Homesick DD locked down in uni room

[RollercoasterRita]

We took our DD to university in the middle of September. She was excited and full of hope. Now due to someone in her halls of residence being tested positive for COVID, her whole floor has been locked down in their tiny rooms with food parcels being delivered to outside their doors. Totally understand the precautions which need to be taken, but my baby girl is lonely and scared and homesick and I just want to drive up there and get her. I feel so helpless....

I think people are only mentioning Ann frank to put things in perspective.

Care homes generally house very vulnerable people, who are reliant on others for support, aren’t always familiar with technology, and potentially could be very poorly with the virus.

Students don’t tend to be vulnerable, are used to spending lots of time communicating via devices and presumably understand the need to isolate.

Locking them in their rooms sounds harsh, but what other solutions can you think of?

My solution would have been to have made it clear that we can and will provide a full online programme for any student who would prefer to remain at home. Halls should still have been open for anyone who needed them. The problem is that when government funding dried up, universities entered all sorts of complicated agreements with landlords about guaranteed income. They are afraid that they will be fined & go bust= no teaching for nyone. (Not quite sure why ordinary tenancy agreements don't hold: when my dd lived at home during lockdown she still had to pay for her room in London, so nobody lost any money).

@Aragog I second every single thing you have said on this thread with bells on x

@corythatwas

I agree that there could have been more flexibility offered, and that anyone with half a brain could have predicted this. And that presumably the decisions were made for financial reasons. And that the universities were naive to think that students would follow the rules on distancing.

But what solutions would you suggest now? It would be irresponsible to allow them to all travel home?

See what you mean, Letsgetgoing. Think I have to agree with you there.

At the very least, universities (like mine) which are not yet in complete lockdown should be more open to moving more teaching online. But then we get both press and parents screaming at us and wanting their fees back. And that means redundancies- noone to provide the teaching.

We've already had cuts (my contract has been halved) and are asking for voluntary redundancies- but if we go bust (and the government clearly have no interest in bailing us out) then the 2years and 3years will be left stranded. No idea how to resolve this.

Well not every course can be taught wholly on-line. Lab work and interactive workshops are part of a lot of courses. But my Dgd was sent in August a slip to fill in if she wanted to do this but it did say she could not do so if she had lab work as part of course. There are some things that are hands on.
There is no solution I can see if a flatmate or member of halls contracts Covid other than the 2 week isolation as is standard. I do agree food parcels or meals should be delivered to isolating students. But even that is not as easy as you think. There may not be enough people to deliver them. Campuses ( well dgds) and accomodation ( dgds) are off limits to all unless u have seminars or lab work ( campuses) and accomodations don't let anyone in. Dgds has a reception and unless u live there u cannot come in.
The blame if u can blame anyone specific, lies squarely with the Government who has not, like schools, provided any sort of real guidance and support to the unis. A lot of lower unis are struggling anyway as they do not have the means if the top unis. The Covid crisis could well see some of them becoming bankrupt.
No one envisaged a world pandemic and I think instead of the constant blame game people should pull together and follow ALL guidelines to stop the spread of Covid. Not being able to have as much fun as usual is hardly the end of the world when u do have SM. And as far as human rights goes it is not anyone's human right to endanger the safety of others. It may sound harsh and believe me I really do feel sorry for this years cohort. There is nothing more I would like to see than my Dgd having the full uni experience that she and all students deserve but it just is not possible at the moment. She nearly died begining of this year and she has accepted that it cannot be normal this year and maybe even next year. If she can accept this I cannot see why others can't. Her life is more important than whether she can party or not.

@corythatwas

See what you mean, Letsgetgoing. Think I have to agree with you there.

At the very least, universities (like mine) which are not yet in complete lockdown should be more open to moving more teaching online. But then we get both press and parents screaming at us and wanting their fees back. And that means redundancies- noone to provide the teaching.

We've already had cuts (my contract has been halved) and are asking for voluntary redundancies- but if we go bust (and the government clearly have no interest in bailing us out) then the 2years and 3years will be left stranded. No idea how to resolve this.

Yes, I'm not sure if those screaming for refunds realise how close some universities are to going bust. They have already made many people redundant where I work and this will continue. Courses will be shut down and students money really will be wasted especially if they are in the second year or above.

