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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Two bed house in ideal place, or a bedroom for each child?

465 replies

Mooseflake · 03/10/2020 21:14

I'm a single mum of two DSs, aged 12 & 14. I've recently had my divorce settlement so I'm finally able to move out of our rented house and buy our own home.

I've seen a 2 bedroom house in a very desirable village, Ive always wanted to live there. Think chocolate box houses and a pretty high street. The house is well within my means, and I think I could do it up and make a good profit on it within a few years. It's a bit further away from my work, and the school, but I think house prices are going to rocket there so it's a bit of a bargain.

My ex thinks I should buy a 3 bedroom house so the DSs can each have their own room, but I can't afford one in that village. It would have to be in the nearby town, where they go to school, and closer to where ExH lives, so its' more convenient in some ways but it's nowhere near as pretty.

My DSs say they dont mind sharing a room. AIBU to buy the 2 bed?

OP posts:
mamapants · 03/10/2020 21:21

Can you do an attick bedroom in the 2 bed?
I would prefer a room each for teenagers personally. They will want privacy and space.

Northernsoullover · 03/10/2020 21:23

Is one of the bedrooms big enough to divide?

MandUs · 03/10/2020 21:24

I think at their ages they'll start minding having to share pretty soon.

Frenchfancy · 03/10/2020 21:25

Much better to buy a 3 bed in the town where their school is.

Okaro · 03/10/2020 21:26

Is there a room bigger enough to be split? Or the possibility of a extension?

Do they spend much time at theirs Dads?

ChickensMightFly · 03/10/2020 21:26

Meh, modern expectations would probably say 3 bed. But a house you love becomes such a wonderful home it could well be worth it, and personally I don't think it's essential. I grew up sharing a room with my sister, our relationship was not good (nothing to do with the bedroom) and it was still fine. We viewed it as a place to sleep and were totally used to it. When I visited friends who had their own bedroom it was clearly different but I didn't feel like I was missing out. The only difficulty in that house was that it was small all over (little mill cottage) so quiet space to do your homework was more of a problem than a room share to me. If there is space enough somewhere in the house for both kids to settle down to do homework somewhere I think it would be fine.

Coldnights · 03/10/2020 21:28

I think at their ages they will need and want their own space.

VirginiaWolverine · 03/10/2020 21:29

If I were a teenager, I would much, much rather have my own room in the town where school, friends, dad and social activities were than share a room in a smaller house away from everything and rely on my mum to drive me everywhere I wanted to go. Chocolate box villages don't generally have much to offer teens.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/10/2020 21:29

Very, very soon they will mind sharing. If there is no option then of course that’s fine. But you have a choice. Forego the pretty house and give the boys a room each. You will absolutely be thankful for this before you know it.

FlapAttack23 · 03/10/2020 21:32

Definitely the 3 bed where there school is. Mostly because of it being where there school is. Move to 2 bed place when they’ve moved out in a few years !

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/10/2020 21:32

I’ve just seen the nearby town where you can afford is also where they go to school. No brainier. Buy there. Best school, friends, social lives. All really important. The village is for when they have left home.

Original poster
Mooseflake · 03/10/2020 21:33

I think I can divide the room, but that means one room will be without a window. No there's no room to extend, and no space for an attic conversion I don't think.

It's a small cottage, so there's only one living room, so not really anywhere else for the DCs to do their homework. They'll just have to get used to doing it at the kitchen table or in their room.

I don't intend to stay long at the house, I'd like to do it up and make some profit on it. Maybe 5 years maximum. So it's not my forever home, I don't love it. But it's the only place in the location that I really want to live in.

DSs have every other weekend at their Dad's.

OP posts:
uglyface · 03/10/2020 21:34

Remember you will be in this house much longer than the teens, so unless you have the money to sell up and move again in the future I’d bear that in mind.

I might be biased though, I bloody hate towns and DD will have no choice but to be brought up in a (lovely) village, as I was.

Lurcherloves · 03/10/2020 21:34

It will be so much easier for you if your sons can get around as teenagers without you having to drive them everywhere. Being close to their school, friend and dad sounds perfect and I expect it will be helpful for you too. Maybe go for the ideal village when the kids are older

notangelinajolie · 03/10/2020 21:34

My kids are grown up and I can tell you that they will be off to uni before you have time to blink. Get the right house for you - not your DH. Added bonus is your children are happy with sharing so it's a no brainer.
Buy the house you love.
Do it.

uglyface · 03/10/2020 21:34

Ah cross post. Ignore me.

negomi90 · 03/10/2020 21:36

With teens - own room in a town is no brainer. The town over the country is more important than the room issue. Town means they can get to school and activities and friends easily and independently. Being in a village reliant on you or infrequent buses to get around is a nightmare for both them and you.
If this isn't a forever home, buy in the town and then move to the village once they're at uni (or have cars).

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/10/2020 21:37

The cottage is far too small from what you have said. The next 5 years are crucial for your children. Don’t buy it.

Original poster
Mooseflake · 03/10/2020 21:37

The DS say they dont mind, and they don't really do any after school stuff. Im not keen on driving so I don't want to be ferrying them around everywhere!

The village has been on my wish list for years, I can finally afford to live there now! I don't want to lose that chance, another house might not come up there for ages!

OP posts:
Meredusoleil · 03/10/2020 21:38

@Frenchfancy

Much better to buy a 3 bed in the town where their school is.
This basically.
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/10/2020 21:38

You have clearly decided. Why ask on here?

Twigletfairy · 03/10/2020 21:38

If they was younger, I would go for it. But at their ages, I would prefer to give them a room each. They may be alright now, but in a couple of years it could be completely different.

It's not like you even love the house

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 03/10/2020 21:42

If their dad lives in the town where their school and friends are they will vote with their feet eventually, EOW will become most weekends, maybe a Sunday night or a weeknight if they've got something going on in town. The lure of convenience will be strong. That could be ok for you though as long as you don't make them feel guilty for wanting that and they'll get to spend more time with their dad

Leeds2 · 03/10/2020 21:42

I would choose the 3 bedroom in the town where their school is. Maybe move to your desired village in future years, maybe when they have left home.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 03/10/2020 21:42

buy the 3-bed - no brainer