to be bored stupid by gaming husband

[mallorytower]

All he wants to do is play PlayStation games all weekend. Friday night through to Monday. He will come and watch tv with me if I ask and if I book for us to go do something, like swimming, then he will go but it’s an effort to get him out of the house. He rarely suggests doing anything outside the house. Default is PlayStation on. Constantly. I spend my weekends seeing him sat on the chair, controller in hand. I want to know where other people stand on this? Am I being controlling by not wanting it on in our house all weekend. It’s just boring. It’s like somebody watching non stop Eastenders, all weekend, every weekend, month after month. I can’t work out what other people do? Is this just normal life? Do other people’s husbands just sit and game all the time?

@imfatletsparty

"What about children/young people that enjoy gaming? What about girls and women? I think you'd feel a bit of knob yourself saying "those girls and women see their little controllers as extensions of their genitals"."

Don't be silly, everyone knows that girls/women never lower themselves to such trivial things as "gaming". They've ascended beyond this immature shit to more noble pursuits such as scrolling through MN 8 hours a day fighting with people on AIBU.

Mwah ha ha

Or 👊🏻 as my unattractive maladjusted juvenile DCs would say

@PlumsInTheIcebox

It is VERY UNHEALTHY to play video games. Everybody knows this.

It is however highly commendable adult behaviour to trawl an anonymous forum, picking fights with strangers.

Ha I like you too plums you juvenile maladjusted twat you.

(I left out the "unattractive" insult as I thought it might come across as hurtful rather than light hearted )

@imfatletsparty

"I would say the difference is however, you can take away knowledge, learn from things simply by being in this site. Learn about other people’s experiences and it might make you more sympathetic/understanding to different perspectives.

You take it that these are real people and you try to post helpful advice in the hope that it helps someone. You might not be interacting with them physically but the intent is there.

Gaming is a made up world. You can’t learn anything really...."

/facepalm

what I say makes sense!

[quote RaspberryToupee]@Pikachubaby it’s not about slagging off gamers? These quotes are from the first 1.5 pages of the thread.

I’ve always made a point of avoiding gamers. If the most interesting thing you can find to do is to shoot imaginary opponents in Advanced Recon Fighter Fuckwit VI while sitting in an armchair, then you are just not my type of person. And no, it’s not the same as reading. Obviously we can only have high quality hobbies, like reading and MN as the posted is on MN.

He is like an overgrown child, when you want to have wine and conversation with a real man, a grown up.

Yes agreed. There is something rather sad and desperate about a fully grown adult who is incapable of doing anything other than sit there passively, joystick in hand, immersed in a world of cartoon violence nonsense which renders him mute and unable to interact with other people.

But I agree that there is something that seems a little 'odd' about gaming but obviously many mumsnetters will disagree, my DH spends time playing golf or cycling which many find odd but, in my opinion, that is outside, in the fresh air, being with other people, involved in the committee etc.

I’ve already said, it’s not the hobby but the man that is the problem.

@TableFlowerss when DH plays with his friends online, he has discussions with them about any number of things. He and his friends are across a number of different industries and they have used that time to have discussions about how brexit is affecting their industry. Of course, people come here for the discussion, which is AIBU and baby name threads are the most popular.

Gaming is a made up world. You can’t learn anything really.... So are books (although that’s an accepted past time so make believe is fine?) and films and quite a few TV shows. So are some threads on here...[/quote]
Good fir you and your husband. He’s lucky he’s got you. The fact it’s called ‘gaming’ there in lies the answer.

There’s nothing wrong it within reason but the OP husband sounds like a man child wanting to be in it 24/7. Like a child

@JoeCalFuckingZaghe

I would say the difference is however, you can take away knowledge, learn from things simply by being in this site.

Oh yeah definitely. I mean, I never knew what a penis beaker was but I’m fully educated on the subject now like. It’s a fucking hive mind of Mensa candidates on here love

Learning empathy/sympathy i said- not mathematics!!!!

