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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

675 replies

Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:26

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

OP posts:
AranciaRosso · 08/10/2020 21:33

YANBU and I understand your anger. I'm not sure I'd comply to be honest because there's only so much you can take

Frappuccinofan · 08/10/2020 21:34

I’m in a local lockdown area and tbh, nothing has changed. It still feels like it did after full
lockdown was over

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/10/2020 21:34

Sucks OP- not sure on the rules, can you see them on walk etc?

Lostinacloud · 08/10/2020 21:34

Not going to be told to just get on with it by me. In fact I am willing the whole of the UK population to stop just getting on with it and to push back against this control by fear. How dare any government tell any free individual that they are not allowed to see their own family. I actually cannot believe that people are willingly accepting this no matter what is going on.

vanillandhoney · 08/10/2020 21:36

TBH I suspect most people will ignore it. I don't blame them either.

Frappuccinofan · 08/10/2020 21:36

One of my best friends lives in Leicester and has been seeing her friends and family as normal 🤷🏼‍♀️ She visits her vulnerable nan at a distance, but she’s definitely had dinner out with the rest of her family (she doesn’t live with them) and has visited her friends in different cities etc. I’m under the impression that no one is policing this

FatGirlShrinking · 08/10/2020 21:37

As one of the poor people in Leicester, honestly you just need to get on with it. Yes it sucks but it won't be forever, you can still call, FaceTime and such. We've even started going the old fashioned route of sending postcards, letters, drawings and stuff in the post just to change it up.

We could still meet socially distanced in an outdoor public space like a park but our only family are my in laws who are both over 70 with varying health conditions and who have DHs nan who is 92 living with them. So it is too big a risk.

ballsdeep · 08/10/2020 21:37

@Frappuccinofan

I’m in a local lockdown area and tbh, nothing has changed. It still feels like it did after full lockdown was over
Same here. I go and visit my parents as I rely on them for childcare!
Northernsoullover · 08/10/2020 21:38

Its horrible I agree. However a friend of mine has just visited her parents and just found out that one of her close contacts has tested positive. Now she waits to see what happens while she self isolates. You don't think it will happen to you until it does.

RaspberryHartleys · 08/10/2020 21:38

It sucks, it really does.

But the cases are doubling every fortnight at the moment. We need to do everything we can to get cases down so schools can stay open IMO.

FatGirlShrinking · 08/10/2020 21:39

@Frappuccinofan

One of my best friends lives in Leicester and has been seeing her friends and family as normal 🤷🏼‍♀️ She visits her vulnerable nan at a distance, but she’s definitely had dinner out with the rest of her family (she doesn’t live with them) and has visited her friends in different cities etc. I’m under the impression that no one is policing this
One of the reasons Leicester rates today are basically the same as they were when we went into lockdown. If people followed the rules we may not be on day 101 of additional restrictions.
harridan50 · 08/10/2020 21:39

Totally agree with lost in cloud I fear the harm this is creating is immense and far outweighs covid

Lalallama · 08/10/2020 21:39

It is total crap isn't it. Thank you for mentioning Leicester OP, I really do feel we've been completely forgotten about. We've not been allowed in my parent's house or garden (or them in ours) since March. We're lucky that we live close enough to them that we can meet them in parks or on walks, but it's getting more difficult now the weather is getting worse. DH hasn't been able to see his parents at all as they're too far away to travel for the day and we're not allowed to stay over.

Are you near enough to your parents that you can meet them in a park for a walk?

DerbyshireMama · 08/10/2020 21:40

Just go and see them. I have generally followed the rules but no government is going to keep me away from my family. I am saddened that so many people are willingly letting that happen. Not on my Nelly.

Original poster
Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:40

Technically you can’t even meet outdoors under the new rules. I don’t understand how they can make it the law without any consultation or a proper process. How can we live in a county where laws can be passed so quickly that impact so greatly on our lives.

It’s so much of my small children’s lives that are being messed up with all this. I’m so angry tonight about all of it.

OP posts:
00100001 · 08/10/2020 21:40

Just to and see them.

Majority of people are just ignoring the law.

movingonup20 · 08/10/2020 21:41

Officially I haven't been allowed to see my kids since March - Leicester never came out of lockdown. In reality we haven't played by the rules, they are barely adults and it's completely unfair they officially had to choose between their parents (we had specific issues but others have had the same issue).

00100001 · 08/10/2020 21:42

@RaspberryHartleys

It sucks, it really does.

But the cases are doubling every fortnight at the moment. We need to do everything we can to get cases down so schools can stay open IMO.

They won't close the schools again, because they won't do the furlough scheme again. Who's going to look after the kids?
Original poster
Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:43

Both myself and my parents work in schools. The risk to us is already high from our own work places. Why can my mum spend all day with other peoples children but not spend an hour with her own grandchild?

OP posts:
movingonup20 · 08/10/2020 21:43

@FatGirlShrinking

That's not the reason in Leicester, it very specific culturally sensitive issues.

FeckOffCup1 · 08/10/2020 21:44

Just go and see them. Everyone else is. I simply cannot face another lockdown if I follow the rules to the letter - this year I’ve separated from my husband and I’m alone with my dc. I need to see my mum, she needs to see us as she lives alone and won’t speak to anyone if we don’t visit.

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2020 21:45

I'm not angry but I do agree with lost in a cloud. It terrifies me how quickly things are happening that a year ago we'd have laughed at and called overly dramatic. Don't be silly, even if there's a pandemic they won't stop you seeing your family.
And yet now most, me included, accept it.

StealthPolarBear · 08/10/2020 21:46

FeckOffCup1cant you form a support bubble?
Problem with breaking the law among other things, fines are huge

Lalallama · 08/10/2020 21:47

Also the school situation is getting my down too. DD will have had less than two weeks of school this half term. One child has a positive test and that's another 300 children (whole year group) isolating for two weeks, and this is now the third time she's had to do this and not be allowed out of the house. It's so unfair on children.

LadyCatStark · 08/10/2020 21:47

Welcome to our world. It sucks, YANBU 😡

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