Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 26 27

Original poster

To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

675 replies

Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:26

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

OP posts:

Unsure33 · 08/10/2020 22:16

So as you are living in the area why do you think the lock down is not working ? And if everyone refuses to adhere to the lockdown what do you think will happen ?

Also when we were in full lockdown before you were allowed to visit vulnerable people has that changed now ?

Original poster

Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 22:16

@Elsewyre I would gladly pay the fine but am worried about the criminal record as my job relies on a clear DBS.

OP posts:

Toothsil · 08/10/2020 22:17

I'm in an area that's been in a local lockdown for a few weeks. We have had 3 cases in our town recently out of a population of around 12,000 but we are lumped together with the whole north east. DH and I can't see our parents, yet today I was in a meeting with several others, DD is still allowed to go to her drama group and school....my parents are getting upset because of not seeing us, they're in their late 70s.

Codexdivinchi · 08/10/2020 22:17

@WombatChocolate

People often see anomalies in the rules and say ‘why can my child be in a room with 30 kids and I not see my old Nan’ etc etc.

The thing is, government has had to make choices. X amount of contact can happen and keep the virus under control and the question is where that should be ...what’s the best ‘use’ of the contact society can manage to have?

It’s been decided schools should stay open....that a big priority is for children to not miss more education. And it’s been decided to keep businesses running as much as possible and safe for limit economic damage. And the things that haven’t been chosen might end up being household mixing.....because that is where most of the infections happen and because it’s deemed less vitally necessary than some of the other things.

It’s a value judgement isn’t it. Some people will say seeing their NaN is more important than people going to pubs, or people going to school. But the thing is, we can’t all just choose and actually reduce contact to a level where it doesn’t spread. So it relies on us all doing what we’re asked to. When lots of people don’t, what’s the effect....cases rise and restrictions will tighten and be needed for longer still.......but people do t seem to be able to see that connection.

So when people are told they can’t have Christmas with each other, or perhaps the schools are closed again, or perhaps another year of school exams needs cancelling, or holidays next summer aren’t allowed....people will need to rememberer that their actions in ignoring what they were asked to do now have helped cause that.

You forgot to add the value of sports in there.

22 men can tackle each other in foot ball but I can’t sit in my grandmothers garden SD.

If the rules made sense people would happily follow them - but they don’t.

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/10/2020 22:18

@Chloemol stop blaming people not following the rules they are not responsible for this! Lockdown was never going to work. The virus had spread too far before anyone took it seriously. No country has eliminated this virus by lockdown it just delays and controls the spread.

What is going on in our care homes is inhumane and plain wrong. Yes we need to protect people but we need to find new ways of doing so. Start thinking outside the box.
The saying by Albert Einstein about 'the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results' springs to mind!

Unsure33 · 08/10/2020 22:18

We got broadband and a portal for my parents who are 89 it did help them . But also visited wearing masks and socially distancing as they are both vunerable . Did not hug or kiss though as that is where a lot of the problems are.

Codexdivinchi · 08/10/2020 22:18

[quote Snailsetssail]@Elsewyre I would gladly pay the fine but am worried about the criminal record as my job relies on a clear DBS.[/quote]
Same here

DownThePlath · 08/10/2020 22:18

Just go and see them

1FootInTheRave · 08/10/2020 22:19

Absolutely sick of it.

My 89 year old gran has deteriorated rapidly since march. Living a half life, lonely and miserable. I presume many others are the same. Mental health issues are on the rise, my own are worsening. Not to mention collapse of the economy and subsequent deaths from resulting poverty.

Where does it end?

This isn't sustainable and covid is likely to be around a very long time.

amitoooldforthisshit · 08/10/2020 22:20

looks like someone has to put their "big girl blouse" on and get on with it

Wowthisisreal · 08/10/2020 22:20

@Chloemol so we stay in lockdown forever? Lockdown just presses the pause button. It doesn't fix anything.

WombatChocolate · 08/10/2020 22:20

Yes, because there are a lot more Nans in the country than rugby teams! If we all sat with our Nans, more of them will die than if we don’t.

That statement ‘Don’t kill granny’ said it pretty well. Why people think they can visit their Granny and keep her 100% safe I just don’t know.