I would say the difference is however, you can take away knowledge, learn from things simply by being in this site. Learn about other people’s experiences and it might make you more sympathetic/understanding to different perspectives.

You take it that these are real people and you try to post helpful advice in the hope that it helps someone. You might not be interacting with them physically but the intent is there.

Gaming is a made up world. You can’t learn anything really....

Your knowledge of gaming must be very limited (and you are probably quite proud of this). It is just a medium, and for every ultraviolent shooter there are four or five very beautiful games with truly engaging narratives. Role-playing games literally require you to empathise with a character and their situation.

Saying that you dislike all games and gamers based on what you've read on MN about Fortnite is like saying that you hate all books based on American Psycho and you hate all films based on the Saw franchise.

Ignoring the fact that many a thread on MN is made up bullshit so the only thing you'll learn is how to (hopefully) not be taken in by bored trolls, why does everything have to be a learning experience? Why can't something just be done for fun?

Play The Walking Dead and tell me there is no empathy/sympathy there.

@EmilySpinach

I would say the difference is however, you can take away knowledge, learn from things simply by being in this site. Learn about other people’s experiences and it might make you more sympathetic/understanding to different perspectives.

You take it that these are real people and you try to post helpful advice in the hope that it helps someone. You might not be interacting with them physically but the intent is there.

Gaming is a made up world. You can’t learn anything really....

Your knowledge of gaming must be very limited (and you are probably quite proud of this). It is just a medium, and for every ultraviolent shooter there are four or five very beautiful games with truly engaging narratives. Role-playing games literally require you to empathise with a character and their situation.

Saying that you dislike all games and gamers based on what you've read on MN about Fortnite is like saying that you hate all books based on American Psycho and you hate all films based on the Saw franchise.

There’s a huge difference between saying I wouldn’t like my DP to be a gamer and generalising ‘I don’t like gamers’ (what does that even mean

Regarding the OP, as you can see, over 95% of people couldn’t be arsed with it.

I couldn’t care less what people do in their spare time. There’s far worse things than gaming and as you say, it’s fun.

But there is a line that the OP DP has crossed over. That’s what I, and the other 92% on here think.

Why would you marry someone like that?

He is putting himself first.

Get out before you get pregnant and end up a LOT more miserable and bored than you are now.

Couldn't be arsed with the gaming or couldn't be arsed with literally any other hobby that takes up entire weekends? You don't need to look far to find threads about Mysterious Outing Hobbies (so, cycling) that take men away from their families for hours on end.

Just from what I read on here, I tend to associate addicted gamers with Slack Dads. The kind of bloke that props the baby up next to them if begged, and regards it as 'babysitting'. They are eventually divorced, and their children arrive home from contact weekends all hollow-eyed and queasy from Pringles...

It's such an anti-social passtime, and seems to be a way of shutting out family interaction and life responsibilities.

Stereotype? Sure. But there's often some truth in stereotypes.

Yes but at least with netflix etc you can leave what you are watching and go back later but online gaming you cant as you are stuck in a game with others and you cant leave a game at a crucial point

My ex would spend his life on these games, miss dinners, wouldnt come to bed and then in the end bought himself a sofa bed to sleep in the front room so he could keep playing

Fuck that. Hes now an ex

I agree, gaming isn’t the issue. It’s him

My DH and I are both gamers and I’ve met some incredible close friends whom I’ve met in real life through gaming.

I have a disability so gaming and reading is a great distraction for me and allows me to forget about pain and the difficult things in my day to day life. As does reading and crafting when I can.
However, neither my DH nor I prioritise gaming over our marriage and we make sure to spend time together every day.

We quite often play together and we find it quite social. We always chat about our days and just talk in general when we play. We played two other couples on Saturday and it was fun. And right now when we aren’t allowed to go to each other’s homes it’s a great social activity. Gaming isn’t all online shooters.

I used to have one of theose... best thing I ever did making sure I can say I used to instead of I still have one them. So unnatractive.

