd be tempted to have two sides one for "concerned" folk and one for rude

Thank you for your concern, I'm covid free but I have a lung condition

I actually only really go in there for almond croissants I can't afford to do a weekly shop there (hence I'm definitely not in the same demographic as a lot of people there doing their full shop).

I do think my appearance causes some of these people to judge me (although I would have thought they would be less likely to be rude as they may have thought I look the type to smack someone in the mouth)

Certainly my DH looks the same and people are never rude to him

OP, jokes aside, you should politely tell people to mind their own business. I am tempted in many situations to tell people to fuck off and have always regretted saying it because some people believe you "lose the argument" the moment you use offensive language. So I would probably go with "Are you tutting at me? You know nothing about me or my health, mind your own business"

Just get one of those lanyards?!

I think you're probably giving off arsey vibes tbh. I'd probably be annoyed if someone was coughing etc and think why haven't they stayed at home!

Lanyards, medical exemption, no mask - all makes sense, no issues.

You're inviting people to be dicks!

My Sainsbury's has the self scan option which is marvellous.

My Waitrose is very small and perhaps that's the problem. It's run like a private member's club for the regular, older locals. Part of me thinks its lovely that the woman on the till wants to chat for ages to the lady in front about her dog/grandkids/the weather, and part of me wants to commit hari kiri.

Just tell them you have a lung condition, you shouldn’t have to but I think it’s understandable that they are worried. Maybe point out you’re at risk with your condition. I think it’ll make them reconsider tutting next time whilst de-escalating the issue.
I don’t think it’s a Waitrose social class issue, it’s age and a lack of social inhibitions amongst some older people.

@StarUtopia

Just get one of those lanyards?!

I think you're probably giving off arsey vibes tbh. I'd probably be annoyed if someone was coughing etc and think why haven't they stayed at home!

Lanyards, medical exemption, no mask - all makes sense, no issues.

You're inviting people to be dicks!

I think you mean "Your disability is inviting people to be dicks!"

Clearly they are just dicks and it's not me inviting anything, it's not my "fault".

But it doesn't happen to you does it? So do come back and tell me if it bothers you if you're ever in this unfortunate position and you know it's going to be for the rest of your life...

(I sincerely hope you're not in this position, I don't mean it in that horrible way, just that you actually don't know what it's like so it's easy for you to say that!)

I have a lanyard for these occasions (when from time to time I get an ashamed cough).

And an apologetic smile and grimace normally does the trick.

ASTHMA cough, not ASHAMED cough!

Personally I'd tell them to fuck off. If they are offended by this then perhaps they should have thought about offending me.

@Viviennemary

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

somewhat missed the point.

Some people ALWAYS cough. It is part of their life.
They can't sit at home just because you are too unintelligent to realise that not all coughs are covid!

Ha ha - it got deleted as I was commenting on it!

Yabu but only for shopping in Waitrose. Its the Mecca of the chewy faced and sanctimonious. I would love to hear someone say fuck off you cunt in there. Imagine the olympian busom hooking it would inspire

Why not just explain briefly? “Sorry - I’m not ill. I have a lung condition”. If you tell them to fuck off, you’re just going to seem like one of the idiots who go out when they’re ill and don’t GAF about other people. “Fuck off” is the response of someone who knows they’re in the wrong.

You’re not in the wrong, so a simple explanation is the way to go if you need to say something.

Ashamed cough Freudian slip

I won't do an apologetic smile as I don't think I have to apologise. As I said in my
OP if someone looks nervous I will smile and explain. It's the judging and rudeness that fucks me off.

I do agree I would lose any moral high ground by saying fuck off. I would say it in an exasperated fed up way not an aggressive way. I may be overthinking this

May I just say, I didn't report VivienneMarys post - I prefer things like that to stand so other people see the attitudes we are up against.

Cough louder. In their direction.

I would just smile and explain. I don't actually think using those words to a stranger in a shop is appropriate. You have no idea of their circumstances.

@ShayAndBlueSeeker

I have an asthmatic cough. If I need to cough I apologise, smile and explain to anyone near. Never had an arsey reaction. I think you are probably giving off slightly more aggressive vibes than you think!

Agree. That comes across I’m this post.

Cough louder. In their direction

I think they would shoot her if she did. Or batter her with a baguette.

Why should people have to explain to strangers in a supermarket about their health conditions. Fuck off is about all they'd get from me. If that makes me look bad who gives a fuck, I don't know those people. Fuck 'em I say.

Awww I switched to Waitrose right at the beginning when there was chaos at the local big Sainos. The Waitrose is smaller but really well organised and better stuff. Plus 100% mask compliance every time I've been - unlike the local small supermarkets

Why should people have to explain to strangers in a supermarket about their health conditions

They shouldn’t. But I do think that calling it out will make that person (presumably a serial tutter) think twice before doing it again. Possibly to someone else who is less able to stand up for herself. So I see it as a bit of a public service in that sense!