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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

675 replies

Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:26

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:48

@FeckOffCup1 you can forms a support bubble with your mum and see her legally as you are a single parent.

My DH works long hours so although I spend all week on my own with 2 small children I’m not able to support bubble with my parents.

OP posts:
AldiAisleofCrap · 08/10/2020 21:49

@Snailsetssail you need to think of the bigger picture your dc not seeing their grandparents for a while, will mean other children will still have their grandparents alive to visit in the future.
There are thousands of children who have lost grandparents to Covid and would give anything for them to be alive and read them stories over zoom.

MustWe · 08/10/2020 21:49

It’s already illegal for me to see my parents but I don’t care and we will be breaking the law. If anyone wants to criminalise a terminally ill 78 year old for seeing her grandchildren then feel free.

user1487194234 · 08/10/2020 21:49

I will be continuing to see my parents
Have had enough

PowPurry · 08/10/2020 21:49

100% with you OP. I’m not sure how much longer we can go on like this. After two weeks of not seeing them I went in for an hour after work today. Spending time with my parents really helps me. My mum is the only one who really looks after me. Eg knowing I haven’t had time to eat all day and making a sandwich and cuppa without even asking.

And don’t get me started on cancer patients’ appointments being cancelled/kids missing out on education/scary routines for them/hard earned businesses going under/job loss/lonely people even more isolated/peoples mental health being shot to pieces.

Justanotherlurker · 08/10/2020 21:50

YANBU, I feel the same.

No one in parliment is pushing back against these restrictions apart from some tory rebels, MN consensus was for full lockdown in March, and even said the governement was too late, with the name change functionality they can be able to do a full 180 and pretend they wasn't part of 'OMG you want to kill people' with wanting to go buy some milk!

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 08/10/2020 21:51

YANBU OP, we’ve been under these rules for a while and it’s shit, it really is Flowers Made worse by the fact it doesn’t even seem to be working and our rates are going through the roof, so it doesn’t even feel worthwhile like the first lockdown did.

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/10/2020 21:51

The thing is lockdowns don't work! This virus is here to stay. We could lockdown for months and it would still resurface when we loosen restrictions up. All we would have achieved is screwing the economy and our mental & physical health up!
No country has successfully locked down and not had any reinfections. Lockdown only works if a virus is semi contained to start with. This is global. All we need is one small reservoir of disease to trigger it all off again.

FTMF30 · 08/10/2020 21:52

Its a ridiculous, totalitarian law. Go see your family.

00100001 · 08/10/2020 21:53

Pfffft who's going to police this?

The same people who police those cyclists on pavements. It's against the law and is a fineable offence. But how many are arrested and fined?

Codexdivinchi · 08/10/2020 21:54

I am! During lock down I visited my 88 year old grandmother, I used to sit in her garden down the path with a flask and she would sit at the door.

Now she is scared to death that the neighbours will report her and we will be fined or get a criminal record.

If only just got her back out of the house after the first lock down as she had grown so frail over the summer. She’s 88 but was very active and now she looks old and she is getting depressed.

I’m so angry.

Original poster
Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:54

What really annoys me is that the figures for my area are so high because of an outbreak in a prison! They are hardly a risk to the general community when locked up!

OP posts:
whattodo2019 · 08/10/2020 21:54

Suck it up!!
How can we ever move forward it everyone refuses to abide by the rules.

Lots of people are struggling. But we have technology at least, to connect us with our loved ones. We have online shopping...

Come on, we need to pull together

itchyfinger · 08/10/2020 21:55

Fuck it. Fuck the government. Lockdown isn't working, and the impact on MH and just the sheer madness we are being expect to live in is not sustainable. Be like dominic Cummings and do what's best for your family.

For everyone who says "but it's the law, we need to stop the spread." How long are you going to think like that? Everyone has a limit. If in 6 months time we are still being told not to see our families will you be so compliant?

Codexdivinchi · 08/10/2020 21:56

@00100001

Pfffft who's going to police this?

The same people who police those cyclists on pavements. It's against the law and is a fineable offence. But how many are arrested and fined?

The thing is Boris basically told neighbours to snitch on each other which has made people feel scared. Yes don’t have fucking BBQ parties but sitting in your grandmothers garden SD should NOT be a fucking crime - especially when you go go play foot ball with 21 other people! Angry
FTMF30 · 08/10/2020 21:57

@compulsiveliar2019

The thing is lockdowns don't work! This virus is here to stay. We could lockdown for months and it would still resurface when we loosen restrictions up. All we would have achieved is screwing the economy and our mental & physical health up! No country has successfully locked down and not had any reinfections. Lockdown only works if a virus is semi contained to start with. This is global. All we need is one small reservoir of disease to trigger it all off again.
@whattodo2019
Codexdivinchi · 08/10/2020 21:59

@whattodo2019

Suck it up!! How can we ever move forward it everyone refuses to abide by the rules.

Lots of people are struggling. But we have technology at least, to connect us with our loved ones. We have online shopping...

Come on, we need to pull together

Fuck off with your suck it up. My grandmother is 88 and is withering away before my eyes. This could be her last winter and she’s stuck in her house scared to death the neighbours will report her if a family member sits in her fucking garden to talk to her.
FractionalGains · 08/10/2020 21:59

@whattodo2019

Suck it up!! How can we ever move forward it everyone refuses to abide by the rules.

Lots of people are struggling. But we have technology at least, to connect us with our loved ones. We have online shopping...

Come on, we need to pull together

Did you really just say “suck it up” to someone banned from seeing her immediate family?
WinifredSanderson · 08/10/2020 22:00

I'm thoroughly done with it. I'll be continuing to see my family regardless of any new laws imposed. Enough is enough.

ekidmxcl · 08/10/2020 22:00

That kind of lockdown with it being illegal to see your parents is a total joke when secondary schools are open. Secondaries that can should educate online for a couple of weeks. I know all of them can't, but hundreds of them can and it would make a difference. I drove past a KFC near a secondary today and there were bunches of 20+ kids of various ages socialising.

FractionalGains · 08/10/2020 22:01

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]@Snailsetssail you need to think of the bigger picture your dc not seeing their grandparents for a while, will mean other children will still have their grandparents alive to visit in the future.
There are thousands of children who have lost grandparents to Covid and would give anything for them to be alive and read them stories over zoom.[/quote]
What about the many grandparents who will die from non covid causes in the meantime and will have spent their last weeks and months alone and miserable?

Wowthisisreal · 08/10/2020 22:01

Did I write this @Snailsetssail?! Grin

Seriously though, the fact it is illegal to see your own family, the thought it would be illegal to see my own children when I have committed no crime to lose that right, I feel is a fundamental attack on human rights.

In the beginning it was about a lockdown and we didn't know what was happening and we complied. I know my GP do not want to live a life where they cannot see their family, however safe it makes them. At that age, they have been through enough and faced troublesome times but they have learned family and loved ones is most important.

The virus isn't going to go away. We need to live with this and honestly the compliance from the majority of the UK populations scares me!

etopp · 08/10/2020 22:01

I would simply ignore it, OP.

If I had stuck to the rules since March, I wouldn't have seen my non-resident DP for several months.

Not a bloody chance.

jessstan1 · 08/10/2020 22:03

Vent as much as you like on here. It's important you don't show your discontent to your children so better here than at home.

Yes it must be tough but you'll get through it.

Wowthisisreal · 08/10/2020 22:04

It found it mad in June that my DS could hug his keyworker at nursery but couldn't hug his own grandmother. What a messed up world is that?!

How crazy is that I can work in an office with 100 others but can't have my brother and his family over to our house?

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