I can't understand why the university students are having more stringent lockdowns than the local communities around them Because unlike most of the people on this thread, they have access to the data on where the spread is occurring. In our city, it is almost exclusively in the student halls and households! Not in the community so far, the odd case, and not in the educational part of the campus, no cases detected there. There is no rationale for shutting down the entire city and all the economic and other consequences of this when actually the problem is extremely localized to students.

As for those upset about not getting 60% face to face, that's what we planned for, but as others have said, the alert level has just changed and we cannot and are not allowed by gov't and public health to just carry on with 60% of students on most courses on campus! If you knew the true campus/uni rates you would not even be pushing for this. Keeping much lower numbers, and keeping the campus Covid-19 safe is the priority, sorry.

I very much doubt as some have claimed, they have just got a power point or two up. Really? Isn't it more likely they have a pre-recorded lecture which can take up to three/four hours to video, do alongside the powerpoint, add captions and then put up on the online learning platform. We are not allowed to just put up powerpoints and I'm pretty sure most of the sector isn't doing that. Online Zoom seminars- very tiring getting students to join in. Face to face masked teaching- I'm doing it but it's not clear of its value.

I am not sure most of the parents on this thread really get it- there is absolutely no way your child can have even what was promised two months ago because now we know, through bitter experience, that if you collect students together, it spreads like billyo. Really badly. And a lot of it is asymptomatic so you can't detect it unless you start mass testing.

Sorry things aren't the same, we're all working at my uni twice as hard, luckily the students I speak with are all very appreciative of what we are trying to do. Mine may be the exception, I don't know, but our offer is pretty good this year under the circumstances, but the same as before? Not possible, and yes, the universities are at fault if they promised anything like that. I think this was kind of forseeable, but we, like gov't and most of the population, went with the decline in cases in the summer and hoped (wrongly) that this would continue just a bit longer, actually it all collapsed in with student cases by end Sept.

@Zipperdidoodaa

ClarencesMum - It’s not “barbaric” She’s in a nice warm flat/room with food bring brought to her. She has technology to make her life easier and stay in touch. Stop catastrophising. I feel immensely sorry for all these young people who are having to self isolate but they will cope if we give them the support and encouragement to do so. It is only for 14 days after all and I’m sure she can be getting on with some studying. No it’s not ideal and not a great way to start uni but kids are resilient. Of course there will be those people who have mental health issues and their parents know them best. If they feel they are at risk then the only option is to go and fetch them home for their safety. Op I hope your daughter manages to get through the next few days and comes out of it knowing she’s done her best to protect other people. I would send a parcel. If you go rushing up there then it may make her feel worse once you’ve gone back home.

Try and stay in your bedroom for a whole day. Only leave to go to the bathroom. Only talk to others on the phone. Then do it for a second day.

See how you feel then. One room,4 walls. Just try.

I also find it highly ironic that on the same website where a majority of posters think that if you do not go out at least one a day you'll wilt away and die and fucking obsessed with "going for a walk" , being locked in in a room for 14 days on your own is just fine and character building.

Try and stay in your bedroom for a whole day. Only leave to go to the bathroom. Only talk to others on the phone. Then do it for a second day.

See how you feel then. One room,4 walls. Just try.

I did for a month when I was at uni. No internet in those days and phone calls were really expensive so had to be rationed. A relative left food at my door and rang the doorbell; I stayed in bed and read and listened to music. It was tough but we didn't know how serious my illness was so didn't want to risk spreading it.

My own dd had a bad reaction from a virus last year- took her nearly a year to learn to walk straight. If we can save students from the effects of LongCovid, which seems to have similarly longterm effects but to be a much more common complication, then that seems worth doing.

I don't underestimate the serious effects on students' mental health. But students contracting LongCovid also have mental healths to be considered.

I would send her parcels with food and treats, memes, emails, texts and a Netflix subscription. And then, when her 14 days' quarantine is up, go and get her home to do her course online from home from then on. It looks very likely that students are going to face repeated periods of quarantine for the foreseeable future and unless she is prepared to stay on in halls on that basis, the sooner she is home the better, in my opinion.

Think she will be ok tbh.

Popping has it spot on. Everyone I know at Uni or everything I’ve read indicates students are absolute hot beds of Covid because they really don’t get severe symptoms. Why not address that rather than making it about how distressed ( but healthy) they are.
Two or three weeks of a crap time rather than spread it.

