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Original poster

Flatmate’s hygiene

213 replies

rainyday03 · 04/10/2020 11:06

I had a new flat mate move in a few days ago. They haven’t showered since being here. Whenever they use the bathroom it smells of unwashed person. They’re also a bit messy but I’ve overlooked that so far because I’m a clean freak. But I’m really struggling with the fact that my home now smells of dirty smelly person! When you walk past their room it smells even more strongly. Is there anything I can do to broach this or make it better without being rude? :(

OP posts:
MaraScottie · 05/10/2020 15:16

CatMagic, if that was the case, surely a shower a day would help immensely with that! It's probably no coincidence that she smells, and hasn't showered in 4-5 days. The simplest solution is usually the correct one ;)

Original poster
rainyday03 · 05/10/2020 15:26

Yes, for those of you who are being so nitpicky, it’s possible she showered when I was asleep. But like I said: the smell says otherwise, she didn’t even have a towel or any toiletries in the bathroom until this morning (a hand towel), and I used to wake up when my old flat mate showered early in the morning (she started work at 5:30am) as I’m a light sleeper so I’d have thought I’d have woken up if she showered after I’d fallen asleep. But I don’t think she’d smell so much or have such greasy hair if she’d secretly showered since being here. But there we go :)

OP posts:
ScribblingMilly · 05/10/2020 15:41

A bowl of baking soda/bicarbonate of soda in a room takes smells away - I use it for my dog. I also have an ioniser which does the same thing.

Davespecifico · 05/10/2020 15:50

She won’t know or care that she smells. Even if you explicitly address the issue, she will remain unhygienic.
I would speak to the landlord and attempt to get out of the contract. You really won’t be able to have an effect on her.

Original poster
rainyday03 · 05/10/2020 17:22

She used the loo brush and obviously didn’t tap it to get the water off at the end, I went to use it to clean the loo a minute ago and it was full of water which is gross and also had loads of used toilet roll stuck to it 🤢 is this the sort of thing I can bring up? I don’t want to pounce on her shortly after she’s moved in but imo that’s absolutely gross

OP posts:
Thisisnotnormal69 · 05/10/2020 17:46

It is gross but I’d leave it for now in case one off

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 05/10/2020 17:49

Get annoyed, you shouldn't have to live with this. She's disgusting.
Just tell her she needs to up her game, she stinks, the house is starting to stink like stale body and dirty clothes.
If she refuses to do anything call the landlord and tell him you are not going to live with this digusting woman, there are no excuses in this day and age, see what he thinks of his house becoming a stinking pile.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2020 17:50

Omg. What an absolute minger. I give you credit for not running out the door screaming already. I could not bear to share a bathroom with her.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2020 17:52

Get annoyed, you shouldn't have to live with this. She's disgusting.
Just tell her she needs to up her game, she stinks, the house is starting to stink like stale body and dirty clothes. If she refuses to do anything call the landlord and tell him you are not going to live with this digusting woman, there are no excuses in this day and age, see what he thinks of his house becoming a stinking pile.

I agree 100%. It is completely unacceptable to have such low standards of hygiene if you live in a flat share.

Ginfordinner · 05/10/2020 18:00

@Marisishidinginmyattic even if she showered while the OP was asleep, you would have thought she wouldn't smell wouldn't you?

I'm not convinced that lighting candles is the way to go. She might just think you like candles.

I would either put plastic coverings on the furniture and passively aggressively open windows and spray air freshener everywhere, or politely ask her to have a shower and wash her clothes because the flat is beginning to smell.

LST · 05/10/2020 18:02

I don't shower everyday, so that wouldn't bother me but the fact they smell would. I agree with pp. Just mention when you use the bathroom, when do they need it blah, blah.. they with either take the hint or not. Then you'll have to go from there

CherryBlossomTree7 · 05/10/2020 18:04

If she goes to work smelling and so unhygenic, then this to me, definitely suggests she is having mental health issues. If she goes to work like this OP, I think you need to ask her if she's okay.

