Flatmate’s hygiene

[rainyday03]

I had a new flat mate move in a few days ago. They haven’t showered since being here. Whenever they use the bathroom it smells of unwashed person. They’re also a bit messy but I’ve overlooked that so far because I’m a clean freak. But I’m really struggling with the fact that my home now smells of dirty smelly person! When you walk past their room it smells even more strongly. Is there anything I can do to broach this or make it better without being rude? :(

I genuinely wouldn't know how to raise this. 🤢

I think I would be ringing the landlord too.

I think I couldnt live with someone like that. Like you, I'm a neatfreak and I would be 🤮 at the idea that they are very probably not even washing their hands after going to the toilet, spreading poo bacterias all over the flat. You can raise the issue of hygiene with them but I think it wont really change anything, some people are just not bothered about it....its more then taking a shower, being hygienic is a lifestyle choice in some wat and people who dont care about it will not change their attitude because of what their flat mate thinks.

I think you should not describe yourself as a 'neat freak' OP if you do bring this up with her - your flatmate's behaviour is not acceptable, whether you consider yourself a neat freak or not. Personal hygiene and cleanliness is not an unreasonable request!

Talk to the landlord?

@LoveEatYoga

Why is she putting dirty sheets in the airing cupboard??

I imagine they’ve been washed at some point wherever the girl lived before moving in with the op. But they’ve absorbed the smell of her previous accommodation so they stink.

Anyway, and joy op?

It's not neat-freaku to expect people to wash their hands every time they use the loo, shower regularly and clean their teeth twice a day

Palavah I couldn't agree with you more, but sadly this really isn't the norm for everyone!
Esspecially washing hands after the loo is something that many forget to do or don't care about. I even carry a mini bottle of showergel with me when I go out for a day, in case I need to use a public loo and there's no soap

Have you looked at your lease to see if there's a break clause that means you can leave before February? I'd see the bigger problem as living in a place where you have no say in who moves in with you.

@Marisishidinginmyattic

And I’ve not been out at all

Said this already but:

YOU SLEEP DONT YOU? PERHAPS SHE USES THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU ARENT WAKE LISTENING FOR THE SOUNDS OF MOVEMENT.

Caps for volume obv.

Why do some people always try to prove the OP wrong at any cost??

The woman smells, OP says she spends 90% or her awake time within earshot of the bathroom, when she showed her the bathroom the woman admitted she hadn't showered yet (saying she would maybe do it later on).
But OF COURSE the showers must have happened when OP was sleeping. What are the chances realistically? Zero.

Please don’t generalize by telling us that all British people stink, do all Australians walk about with corks dangling from their hats and calling each other cobber
Don’t be bloody stupid.

The salient point re not leaving the flat at all for 4 (or 5, 6?) days is that this is also antisocial behaviour in a flat share, unless you are too ill to go out, or in quarantine. Im assuming neither of those is the case otherwise you'd have told us already.

She showered this morning thank goodness. Her towel still stinks though and is making the bathroom smell. I imagine her sheets in the airing cupboard are ‘clean’ but just smell because the rest of her stuff does. I hadn’t been out because I suffer from endometriosis and was on my period which makes it very difficult to do anything other than the bare minimum. I went out at lunchtime today for a walk though. I wish people on Mumsnet wouldn’t always try to tear everything you say apart... but that’s wishful thinking 😂 thanks everyone. I won’t say anything to her yet but if she doesn’t shower for another 4/5 days over the next 10 or so days and it’s clearly a pattern I think I’ll address it with her; if it becomes unbearable I’ll speak to the landlord.

The salient point re not leaving the flat at all for 4 (or 5, 6?) days is that this is also antisocial behaviour in a flat share, unless you are too ill to go out, or in quarantine.

What? Where do you expect people to go!

I work from home and do a weekly shop so I go out about once a week other than for walks bit they are not mandatory

Is it like a wet dog smell? If clothes/towels/bedding aren't dried properly after washing they start to stink of wet dogs and it's hard to get rid of even after re washing.

@LoveEatYoga

The salient point re not leaving the flat at all for 4 (or 5, 6?) days is that this is also antisocial behaviour in a flat share, unless you are too ill to go out, or in quarantine.

What? Where do you expect people to go!

I work from home and do a weekly shop so I go out about once a week other than for walks bit they are not mandatory

Out. Anywhere. Unless ill or otherwise confined beyond your will. Which you and OP have done so that's all good :)

I'd wash her sheets and towels while she was out.

@WildNorthEast

I'd wash her sheets and towels while she was out.

I'd be very tempted to do this too, on a hot wash twice with an extra rinse.

@LoveEatYoga

The salient point re not leaving the flat at all for 4 (or 5, 6?) days is that this is also antisocial behaviour in a flat share, unless you are too ill to go out, or in quarantine.

What? Where do you expect people to go!

I work from home and do a weekly shop so I go out about once a week other than for walks bit they are not mandatory

Anywhere? You know everything is open? I also work from home. Today I’ve been out to the corner shop, the post office, then a sorting office in the next town. I’ve also been to the gym, and thanks to my forgetful memory I’m going back to the corner shop again shortly. Tomorrow I’m going to a spinning class and then meeting a friend for coffee, I may go to the library after if I can be bothered bringing the books with me. You know most people do generally go outside on a daily basis? If I’d noticed any of my friends/ neighbours hadn’t left their houses for even 2 or 3 days I’d be concerned enough to give them a visit. I do think there’s something going on with this girl

How horrible for you.

Is the flat cold? You could ask her if there’s a problem with the hot water supply or if she wants the heating on?

The smelly sheets in airing cupboard, just re-wash them and when she asks why say they smelled musty!

Anywhere? You know everything is open

Some of us are being vulnerable and careful due to the pandemic or are you not aware of that?

Even if you're not in the vulnerable, people need to be more careful about unnecessary contact so as to help minimise the spread of Covid.

I've been in this situation.... The person didn't do anything about it... In the end all the flatmates moved out..

If its anything like this guy, I don't think it was 'just' NO, it was ALL of his stuff appeared to be unwashed.

You could tell when he was in, as the stink was always worse... Eye watering stench in the hallways and anywhere he'd walked /left his room door open.

One of the male flatmates brought it up with him, none to gently.... He just didn't see why he should 'waste time' showering or washing clothes....

I think he was unusual. Often folk are just unaware.

It made for a very unpleasant few months. My sympathies OP

You HAVE to speak to the landlord. I am a landlady and yes it's a hassle at the moment to find people, but it's our job to deal with these matters. Tenants normally have something written into their contract that states they will not damage the property or behave in an antisocial manner. I would want to know and it sounds like you are the decent tenant that is worth retaining. Good luck!

Your post has made the Daily Mail.