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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call my partner Cuntface

203 replies

60sbird · 30/09/2020 19:56

My partner and I have a great relationship, we are both quite childish and tend to call each other cunt chops or cunt face, never in anger always in fun, I’ve found my one to stay childish with rather than grow old with

OP posts:
Howlooseisyourgoose · 02/10/2020 17:36

@60sbird

Reading some of these responses, I want to say fuck off, but I’m a Surrey Lady so I won’t, I have a great life with a great partner, we’ve both known the sadness of losing our parents and both know life is incredibly short for some so we try and enjoy ourselves, admittedly a bit crudely but hey it works for us. Enjoy your lives
What are you try to say? That you’re posh? Are we supposed to be impressed?
WiddlinDiddlin · 02/10/2020 17:46

I dunno which I find funnier..

The responses with a stick up their arses and an immediate assumption that the OP must throw awful dinner parties and be ill educated, or the people earnestly looking for a point to this thread.

Its an internet forum, there does not need to be a point to the thread.

In my house:

Me: I need a wee
Him: You are a wee
Me: No you are a wee.
Him: You are a mudflap.
Me: You are a jog-on.

The dogs are collectively referred to as wankers or hairy wankers or hairy freeloading wankers depending on how awful they have been lately.

We fart. We've been known to rate fart quality on a multipoint system, with duration, bass, melody and stench as factors.

If that doesn't amuse you, that's fine by me, you don't live in my house!

EarringsandLipstick · 02/10/2020 18:36

@WiddlinDiddlin

I dunno which I find funnier..

The responses with a stick up their arses and an immediate assumption that the OP must throw awful dinner parties and be ill educated, or the people earnestly looking for a point to this thread.

Its an internet forum, there does not need to be a point to the thread.

In my house:

Me: I need a wee
Him: You are a wee
Me: No you are a wee.
Him: You are a mudflap.
Me: You are a jog-on.

The dogs are collectively referred to as wankers or hairy wankers or hairy freeloading wankers depending on how awful they have been lately.

We fart. We've been known to rate fart quality on a multipoint system, with duration, bass, melody and stench as factors.

If that doesn't amuse you, that's fine by me, you don't live in my house!

🤢🤢🤢🤢

Thing is, OP posted in AIBU. It's fair enough that people answer that.

You're right, I don't have to have any opinion on your & OPs use of language & public sharing of over-interest in bodily functions. But if I read it on an Internet forum, it's not terribly surprising if I respond with my view (which is 🤢 but for someone else might be 🤣)

REDLIPSTICKANDNAILS · 02/10/2020 18:39

You're the type of person OP who thinks you're so hilarious and crazy. Call your husband what you want but honestly what makes you think any of us give a flying fuck?

chrislilleyswig · 02/10/2020 18:54

I'm not English so don't know if I'm meant to be impressed by Surrey Lady, or look down my nose

WiddlinDiddling · 03/10/2020 02:48

I don't mind the "eurgh, I don't find that funny, just grim" responses, that's fair enough.

It's the "you must be lacking in education/poor/lower class/throw awful dinner parties/unprofessional people" judgements that annoy me.

I can be highly professional, I have clients for what I do from all backgrounds and around the world, my dinner parties are legendary for their class, wit, roast swan (this is a lie, I don't do dinner parties at all)...

How someone might behave with a partner in this respect has no bearing on whatever else they do!

OlympicProcrastinator · 03/10/2020 02:52

You're the type of person OP who thinks you're so hilarious and crazy. Call your husband what you want but honestly what makes you think any of us give a flying fuck?

Oooh I dunno. Eight pages of comments? Grin

CareBear50 · 03/10/2020 03:17

I think it's a disgusting term

speakout · 03/10/2020 07:38

Me: I need a wee
Him: You are a wee
Me: No you are a wee.
Him: You are a mudflap.
Me: You are a jog-on.

Sounds like a conversation between two 6 year olds.

GoldfishParade · 03/10/2020 07:43

@EarringsandLipstick

God that's cringe.

Agree with PP re made up swear words like "cockwomble" are so embarrassing. Just say cock.

zoomiecraziness · 03/10/2020 10:01

@GoldfishParade but a cock and a cock womble are different things so why would you say cock if you mean cock womble?!

zoomiecraziness · 03/10/2020 10:04

Well said @WiddlinDiddling

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/10/2020 15:40

@speakout

*Me: I need a wee Him: You are a wee Me: No you are a wee. Him: You are a mudflap. Me: You are a jog-on.*

Sounds like a conversation between two 6 year olds.

Exactly.

And if you can't have a silly six year old-ish conversation with your partner, who CAN you have one with?

Do all conversations have to be a high brow intellectual discourse on philosophy or the state of the economy?

Does it help if I say also have silly fart based conversations with a TV presenter, a trauma surgeon and a forensic criminologist (genuinely, within the last week I have had silly conversations with all three)... or does that make it worse, I don't know.

speakout · 03/10/2020 15:57

*And if you can't have a silly six year old-ish conversation with your partner, who CAN you have one with?

Do all conversations have to be a high brow intellectual discourse on philosophy or the state of the economy?
*

Are those the only two types of conversations that exist?

As a family we thrive on humour. None of it is "wee wee" stuff though.

Hairdyehell · 03/10/2020 15:59

To many people looking in, you sound crude and unintelligent if you think this is an acceptable way you speak to each other (in public or not).

However, if it floats your boat do whatever the hell you like.

If you put it out in the public domain, expect to be judged.

unmarkedbythat · 03/10/2020 16:13

DH and I call each other all sorts of things in private, I don't care what anyone else would think of it and I'm sure that as long they don't have to hear it, neither do they :)

GarlicMonkey · 03/10/2020 16:19

Wow, you're so edgy & special.

SisterAgatha · 03/10/2020 18:11

I find it laughable that everyone thinks cunt is the worst thing you can say to someone, and here there are pages and pages of mean and spiteful comments which to me are far worse than a single word.

REDLIPSTICKANDNAILS · 04/10/2020 12:50

@OlympicProcrastinator well I don't give q flying fuck. And most people are just telling the OP the same.

indie92 · 05/10/2020 00:12

his term for me is sorry spunk bubble

Clevererthanyou · 05/10/2020 00:17

I called my dearcat a shit fuck earlier, I was sewing my deardogs toy cow back together and I stabbed myself the the needle, twice. She pounced like a ninja, twice. I love her though.

Crinklyoldhag · 05/10/2020 00:31

I’m loving the outrage... OP you do what suits you. All the accusations of how you are trying to be edgy kind of miss the point - you’ve posted anonymously on a forum about a private element of your relationship I’m guessing for a bit of fun and to see if anyone does similar. Life when you’re just darling or honeybun must be so dull. Gimme a cunt face or pissflaps any day.

Upherefordancing · 05/10/2020 00:53

I used to work with a woman who delightfully told everyone that her and her DP would leave the toilet door open when they had a poo so they could carry on talking. Is this you OP?

Thanks for sharing.

Janevaljane · 05/10/2020 00:59

I would never call my husband a cunt even as a joke and in 27 years he's never once called me any kind of name. Rating farts and calling each other wee wees is not on our radar.

We laugh a lot together though, so I suppose people with the same sense of humour find each other.

borntohula · 05/10/2020 00:59

Some of these responses are hilarious. 😁 I'd rather be called 'cuntchops' than be an actual cunty person, there are enough of them here already.

In fact, I'm stealing cuntchops.

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