DH home from deployment and already annoyed me

[Rhynswynd]

My husband has come home from deployment an hour and a half ago. He ruined the big surprise I had set up by not telling me when he was close to home so I could get the kids ready to see daddy for the first time in months. He just rocked up to the front door ignoring all the decorations and didn’t let me know he was close. I am so upset. I worked really hard on the surprise for the kids and he just turned up. I messaged multiple times asking what time he was arriving, if he was close etc.

I am really happy he is home but also devastated. Am I completely unreasonable to feel this way?

Jesus YABU.

Do you have any idea how hard it can be to transition between active duty deployment and home life? Let your DP ease into it however they need to.

[quote ChristmasArmadillo]@Leaannb it certainly is always high on DH’s list![/quote]
My husband just came off the docks so I asked him....He told me it was the ice cold beer while taking the shower. I knew this part but I never mentioned it to him....He also told me his first few weeks home he would spend hours in the shower because he still thought the sand was on him1

You are making this all about you.
I can't believe you're not so very happy he's home,alive.instead you're sulking and typing a post!!
Please get your priorities in order.
Be happy,nothing else matters than seeing him home with you and the children
You've no idea what he's been through,support him.
Unbelievable attitude.

@BubblyBarbara yeah, that’s appropriate to ask on a thread started by a woman whose husband has been away serving. What is wrong with you? 🙄

@BubblyBarbara is a known troll on MN. Comment reported.

this 'deployment' thing is sneaking into the British armed forces via awful US suprise reunion videos and its proper tacky.

@user1471565182

this 'deployment' thing is sneaking into the British armed forces via awful US suprise reunion videos and its proper tacky.

We actually got ot from you guys.

yeah basically what Leaanb said. They really, really do not need this.

We used to just use 'overseas'. I really dont know where its creeping in from then but it makes me shudder

There are British forces currently in Afghanistan and low key operations in Iraq and possibly Syria and Kurdistan, Masking.

And they are there mainly to 'provide armoured force protection'.

You're "devastated" and he's home safe.

What would you be if he'd not made it home.

Super mega devastated?

I get it, you had a vision of how this was going to go and a lot invested in it and it didn’t turn out that way.

It doesn’t mean you’re selfish or don’t care that he’s home and the posters insinuating that are absolute morons.

Enjoy the rest of the day anyway ❤️

@user1471565182

this 'deployment' thing is sneaking into the British armed forces via awful US suprise reunion videos and its proper tacky.

My dad was always "on exercise". Be must have been knackered exercising for 10 months 😂

@trixiebelden77

I get it, you had a vision of how this was going to go and a lot invested in it and it didn’t turn out that way.

It doesn’t mean you’re selfish or don’t care that he’s home and the posters insinuating that are absolute morons.

Enjoy the rest of the day anyway ❤️

OR those posters are empathetic towards the husband, rather than morons?

Have you actually read what people have posted? Some very insightful stuff from people who have actively served and been in that position.

I was in a similar situation to you OP with DH working away in an unsafe country and I have to be honest we never did the whole banner thing and the day he came back home for good his mum wanted to decorate my house and make a massive fuss by making him a cake. I know I'm a shit person but I ruined the surprised by telling him what she was up to and he fucking hated the idea of it, He had to turn up and act surprised and sit through it pretending it was lovely when really he didn't want any of it.

All I'm saying is OP, is that it means more to you than him and him being home is all that should really matter.

Your DH, who you haven’t seen for months, arrives home safe and well and you are devastated because of what exactly? Him not noticing your banner? Grow up OP.

[quote Leaannb]@Maskingforit....They are definitely in a war zone training people to fight their own battles. They are very much in danger. Even in the Green Zone. They are very much a target because the opposing forces do not want them to teach. They are still very much in danger from IEDs,roadside bombs and children strapped with bombs. They are not on a holiday. They are providing a very much needed service. Respect it. They nlr their families know if they are coming back[/quote]
Fight their own battles? It was the US and UK who started the war!

hope it's going better now, OP.

For everyone else complaining that returning (yep, even from a 3 week muddy exercise) folk just want the 3 Ss and a bit of home life.

As a pad's brat in the 70s when our dads spent a lot of time in NI we never knew when they were coming back. It was better that way. Although when we were very small it was a tad traumatic because they always had moustache growing competitions and we often didn't recognise our usually clean-shaven dads.

Omg YABVU maybe ge shouldn't come back next time. You are very selfish.

We don't know what he's been through? The guy is probably just relieved to be home without all the farce of surprises

Agree with @cassilis.