Homesick DD locked down in uni room

[RollercoasterRita]

We took our DD to university in the middle of September. She was excited and full of hope. Now due to someone in her halls of residence being tested positive for COVID, her whole floor has been locked down in their tiny rooms with food parcels being delivered to outside their doors. Totally understand the precautions which need to be taken, but my baby girl is lonely and scared and homesick and I just want to drive up there and get her. I feel so helpless....

How awful

I’d drive up there no doubt. And then either talk outside window if she’s ground floor and pass through treats and presents.

Or i would go to hall and stand outside closed door and talk to her if allowed (presumably people are delivering food so allowed?)

Can she receive post? Can you send her a nice treat parcel?

Surely she just has to isolate in her bubble - ie with the people she shares a kitchen with. She doesn't have to stay confined to her room?

I understand it's disheartening though. How was she getting on before this?

@titchy if she’s in catered halls it’s often not separated into ‘flats’ in that way so much more difficult to set up bubbles.

I’m sorry OP, this is rotten. Agree a nice treat parcel is in order.

@titchy catered halls don’t normally have kitchens, we didn’t in mine.

Is she allowed to spend time with her hall mates, or literally confined to her room?

I feel so sorry for this years freshers, but hopefully she can bond with some of her hallmates in the next 14 days and make some friends, which should help her feel a bit more settled and less homesick.

I'd let her you know you're free to talk whenever, encourage her to keep a routine of some sort, and to start chatting to new people. Hopefully by the end of the 14 days she'll be feeling more settled.

I am a stickler for the rules but if it was doable, I'd be going to get her.

It's no way to live.

[quote afaloren]@titchy if she’s in catered halls it’s often not separated into ‘flats’ in that way so much more difficult to set up bubbles.

I’m sorry OP, this is rotten. Agree a nice treat parcel is in order.[/quote]
True. Although dd was in catered and still had a shared kitchen and bathroom so would have mixed.

@serialreturner

I am a stickler for the rules but if it was doable, I'd be going to get her.

It's no way to live.

Please don't do that. It just puts even more people at risk. My DC is still struggling with covid 3 weeks on, it's truly horrible.

Wave through a window, send a parcel, video call, but please don't break the rules.

I definitely would go and see/speak her through her window and then make a judgment call about bringing her home.

Awful times.

You're doing her no favours by treating her like a baby.

Encourage her to behave like an adult, to be calm and resilient, get on with her course work.

Oh that’s shit. No fun at all. I’d not be bringing her home - it’s only 2 weeks. But I would be driving up with a massive treats parcel and to talk out of the window.

I am sure it is rubbish but in these days of technology at least she has ways of communicating with people and I assume she will still be doing online lectures to keep her busy. Sending a treat parcel is a good idea

@2bazookas

You're doing her no favours by treating her like a baby.

Encourage her to behave like an adult, to be calm and resilient, get on with her course work.

This

2bazookas, during lockdown my 70 year old mum was entirely alone. She really struggled, we had many tearful phone calls. Does she need to grow up? My 40 year old friend ended up moving up, having lived alone since 16. Should she act like an adult? It's not a normal part of the adult experience to be locked in a small room for the majority of the day without seeing other people. It's a perfectly normal, adult, reaction to hate it.

It is rubbish. I like the idea of sending some parcels if you can afford it, or even write a few letters

I'd ask her if she wanted to come home and then go get her or bring her back at the end of the 14 days -always possible by then that she might stick it out a bit longer. Then she can study at home and go back in Jan

Go and get her!

I wouldnt travel to see her. But I would def send her a care package to cheer her up
By Christmas she'll have tales to tell you. She'll survive. But that doesnt mean you can't treat your DD

@2bazookas

You're doing her no favours by treating her like a baby.

Encourage her to behave like an adult, to be calm and resilient, get on with her course work.

That's so harsh. The OP is rightly concerned about her DD being lonely, scared and homesick as any parent would be.

I would go get her and bring her home if she wanted.

Oh poor thing, so sorry this has happened.

YYY to driving up with food parcels. My parents are currently shielding and my brother is making it a bit of a fun thing with food delivered in a basket at the end of a rope.

Also- how much support is she getting from her uni? Has she got a Personal Academic Tutor? Can she get in touch to chat.

Also, other students on her module- is there something like a discussion board they can meet on?

I know all these are second-best, but at least it's something.

Try to encourage her to keep her chin up, try and crack on with her uni work and see how she gets on.

If she is still really struggling then to be honest

Family > Rules

It is very stressful, but a lot of students are self-isolating right now. She's not alone in a room, she will be able to mix with the other people on her floor, no?

If one of them had corona, the chances are she is at risk or has it herself. This is stressful news. Her coming home is not a good idea though unless you can genuinely cope with the idea that she is bringing it with her.

I have about 10 self-isolating students on my courses at present. One real issue for students is actually how asymptomatic it is- so many do not realise they have it and are spreading it all the while. Or they have very mild symptoms and don't realise what it is. There are exceptions to that OperationallySound sorry your DC is still sick.

Asymptomatic spread, by people at a sociable time of their lives, is what is driving these outbreaks (as a person who gets really sick starts to isolate quicker).

I think a phone call every day, send her a parcel, but do encourage her- she is not alone, and she does have people around her, and it will be over in two weeks. I also have students quarantining from abroad, so this is sadly a more usual experience than we might expect.

Baby girl?