Sil selling baby things we gave her

[Theterrible42s]

I can't decide whether to get annoyed about this or not really. I keep seeing things we handed down to SIL for sale on local Facebook groups, so it's not even like she's trying to do it on the sly. It is making me feel as though I probably won't give her any more stuff, I'll just take it to the charity shop (if they actually want it obvs) or donate to a local clothes bank etc. It's also making me grit my teeth a bit when she describes things as "barely worn" and I'm thinking, "er, I got that second hand and my kids wore the shit out of it". Mention it or let it go?

Wouldn’t bother me to be honest

I've been given loads of things by people for my DC. I've also bought loads of things too. I can't remember which are which. I have so many things in the house it is easier to post on Facebook and have someone come and take things away than it is to load things into the car to take to charity shops (especially with buggies and baby bags in the boot already, it would take me a dozen trips to get rid of it all!) Your SIL is decluttering. Baby clothes rarely go for more than a few pounds on Facebook so don't begrudge it.

I would put just one post on her selling page: ‘If you didn’t want it, you could have just said so’, but then I’m a cow!

Shizzlestix Thats really cringe and pathetic.

I’m with you OP. I think that she is being a real CF. If you were planning to have more children she should have handed them back to you, if not taken them to a charity shop.

I would put just one post on her selling page: ‘If you didn’t want it, you could have just said so’, but then I’m a cow!
Indeed you are if you did that. However being a 'cow' is not a good thing.

I honestly don't get all the anger.
Op didn't want them and helped SIL out. Awesome. They now belong to SIL. She can do what she wants. She'll probably make a couple of quid but it's hardly life changing money.
I have no idea what happened to the stuff I gave away but thankfully it wasn't my problem. Selling them would have meant the hassle of people showing up or maybe not showing up, trying to barter with me, having to hang round waiting for someone to show up.

Giving them to the charity shop would mean the hassle of going into town which I try to avoid, pay for parking and carrying it through town.
To be honest I would think she has done me a favour !!

@notacooldad

I would put just one post on her selling page: ‘If you didn’t want it, you could have just said so’, but then I’m a cow! Indeed you are if you did that. However being a 'cow' is not a good thing.

I honestly don't get all the anger.
Op didn't want them and helped SIL out. Awesome. They now belong to SIL. She can do what she wants. She'll probably make a couple of quid but it's hardly life changing money.
I have no idea what happened to the stuff I gave away but thankfully it wasn't my problem. Selling them would have meant the hassle of people showing up or maybe not showing up, trying to barter with me, having to hang round waiting for someone to show up.

Giving them to the charity shop would mean the hassle of going into town which I try to avoid, pay for parking and carrying it through town.
To be honest I would think she has done me a favour !!

Good point about the hassle of going to a charity shop. At my local one you can't just go in and donate, you have to book an appointment due to covid, so even more of a pain.

Good point about the hassle of going to a charity shop. At my local one you can't just go in and donate, you have to book an appointment due to covid, so even more of a pain.
I have 6 bags of decent clothes for the charity shop.
I mentioned before about driving into town, paying for parking and then walking across the mall with bin bags. Too much hard work.
Our other ones only accept donations on certain mid week days between 09.00am-11.00am. This is when I'm at work.
If anyone e wants to take them off my hands, sort through them and sell them, come to mine at a time that suits me and you can keep your profit.
I wish i had a sister in law I could pass stuff on to!

I've had this happen to me before, I handed clothes to my friend (all really good stuff), she had a son 2 years younger than my 2nd son. Then a few years later, I posted on marketplace to see if anyone was selling a bundle of boys clothes as I'd had 2 more sons, she offered to sell me a bag of boys clothes.... got it home and it was all the stuff I had given to her!!!! Cheeky or what! Luckily, I told her I'd drop the money round another day, needless to say, I did not send money!

Very cheeky, but make a mental note of this and do not do it again! At least if they are worn, then she gets a bit more use out of them you can tell your self you did a good thing, she used them and is now clearing out, making a few quid out of it. I wouldnt bother spending the time selling for a few quid but people do. My in laws would sell half a pack of nappies or a single loo roll to get their money back. It really hurts like hell when you give them something brand new in box, and that sell that...