It’s not about hating young people. Its the hyperbole that roughing it out for two or three weeks is a human rights issue.

Try and stay in your bedroom for a whole day. Only leave to go to the bathroom. Only talk to others on the phone. Then do it for a second day.

See how you feel then. One room,4 walls. Just try.

They’re 18. 18 year olds are coming on dingy’s from half way across the world to get to safety .They take drugs, smoke, drink for dangerous things. You are not telling me they can’t leave their rooms to see each other. They’re aren’t armed guards on each corridor.

There is mixed opinions on this. I don’t think it’s easy, I don’t think it’s simple but they will survive it and maybe there is a middle ground be supportive but be a bit firm to.

My 7 year old recently had a hospital admssion ( she is CEV ) only one parent is allowed in and no switches allowed. Day 2 of admission I developed a cough and had to self isolate at home leaving 7 year old in hospital in a cubicle ( not allowed out of cubicle ) she was fine, we face timed, made sure people dropped off a treat box downstairs to give to her.
We played games over iPad, spoke and she came out not traumatised.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

“Try and stay in your bedroom for a whole day. Only leave to go to the bathroom. Only talk to others on the phone. Then do it for a second day.

See how you feel then. One room,4 walls. Just try.”

I was shielding alone in a one-bedroom flat from March-July this year. No garden/outdoor space. Worked from home the whole time. It wasn’t fun - but, y’know, I survived. I think students can survive for 14 days.

I agree 'students can survive for 14 days', but for those 14 days to be so near the start of their time at University where everything is so new and different it is for some, really, really hard! They are still trying to work things out in a new town, and trying to meet friends which is now not possible. I would think students in their 2nd and 3rd years are a bit more relaxed about it. I can see the drop out rate being quite high in the first year.

It’s not really really hard. It’s tedious, lonely and dull for most people.

Isolation and quarantine requirements have been widely used since February. We know what they are and what they involve.

If you decide to move to university and live in halls, you did so in the knowledge that you could be asked to isolate or quarantine in those conditions. If that is all too much, which it could be for some, then the option is there to defer or choose other living arrangements.

Try and stay in your bedroom for a whole day. Only leave to go to the bathroom. Only talk to others on the phone. Then do it for a second day.

See how you feel then. One room,4 walls. Just try.

I have done this lots, don't get your point at all.

It's just two weeks fgs.
There is technology for connecting with and communicating with the outside world.
So many people had to shield on their own for 12 weeks or more... They managed.
The wailing and nashing of teeth over students seems rather over the top.
I agree it's not ideal and difficult for young people who are not getting their expectations of uni met... But they are young adults not children and its just two weeks

@Inkpaperstars

Try and stay in your bedroom for a whole day. Only leave to go to the bathroom. Only talk to others on the phone. Then do it for a second day.

See how you feel then. One room,4 walls. Just try.

I have done this lots, don't get your point at all.

At the age of 18 in a strange city where you knew nobody?

I've done it too by the way. I talk from experience. The thing is I'm naturally wired that way , which was exacerbated by certain circumstances so I was ok for much longer than two weeks.

Most people aren't.

And I seriously doubt even the people that said they did ,would have managed to be in one room (while otherwise happy,healthy,bursting with energy and the need to socialise) for a whole two weeks as easily as they claimed they did. No moaning,no complaining,no tears ...just suck it up and read a book.

Well, admittedly not in that exact scenario Sparkling no, I think I was very sympathetic about that scenario upthread.

@Theredjellybean

It's just two weeks fgs. There is technology for connecting with and communicating with the outside world. So many people had to shield on their own for 12 weeks or more... They managed. The wailing and nashing of teeth over students seems rather over the top. I agree it's not ideal and difficult for young people who are not getting their expectations of uni met... But they are young adults not children and its just two weeks

And if three days later there's another case? Then after two weeks another,and another?

And yes many people managed. Many people also had their mental health severly damaged. Some people died.

Those people were also in their home,some with family. A house that they can meander in for a change of scenery,maybe a garden. Their home comforts. Things that are familiar and bring them joy. Their hobbies at home if they had some . Etc.

Not in one room,in a different place,with just basics,barely knowing anyone and most of the things/people we crave in these situations far ,far away.