Just from what I read on here, I tend to associate women who ride or have horses with Slack Mums. The kind of women that if begged just drags the baby in their pram up to the stables with them, and just leaves them to sit and watch them ride and regard it as 'babysitting'. They are eventually divorced, and their children arrive home from contact weekends all hollow-eyed and queasy from olives and hoummus...

It's such an anti-social passtime, and seems to be a way of shutting out family interaction and life responsibilities.

Stereotype? Sure. But there's often some truth in stereotypes.

PS Are olives and hoummus still the favoured MN stereotype of wanky pretentious food btw? Surely we must have something else as they're just "mainstream" now (for want of a better word) I genuinely can't think of anything, clearly I need to start shopping at Waitrose

How many threads have you read in Relationships describing that scenario, Whichonenow? Fun though it sounds...

I’ve got a gaming partner and to be honest it doesn’t bother me as he still does his fair share of housework, cooking, laundry etc he also works full time so if he chooses to play on games in his spare time who am I to judge? I also have hobbies that don’t interest him in the slightest. However it would be totally different if gaming completely consumed him and he had little time for anything else, I’m not sure how anyone could stand that.

I was just thinking I would quite like that lifestyle myself as I typed it BOF

(I really want to say if all the partners of my book/reading club were on MN there would be a lot more "hobby...AIBU" ^^ threads but that might make me sound a bit of a wanker myself tbh I wish my hobby was roller derby or something)

It not right and that coming from someone married to a man who does love gaming. His games room/music/office has a giant tv and he has fourteen consoles with the new PlayStation on pre order. However he’s the hardest working person I know, self employed and out the house for long hours and it’s hard graft. He gets home we go for a dog walk, we cook dinner together most nights, he does plenty of housework and is in no way at all obsessive with gaming. Some weeks he doesn’t play one at all as he’ll be too busy. Our weekends are usually busy with DIY, Friday night is always watching telly together and sometimes he’ll go play for a whole afternoon or evening but only if we have no plans at all.

@MoistMolly

If my OH was chatting on the Internet at 05:30 in the morning, they'd be gone quick time. Can't think of anything worse.

So you’ve never been posting on MN in the early hours, then, Molly?

My husband never games but I wonder if my son will turn into a gaming adult. This is a real concern to me as its an awful awful waste of time.

It’s no more a waste of time than any other hobby or interest. I can see that it becomes a problem when it gets in the way of family life, but as a way to pass a few hours, it’s no different to watching a movie. In fact it’s arguably less wasteful because many games have ethical and moral roles to play and really make you think.

But then lots of people on here are massively quick to judge gaming as a hobby despite clearly having no understanding of it whatsoever.

[quote Sundries]@RaspberryToupee, I am actually slagging off gaming. It's very often a sign of a maladjusted, juvenile personality with poor impulse control, who ultimately prefers shooting imaginary baddies to anything that's going on in the rest of his (usually his) life -- and is to the detriment of that life. And if you think it's anything like reading, then you really don't read. I can't speak for tv, as I don't really watch and we've spent the last year living somewhere without a TV, but I imagine the difference is that even for people who spend all their leisure time watching TV, it does not require the same level of concentration or deliver the same addictive high that makes chronic gamers so frankly tiresome to be around.[/quote]
If you think gaming is nothing like reading, then you clearly don’t game.

I’m a professional in my forties who played Detroit Become Human last week when I was off work. It told a rich, interesting story with well designed characters. Each character had a motivation, a backstory, their own thoughts and actions which I helped to shape and influence as I played. It dealt with oppression, racism, media influence, violent or non-violent protest (I chose to be a pacifist) and - ironically - the impact on society of the development of true artificial intelligence, such as mass unemployment, sex clubs etc. I cried at the end, as I was so invested in these characters and I felt I’d lived the experience with them. It was deeper and richer as an experience than most books I’ve read - and I’ve read hundreds of books across all genres as well as written my own.

But no, it’s shooting imaginary baddies.

Of course it is.