It’s about the big pirciture isn’t it, not the individual NaN vs the rugby team, but the fact that the choices of thousands and thousands of people make the difference on a macro level. And it’s in a macro level that the virus needs sorting out for life to go back to normal.

indemMUND · 08/10/2020 22:21

It's a virus, and it will rip through anyone it can regardless of what "rules" are imposed. It has no conscious thought. By all means continue to be an available vessel it can infect and give it means to spread, but you're shouting into the void because people gave voice. Boris, Trump, it doesn't matter. Ignorance, entitlement and bloody mindedness is exactly what ensures that it doesn't go away. People will do as they please but continue to bitch and moan. I'm sure it's a bag of fucking laughs for those struggling with grief as a result.

ceeveebee · 08/10/2020 22:23

Are you not allowed to form a childcare bubble (which is not restricted to single parents)
You are in Greater Manchester and I thought that was the case in all the local lockdown areas in England?

LilyPond2 · 08/10/2020 22:23

@Codexdivinchi You mentioned that your grandmother is worried about meeting you due to concern at being reported by neighbours. In all the regulations I've seen, there's always been an exception for assisting a vulnerable person, and "vulnerable person" has generally been defined as anyone over 70. If your grandmother is worried, would it actually help to explain about the specific exemptions in the regulations?

Zampa · 08/10/2020 22:24

Well, if everyone takes the attitude of ignoring the rules and carrying on seeing whoever they want, the length of restrictions will just be longer and longer

Whilst I agree with @wombatchocolate, I can also see why some people will break the rules for those closest to them with ill health or in need of additional support.

People will always come up with exceptions to the rules but we have to be honest and admit any and all rule breaking will contribute to the spread of the virus.

Smallereveryday · 08/10/2020 22:25

@Lostinacloud

Not going to be told to just get on with it by me. In fact I am willing the whole of the UK population to stop just getting on with it and to push back against this control by fear. How dare any government tell any free individual that they are not allowed to see their own family. I actually cannot believe that people are willingly accepting this no matter what is going on.

Then you obviously don't understand what a VIRUS means.. and are happy to infect people who will die because you are so self absorbed..

Feelingconfused2020 · 08/10/2020 22:26

The people who are saying they will still see grandparents please remember how many people have been shown to be asymptomatic. If you choose to still see relatives over 70 please please keep 2m distance.

My children haven't seen their paternal grandparents for months and they haven't stayed overnight this year because of restrictions at various times but we would never forgive ourselves if they were asymptomatic having been exposed at school and passed it on and caused serious health problems.

CoronaIsWatching · 08/10/2020 22:27

I think people are fed up of living under a dictatorship, especially when members of the government show such disregard for the "rules" themselves and don't even have the decency to resign.

I'm certainly not complying with any law trying to stop me seeing my family or staying over at DP's, and I'm in an area that may face tougher "restrictions" next week. I think the majority are on the same page as me.

I'm still wearing a mask, washing hands often, and keeping socially distance, but that comes from my own common sense rather than diktat from the government.

RaspberryToupee · 08/10/2020 22:27

I’m in an area with very low cases, and have been low throughout. I still can’t see my family and haven’t seen them since February because they’ve been in a local lockdown area.

ChodeOfChodeBall · 08/10/2020 22:27

@Lostinacloud

I agree with this.

Lasttraintolondon · 08/10/2020 22:32

There aren't enough police near me to:
-investigate crime
-keep cars within speed limits
-be at all visible

In fact, they shut the police station. This is no criticism of the police, but a simple statement of fact. I think I'm on safe ground when I suggest they won't be fining more than the most blatant people, and often not even then. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.

Mellan · 08/10/2020 22:32

@ChodeOfChodeBall

Yeah me too.

SadiePurple · 08/10/2020 22:33

Just out of interest- the people who think we shouldn't visit elderly parents and grandparents, do you live by yourself? Are you employed? Do you have any disabilities?
Could you personally cope living completely alone, not seeing anyone for months and months, perhaps unable to use a telephone and/ or computer due to hearing and/ or sight problems? You could cope with that, with no end in sight? Really?

DailyFailstinks · 08/10/2020 22:34

Not going to be told to just get on with it by me. In fact I am willing the whole of the UK population to stop just getting on with it and to push back against this control by fear. ‘How dare any government tell any free individual that they are not allowed to see their own family. I actually cannot believe that people are willingly accepting this no matter what is going on.’

Could not agree more. Really starting to lose faith in the intelligence of the British public.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 26 27

Swipe left for the next trending thread