Homesick DD locked down in uni room

[RollercoasterRita]

We took our DD to university in the middle of September. She was excited and full of hope. Now due to someone in her halls of residence being tested positive for COVID, her whole floor has been locked down in their tiny rooms with food parcels being delivered to outside their doors. Totally understand the precautions which need to be taken, but my baby girl is lonely and scared and homesick and I just want to drive up there and get her. I feel so helpless....

@Inkpaperstars

Well, admittedly not in that exact scenario Sparkling no, I think I was very sympathetic about that scenario upthread.

It's that exact scenario that makes it different IMO. I could now as a fully functioning adult manage two weeks in my own bedroom in the house I have lived in for years, with the tv, my laptop/phone and a stack of books but at 18 in a strange place, having left home for the first time then not so much.

Well if they follow the rules in the first place instead of flouting them then perhaps they would not have to isolate in the first place!
You reap what u sow. And that goes for everybody not just the students.
Dgds flatmates decided on day 2 that they would follow rules. No one other then them in flat. No partying in others flats. No mixing outside bubble unless social distanced because in their accomodation u had to sign to say u would follow those rules. If one in flat did not whole flat gets fined £200 each. If u hold a party ALL of flat get evicted. It's in their contract they had to sign.none of her flatmates want to be evicted and none want to be isolated so they follow rules and have plenty of fun in their bubble. That way they are free to go out to other places and can go on campus for seminars ( socially distanced) and lab work and medics can do their placements. It's not hard. It is the law and it is necessary unless u want to be permanently isolated.

I agree Sparkling' it is a really tough set up and I fear not all will be able to tolerate it. Many will, but pre existing issues will make it harder for some, and also unfortunate set ups. I mentioned upthread my first room at uni was incredibly tiny and cell like, I had severe claustrophobia in it. Being in a horrible tiny room and not allowed out to see anyone would be much harder than having a half decent room and being in a small bubble with others sharing a flat/kitchen. I am concerned about people who find themselves with a threatening flat mate though.

@Sostenueto

Well if they follow the rules in the first place instead of flouting them then perhaps they would not have to isolate in the first place! You reap what u sow. And that goes for everybody not just the students. Dgds flatmates decided on day 2 that they would follow rules. No one other then them in flat. No partying in others flats. No mixing outside bubble unless social distanced because in their accomodation u had to sign to say u would follow those rules. If one in flat did not whole flat gets fined £200 each. If u hold a party ALL of flat get evicted. It's in their contract they had to sign.none of her flatmates want to be evicted and none want to be isolated so they follow rules and have plenty of fun in their bubble. That way they are free to go out to other places and can go on campus for seminars ( socially distanced) and lab work and medics can do their placements. It's not hard. It is the law and it is necessary unless u want to be permanently isolated.

That's fine if they ALL behave. 7 out of the 8 in my DS's flat decided to follow the rules on the first day they moved in. The other arrogant sod said he would do what he wanted. So what can you do?

In the event, arrogant sod went out every night, staggered in early hours of the morning, and tested positive on Friday. Now the other 7 are isolating despite doing nothing wrong. The arrogant sod has also now broken the rules by beggaring off home and leaving them to it.

So, please tell us what the answer is as you seem to be the font of all knowledge!

DS and his flat mates have emailed the Uni to tell them but havn't even had the courtesy of a reply yet!

@Badbadbunny

How completely frustrating for your ds and his friends, I bet they were fuming.

I do feel sorry for the students who are being sensible as it does feel like they are being lumped in together with the ones who are partying etc, but I suppose it just further highlights the need to think of others - which many adults seem to be struggling with.

The answer is there are always selfish people and all u can do is cope and adapt to an ever changing scenario which we all do in the adult world and some have to do it daily.

My start at uni was very difficult for different reasons and I sympathise with your DD very much. It did, however, get better and I ended up being very happy. Hopefully she has like-minded people she can make friends with and they can get back to some sort of normality soon. We need to remember that this is NOT what any kid starting uni expected, having already had their A levels screwed up, any travel plans scuppered and summer jobs to earn money cancelled. We are only young once and for those of us lucky enough to enjoy a free university education in non-covid crazy times, we should cut these kids some slack.
If her mental health is being affected - and you will know your DD - get her. Otherwise face time, treats parcels, amazon vouchers ? I hope things get better. I look back on my start at uni and I honestly think it has made me able to cope with much more since. You’re a lovely mum for caring so much x

That’s awful for her and her friends. The universities seem to be offering little to no support. It’s a wretched situation for you and your DD.

Plus there is just no support out there. They are on their own

I don’t think that’s true, is it?

As her mum, I feel so helpless

Perhaps you could look into the support that her uni is providing, if she’s feeling too ill to do that herself.

Why "baby girl"?

This is what she went to university for to get away from home and grow up- and maybe this not very pleasant experience will be part of that.

Any chance of being a bit kinder? I’d be worried if it was my kids. Maybe it will do them good in the long term, but let’s not forget that rather than being in familiar surroundings they are away from familiarity and that’s tough. They are also only 18.

I know this is hard for you OP.
My granddaughter is at university in New York. She had to isolate for her first two weeks there as she came from a country outside the USA.
We all felt for her being kept like a prisoner in a strange country.
Her situation was different from your DD's though, she is ten years older, has lived away from home for ten years and had a responsible and well paid job. Her firm had already seconded her to this particular university to do further degree before all this covid business.
I know it is hard, both for you and your daughter, but those two weeks will soon be at an end, and she will be able to come home and visit you.
I know you will spoil her rotten.

My ds is supposed to be starting his course in November in ROI. We live in France. Are we nuts? Should I just keep him with us and do his classes online? My dh is determined that he goes- think I will show him this thread. Your poor dd.