I think selling things you were given free is extremely cheeky.

Carlymah
I've had this happen to me before, I handed clothes to my friend (all really good stuff), she had a son 2 years younger than my 2nd son. Then a few years later, I posted on marketplace to see if anyone was selling a bundle of boys clothes as I'd had 2 more sons, she offered to sell me a bag of boys clothes.... got it home and it was all the stuff I had given to her!!!! Cheeky or what! Luckily, I told her I'd drop the money round another day, needless to say, I did not send money!

Well played!

My grotty niece (in law) just chucked our baby stuff in a skip!

Pop all future items for sale on marketplace so she can see them for sale.

I never understand the mentality of threads like this.

Unless I'm missing something you GAVE them to her you didn't LEND them to her, therefore they are no longer yours to have any form of opinion on.

You're just annoyed that she's making money off these items when you haven't but that was your choice?

If it bothers you that much, make better choices. I actually think your attitude is incredibly petty.... you said it yourself, some of this stuff was 2nd hand when you got it so it's not like you even spent your own money on this stuff.

You begrudge others and that's something you need to work on.

I think new moms just want everything new and shiny. It's her first born. Just forgive her and give her cash next time. Don't turn molehills into mountains. Allow people to be who they are and you won't give yourself a heart attack worrying about what others do or don't do. Don't let people rent space in your head.

@FelicisNox

I never understand the mentality of threads like this.

Unless I'm missing something you GAVE them to her you didn't LEND them to her, therefore they are no longer yours to have any form of opinion on.

You're just annoyed that she's making money off these items when you haven't but that was your choice?

If it bothers you that much, make better choices. I actually think your attitude is incredibly petty.... you said it yourself, some of this stuff was 2nd hand when you got it so it's not like you even spent your own money on this stuff.

You begrudge others and that's something you need to work on.

And personally, I never understand the mean-spiritedness of people like you, @FelicisNox. But there you go, we're all different. OP is not begrudging anyone anything, she just wishes her SIL had done the right thing and passed on the old clothes she'd been given and not paid for, to a charity, rather than making money from them, which in my own view is nasty behaviour.

She’s being a CF and frankly should have just donated or given them away for free on FB or something.

My sil does this all the time. My kids and her kids are all similar ages, mines are older. When our daughter (who is the youngest of our 2 kids) out grew the cot we offered it to sil As she was expecting (she is dh sister and even he can’t stand her but that’s a whole other story!). Sil took the cot And it was a beautiful cot with a Winnie the Pooh carved in it that my mum and dad had bought us and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it but about 6 months later we found it broken to bits in her garden I was devastated. Husband challenged her on it and she just said it was broken and she couldn’t possibly put her child in it. 😡. A few years later I gave her clothes that my kids had out grown (we both have a boy and a girl) Lots of the clothes were Disney clothes and in really good condition that were bought from Disney parks (again for my mum and dad) and what did she do she threw them in the bin. She was appealing for bunk beds a few years back and I gave her My daughters (for free) as she wanted a double bed. And you guessed it she got rid of them about 6 months later but this time she sold them for £75 on Facebook. Hubby said just let it go as nothing surprises him with her now.

I’ve given bags of barely worn baby stuff away to friends/relatives before and not even so much as a thanks - pisses me off

@linsey2581 sorry but what is wrong with you that you keep falling for it?

I would be annoyed and YANBU.

But probably only because I have a family member who I have bought their child brand new (not cheap) clothes at birthdays and Christmas only for them to be sold or given to charity without ever being put on the child coz “it’s not child’s style”. How a baby can have a specific style is beyond me but I don’t buy presents for them anymore because of this.

If she sells them, you should be getting the money. They aren’t hers!!!

@Porcupineinwaiting There is nothing wrong with me I genuinely thought there had to be some goodness in her. She never works and generally doesn’t give a toss about anything but I did not want to see a child go without the basics. But in recent years I don’t give a stuff about her or her kids as they have just grown to be little shits just like her.

Some people would sell their own grandmother for a quick buck. Let it go and remember never to pass anything onto her again.