Sil selling baby things we gave her

[Theterrible42s]

I can't decide whether to get annoyed about this or not really. I keep seeing things we handed down to SIL for sale on local Facebook groups, so it's not even like she's trying to do it on the sly. It is making me feel as though I probably won't give her any more stuff, I'll just take it to the charity shop (if they actually want it obvs) or donate to a local clothes bank etc. It's also making me grit my teeth a bit when she describes things as "barely worn" and I'm thinking, "er, I got that second hand and my kids wore the shit out of it". Mention it or let it go?

It's not always easy to pass things on. Most of my friends have had their kids or don't want any,
I don't think it's a big deal - they're no longer needed and someone else can have them while she makes a bit of money. Maybe she needs the cash? Perhaps you could frame it in your mind that by giving her the baby stuff you have helped her twice (using the clothes, and then financially). It's not as if it will be a life changing amount of money

If you were giving her things you needed or wanted to keep or would have sold, or she was hassling you for stuff and then selling it, fair do’s I’d be royally pissed off.

But it just sounds like you give things away because you prefer to and she’s prepared to put the time in and deal with the hassle of selling. Unless these are very expensive clothes we’re talking a few quid for a days work. The price she lists will not be what she gets.

@BrizNiz

It's not always easy to pass things on. Most of my friends have had their kids or don't want any, I don't think it's a big deal - they're no longer needed and someone else can have them while she makes a bit of money. Maybe she needs the cash? Perhaps you could frame it in your mind that by giving her the baby stuff you have helped her twice (using the clothes, and then financially). It's not as if it will be a life changing amount of money

Exactly. I don’t get the hostility on MN in general to a family member ‘getting something out of me’

I recently moved and we paid to transport our dishwasher, washing machine, tv and some tools to my OHs family who could do with them. If they decided they were unsuitable or need and sold them to buy something else I’d be happy to have helped them

“ It's not always easy to pass things on.”
It can always be dropped off at a charity shop or offered for free on the Facebook group it is being sold on.
I do think it is in bad taste to sell things that you’ve got for free; someone did you a kindness to save you money so you would pass on that kindness rather than trying to profiteer from it. Having said that I wouldn’t get too riled up about this but might stop giving her stuff.

When I passed stuff on (I sold one thing!) I asked if there was life in it, pass it on, donate it, sell it what ever, but don’t bin it!

Lots went to a baby bank in the first place, lots of toys to a nursery in a deprived area that I know some of the staff in, then on to family and friends. Some bits of clothes have done my two, my niece and my SIL’s friends kids. Other bits have gone to friends and again have been passed on again. Occasionally I get a photo of the new owner wearing something we bought which is lovely.

I’d let your SIL crack on if she has the time and energy to sell, I certainly didn’t!

Maybe mention next time in passing that you have some.more kids stuff that you will be passing onto someone else. Maybe she should have been more discreet about shifting the stuff you gave her on social media? If you didn't know you would not be upset but you found out. Do you think she did it to make a dig at you?