I couldn't live like this in the long term. If things don't improve, I would have to be more direct.

Crinklyoldhag · 05/10/2020 18:15

You’ll become immune to the smell after a while

muckandnettles · 05/10/2020 18:19

You have been so patient with her so far and so understanding and it sounds as if you have been very sensitive in what you have said so far, but I think you will need to be really matter of fact about this and say something. I'm not sure of the best thing to say, but I think if she is quite cheery and jolly on the surface, you could respond in the same way and ask her if she ever showers. If she says no, then just say pleasantly that you think she needs to as it's noticeable she doesn't. If she says yes she does shower, then just say again that she maybe needs to do it more often. You can always say you hope she doesn't mind you saying, you would hope she would raise anything that she was not happy about, etc. But just be direct and be pleasant and don't dwell on it - say it and change the subject as if it's just a normal thing to say to someone. She will have been told this before, I'm sure, but probably not in a nice way.

jessstan1 · 05/10/2020 20:28

@Crinklyoldhag

You’ll become immune to the smell after a while
Really? However the op can hardly invite people round for an evening if the place smells of unwashed body and clothes. Visitors aren't going to be immune!
LoveEatYoga · 05/10/2020 20:39

Oh OP.

She sounds a bit gross.

We don't have a loo brush but it is not acceptable to leave toilet paper etc stuck to it but I'm not sure how you bring up that and the smelling. She will feel cornered and lectured. But it's not okay that she is unhygienic.

Original poster
rainyday03 · 05/10/2020 20:47

Thanks everyone. You’re right, I’d be embarrassed to have anyone round here at the moment, it’s got to the point where it smells as you come up the stairs (the washing machine is downstairs in the lobby). Yuck. It’s just awkward to raise these things as soon as she moves in, I don’t want to make an enemy of her but it’s rank and I don’t understand how she can live like this. Does she not feel dirty? If she doesn’t shower before work tomorrow I’ll try and broach the subject tomorrow evening...

OP posts:
ZebraSpotts · 05/10/2020 21:16

Febreeze plug-ins, de-odorisers in every room, bleach in warm water left filled up in every sink, will deep clean the lingering smell in the air. Then tell her the flat has started to smell of body odour and say you meant to explain the shower settings but were busy and have time to go through them with her now

LoveEatYoga · 05/10/2020 21:56

Candles etc are not enough.

I wouldn't want to eat in my own place if it smelled of someone's BO

Original poster
rainyday03 · 06/10/2020 08:08

Yeah it does gross me out that I’m just masking the smell but the dirtiness is still there. I was horrified last night to open the airing cupboard where she has put her sheets and even they have stunk the whole place out! I’m worried my sheets, towels etc are going to absorb the smell :(

OP posts:
Palavah · 06/10/2020 08:18

Had she showered this morning before going to work?

You're going to need to have a word with her. Meanwhile, open a window?

Also, is there a reason you've not left the house for 5 days?

Flittingaboutagain · 06/10/2020 08:26

Today is the test. If she showered before work I think you can hope she has had a bad break up, feels crap etc and it was a symptom of that and is over now!

PunishmentSnart · 06/10/2020 08:34

You’re going to have to have a word with her.

Your stuff will have started absorbing the smell. I’ve been in places for a short time with bad smells and have smelled it on my clothes afterwards.

This doesn’t seem like she has any form of illness making her smell, she just sounds dirty and unhygienic if she isn’t washing herself and her things.

Talk to her sooner rather than later to sort the issue.

Extrachilli · 06/10/2020 08:52

This is rank OP.

I honestly don’t even know how I’d begin to say something though, I’m such a wuss. I think I’d be ringing the landlord, explaining , asking them to come around so they could smell for themselves and say they need to have a word as you can’t carry on living with someone who never washes and smells so bad that the whole flat smells of her. No one else will want to either so it’s in their interest to get it sorted. They bloody lumbered you with her, I don’t see how it’s fair you have to put your neck on the line!

LoveEatYoga · 06/10/2020 09:06

Why is she putting dirty sheets in the airing cupboard??

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